first

first

I would treat the body pillow how it deserves to be treated, on a comfy bed with real ladies. haha. =D

I would set her on my bed...very simple and elegant

First comments AND double posting. CoreyZ232, you are a true asshole. I would hump my pillow...a lot.

The date would consist of her playing with herself on Ar Tonelico 2 of course with me playing with both of them at the same time from the bed. During the game id of course get distracted and hug her while whispering sweet nothings in her ear and well you can only assume where that would lead seeing as how we're already on her designated spot. ;)

Since I am a proper gentleman and have actually taught cotillion (you know, formal etiquette and ballroom dance lessons full of balls and gala's), I know how to treat a lady (or body pillow in this case). I would first take her out to a fine dining restaurant for a five course wine dinner, then take her to a Jazz club for our musical entertainment. I would then drive her up (in the nicest of cars) to a hill overlooking San Fransico (whose true meaning has been lost in history as scholars maintain) for the conclusion of a romantic night.
What a Wonderful Life (for a body pillow)

Well... seeing as how my girlfriend and I just split up days ago... I would be using this as my new (better) girlfriend. What do I mean by that? Well she would watch Battlestar Galactica with me in bed, of course!

First stop, drive-in theater...the rest can go from there ;D

After a tough day of classes and being asked to reset passwords a million times at my Help Desk job, I would love to come home to a lady pillow. I would ask her how her day went and she would shrug (as I fluffed her up, of course). Then I would lay on her and listen to downtempo triphop to melt the day's stress away...

I will put her in a house I have already built for her, in her own TemerPedic bed. I will feed her daily and sing sweet songs to her while drooling on myself and rocking, in the fetal position.

I would do what any self-righteous pillowizer would do- take her out to a night on the town. Cheerfully sneak into movies (her unknowing I had cut a pillow-sized hole in the bottom of the popcorn tub beforehand.. LOL), then followed by a nice dinner (no red wine of course). She would be so impressed she would practically be ready and fluffed by that time. After hook and line, comes sinker. I get down on one knee, teary eyed, and pull out a small box from my back pocket. I take out the contents to unravel a gorgeous diamond silk cover.. just her size. Being as how I had to, unfortunately, sell my house to accomplish all this, we find a nice Red Lobster and claim the finest box in the alley. I'll wake in the morning with virtually no kinks in my neck. Ah.. what a life. If only, huh? :'(

I'll let my dog sleep on it. except I don't have a dog.

ah hell...

I will break into my girlfriends house (out of love) and place her (the pillow) on her bed. We (being me and the pillow) will then proceed to wait for my girlfriend to return home. When she finally enters the house and I explain why there is a broken window, we (me, the sexy sexy pillow and my just as sexy (if not more) sexy girlfriend) will then be magically transported to Paris where we will dine atop the *ahem* Tour D'Eifel (Pillows love French). The food will be comprised of the finest cuisine in all of France. We will finish of this madgical evening By simply watching the stars. I will then give my girlfriend to Jacqli and they will be best friends forever. Hey, wait, where did these tears come from?

Jacqli deserves much more than I could ever provide, but it wouldn't stop me from trying.

I'd buy her her own blanket. I'd look for one with a rose pattern and black lace frill. Nothing overly complicated, though. A pillow, too. I can't afford a bed, but I can sleep on the couch. She must be shown respect due her from a gentleman.

While I would love to cook for her, she needs a seamstress over a chef. I would find suitable cloth-made foods so that at the dinner table, she would not feel left out.

Shopping around, I could find removable decals that she would enjoy and art she would enjoy seeing for the wall. The art would need to convey a soft sadness and soothing shadow.

We would watch some tv together now and again. I wonder how she would enjoy paranormal reality shows such as Ghost Hunters. I think she'd also be quite pleased to listen to Nightwish music with me. Somehow, that music seems it would fit her. It would not be the only music, but I think it would be one of our favorites.

She'd sit beside me as I struggle with my graphic design projects, offering quiet inspiration. Her cute smile would encourage me when I was frustrated and tense. I would always thank her with sincerity for her help.

I would keep her off the floor and away from anything that would make her dirty. When we go outside on the porch to watch the sunset, I would bring out the chair I have especially for her that would always be clean.

Not a day would go by that I wouldn't offer her sincere compliments on her beauty and personality. I also know the value of silence and simply being near.

Jacqli, even the angels are jealous of your brilliance . . .

i'd buy here tea and crumpets. whatever the hell crumpets are...
oh, fuck that. i'm in the usa for gods sakes. i'd take her to a strip club. with male strippers. and let her get whatever the hell they give you in those places.
not that i'd know.
*cough*
moving along...

Upon arrival in her first class limousine of a FedEx box (Oh yeah, I so sprung for the upgrade) I would run (in slow motion of course) to her side, pick her up by her non existent pillowy appendages and swing her lovingly in the air a few times (still slow-mo). After a few eskimo and oh what the hell butterfly kisses I'd gracefully show her to her chariot (a 1992 Ford Taurus of course). On the way home I would ask her how the trip was, offer her a cool refreshing bottle of Dasani water (only the best) or perhaps a 7 and 7 (your liquor laws cant hold me!!!).

We'd talk, laugh and most likely cry for awhile and then head into her new castle (a 700 sq ft apartment). Upon seeing my wife I estimate it could get tense but I'd simply introduce them lock my wife in her cage (where she should have been in the first place damnit) and let Jacqli savor the sweet smell of Filet Mignon searing on the stove. Being the gentleman I am I would no doubt whimsically input the second season of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia into the PS3 for her to enjoy while dinner was being prepared.

Ready for anything (as I always am) I'd ask "Which side would you prefer" and let her choose from fresh asparagus picked that morning, rosemary cheddar scalloped red potatoes or Kraft Macaroni and cheese. No doubt she'd intently point to the Mac and I would take it upon myself to begin boiling 8 cups of water.

Now with the aroma of processed powdered cheese filling the room I'd make my move. Pour us both a nice glass of henessy (I sware to god I don't use roofies anymore) and snuggle up next to her on the couch. With a deep and somber "Mind if I get the remote" I'd look into her silk screened eyes and move in....

Remote in hand I'd proceed to watch the new episode of How It's Made, get stone drunk and puke for anywhere between 5 and 25 minutes. Upon realizing the food is burning I'd rush to the kitchen, complete my masterpiece of a meal and invite her to an elequently set dining table. My wife would probably be screaming and making all sorts of racket but I think on my feet; after I deliver the bucket of fish heads it's down to business.

At this point I can only assume her cringes and gastrointestinal cries for help means she loves it. I offer her seconds and she politely refuses.....

And then............. I sit, wondering WHY THE FUCK I just covered my new pillow in Mac & Cheese, I really need to lay off the PCP.

Thank you, vote Dont Panic for Pillow winner!

I would first take her out of that horrible package and ask her if she where ok, then I would take her to my room and place her on my bed while we relaxed and got to know each other better, and on the TV would be one of those DVD's that show a fireplace. Then after a while we would play a few game and watch a few animes, ad when it's time for bed we will lay down and i will throw the blanket over the both of us and hold her in my arms till be both fell asleep.

I'd bring it breakfast in bed, ask it how's it going, as it what's wrong, help it through its troubled times, cry when it cries, laugh when it laughs, hug it when it wants to be hugged...

-Dinner. Lights low. Music, soft-

I lean in to whisper something cottony' soft into her ear and 'accidentially' spill my glass of red all over her frilly dress. "Oops, let me get that," I say with an apologetic facade. I grab a dish towel and begin to dab at the area. Then begin to rub it in circular motions. "Let's just toss that in the washing machine. I'm such a klutz."
"Well what's for desert," she asks with her bedroom eyes.

-Next morning-

Awwww yeah.