E3 2010: Why wait? Tomorrow's games reviewed NOW – Friday edition

There are lots of things we want to know: Lotto numbers for the next year, how to make a real lightsaber, when this whole “Twilight” mania will finally end… But the thing we’re most eager to know is what this E3’s most talked-about games are going to score when it finally comes time to review them. So, we’ve consulted psychics, mediums, and our own future selves to obtain one last batch of wisdom from the future – read it now or you’ll have to wait until the rest of time catches up.

Portal 2

The first game was a mod that became another mod that can only be called “a success” if you can describe Tiger Woods as “a golf guy”. It was the textbook definition of a smash hit. It catapulted a relatively unknown musician to geek god-dom. It made people love a lifeless, immobile cube so much they purchased fuzzy, plush versions of it. It is, to date, one of only three legitimately good uses of Autotune. And it won several Game of the Year awards despite the fact that it was only a few hours long. So, yes – it was big.

In some publisher’s hands, that kind of success would mean a new Portal every six months, the addition of meaningless ancillary franchises and extra characters, celebrity cameos and a subtitle with the word “Xtreme” in it. Thankfully, Portal 2 is from Valve. As such, you’re looking at a full-sized game that begins by respecting and retaining the things that made the original great, then expands upon the concept in a few perfect ways (brain-boggling two-player co-op, an energy bridge that extends through portals, a laser-bending refraction cube). The only thing we can’t definitely predict, even with our powers, is a release date. Neither art nor science can be rushed, and this looks to be both.

Score: 10

Killzone 3

Killzone 2 was one of the most ridiculously internet-controversial games of the PS3’s lifespan, but its sequel – if the demo Sony’s showing off is any indication – should be a lot less divisive. While it uses the same bleak, gray color palette as the first game, it’s even more visually impressive – and not just because it’s playable in 3D. The ocean below the arctic drilling platforms on which the Killzone 3 demo is set bucks and rolls in a convincingly stormy way, and there’s more to do than there was in KZ2; more kinds of Helghast to kill, more things to destroy, and bigger, more destructive weaponry. The rhythm-based close-quarters kills are gruesome fun, too, and the jetpacks – while nothing we haven’t seen before in other games – are a nice addition that we hope to see a lot of over the course of the full game.

Score: 9

Silent Hill 8 (working title)

Shown only as a trailer, we nonetheless feel we’ve probably already seen enough to pass judgment on Konami’s latest foray into the strange grime-and-flesh dimension that is Silent Hill. First off, the series has been handed over to Vatra games, an unproven developer with no track record – though its other game, an upcoming reboot of Rush ’N Attack: Ex-Patriot, does look to be at least okay. Secondly, the last five Silent Hill games have averaged low-to-mid 70s on Metacritic. Thirdly, this one is going to be handicapped by the fact that longtime soundtrack composer, Akira Yamaoka, is no longer at Konami. The music in this trailer completely lacks that blend of beauty and tension that played such a large role in setting the mood. Finally, the graphical quality looks okay, but if this trailer is the best they can do, this series should probably stay dead for awhile.

Score: 6

Sonic Colors

After years of missteps involving human-kissing, idiotic sidekicks, and the worst werewolf that ever was, Sonic has finally gone and done the thing that brought him fame in the first place: Stealing from Mario! A shot of Sonic Colors’ overworld is almost indistinguishable from a Super Mario Galaxy map (save for Robotnik’s mustache) yet the game is all the better for it.

All that horrendous filler is gone, and without an idiotic storyline to adhere to, Sonic Team has been freed up to design levels from every suppressed recess of their once mighty imagination. The Wisps – collectible critters that are also power-ups – add to the exploration and also provide the perfect incentive for replaying levels in a way that half-assed letter grades never could. However, Sonic Colors’ colorful design, no matter how inspired, doesn’t achieve the level of “for a Wii game” awe as Mr. Mario’s Galaxy.

Score: 8

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  • tacoman38 - June 21, 2010 2:37 a.m.

    so. what are the other two legit uses of autotune after portal?
  • hardcore_gamer1990 - June 21, 2010 12:55 a.m.

    News just in! Sonic game to be announcing crappy gimmick after these short messages... My money is on FPS running system and a jetpack. The running would all be done in FPS, including spinjumps and spindash ACTUALLY spinning with Sonic.
  • g4m3rk1dd - June 20, 2010 8:52 p.m.

    sonic colors looks (and sounds) like a more colorful "Sonic The Hedgehog" for 360 :| that being said... i want it only becuase the areas looks so awesome (i only play the 360 one now becuase of the graphics)
  • CandiedJester - June 20, 2010 5:41 p.m.

    Haha, I did actually take a course in animation once. Guess I'm gonna have to get Epic Mickey. xD Also LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL on the last one.
  • veryweirdguy - June 20, 2010 11:29 a.m.

    In retrospect, my comment looks like it could have been for realsies and serious. It wasn't! I apologise. Although no 10 for Ship Simulators is a muthafuckin' biased crime.
  • oryandymackie - June 20, 2010 9:27 a.m.

    Ship simulators are for real men.
  • Spacegrass - June 20, 2010 12:15 a.m.

    Say what you will about the ship game, but at least ships give you the ability to move in two dimensions. What I'll never understand is, who plays all those train simulators I'm always seeing in the Steam store?
  • JohnnyMaverik - June 19, 2010 11:33 p.m.

    Ship Simulator Extremes is an 11/10 game in the making, any fool can see that -_-
  • lovinmyps3 - June 19, 2010 9:58 p.m.

    I predict 8 for inFamous 2 and a 9 for Epic Mickey. The rest sounds spot on to me.
  • RonnyLive19881 - June 19, 2010 7:45 p.m.

    Knocking off two points towards Epic Micky because it has beautiful graphics? WTF! I thought this GR's favorite game of the show?
  • Klodz - June 19, 2010 5:53 p.m.

    A 9???? Microsoft obviously "Pre-Ordered" you at E3 ;P Nah, really enjoyed these articles.
  • MACGRUBER7693 - June 19, 2010 5:27 p.m.

    I bet portal 2 will be really awesome just like the first one but the sorce engine is starting look really old and by old i mean shitty.
  • veryweirdguy - June 19, 2010 10:47 a.m.

    If Killzone 2 were on 360 it would have gotten a 10. Typical journalism bias. :(
  • philipshaw - June 19, 2010 10:06 a.m.

    I loved these articles, it's sad that E3 is over for another year
  • Mortified_Cow - June 19, 2010 5:57 a.m.

    WHAT you gave Killzone 3 a 9. BIAS!!! That game is so a 10. I have a friend in Japan thats playing it now cause his uncle works at sony and he says it great. How much did Microsoft pay you... Sorry, the comments lacked fanboyism so I had to fill the void. Loved all the "Reviewed Now" articles. Nice way to sum up the crazy amount of games covered this year. Though I do agree with everyone else, Ship Simulator Extreme = best game evar. I mean if it was not the extreme version I could see it getting a 7 or 8, but oh man. That extreme. whoa look out.
  • Limbo - June 19, 2010 4:31 a.m.

    Guys, come on. Can't you see that this is Ship Simulator EXTREME? Anything wth extreme in its title is bound to be an adrenaline-fueled, fast-paced game.
  • shyfonzie - June 19, 2010 4:20 a.m.

    What?! Why wasn't there more coverage of Ship Simulator Extreme? I need to know everyhting about it.
  • GoodGuyWithACrappyJob - June 19, 2010 4:05 a.m.

    This article pulls some pretty logical punches, but I'm more inclined to wait and listen to Lord Dunsany. Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. Good thing the article was relatively short...
  • xXgodlypunkXx - June 19, 2010 2:55 a.m.

    I could see these scores being accurate, save for the new sonic game. i thought GR wold've learned its lesson by now. Shame on you GR. Shame. I'm exited for all of the others though, Portal 2 in particular.
  • Imgema - June 19, 2010 2:29 a.m.

    For me, Portal 2 is like Super Mario Bros. Just like SMB saved the industry from its doom back in 1986, Portal 2 is now saving the industry from all the gaming trends and proves that there is some originality and awesomeness somewhere along all those boring, mainstream games.