In a medium full of perfect teeth, washboard stomachs and breasts that have their own gravitational pull, it’s rare to see characters with disabilities. But they do exist… and they’ve done some badass things. Be it killing gods, eating hardened soldiers or even creating the Nintendo universe; being physically challenged never got in the way of this bunch’s fun.
Disabled and deadly in: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Known as ‘the father of modern sniping’, Big Boss’ ancient rifle-toting nemesis is infirm, but constantly formidable. As much Chrysanthemum as killer (he can photosynthesize when his strength gets sapped), The End is still struck with a variety of health problems. When he’s not entered into life or death sniper duels, the century old OAP is confined to a wheel chair. This is because he also suffers from Narcolepsy (he keeps falling asleep at a moment’s notice).
If enforced trips to the Land of Nod and a decrepit, moss-infested body weren’t enough, the lethal senior citizen is also plagued with peeper problems. Being able to detach his retinas actually helps him, though, and it’s one of the main factors behind his sharp-shooting prowess. Physically challenged or not, The End is the last pensioner you want to cross as Snake Eater’s heart in mouth, hour long battle with him attests.
Disabled and deadly in: House of the Dead: Overkill
‘A brilliant mind with a broken body’, that’s how Sega sum up Overkill’s paraplegic hard man. Somewhere between Stephen Hawking and Frankenstein’s monster, Guns is fiercely devoted to the sister who raised him and will do anything to protect her. So much so, he overdoses on experimental medication to kill Papa Caesar, a maniacal pantomime villain who’s threatening her.
Having to use an electronic voice box and living with paralysis are tragic. Purposely mutating into a levitating monstrosity (with fingers that make Freddy Krueger’s digits look about as threatening as plastic cutlery) is worse than Bambi’s mum biting it. Don’t feel sorry for him, though. In his mutated form Guns could rip out Agent Washington’s motherf**king larynx in a motherf**king millisecond.
Deadly and disabled in: Blood Will Tell
Some babies have it tough. Take the Penguin from Batman. Left in a basket with the morning paper and a bottle of milk, the poor bambino was born half flightless fish-muncher and worse, half Danny DeVito. Still, his hard luck story ain’t got nothing on Hyakkimaru’s. You think being half Arctic bird is bad? Try having all your organs and flesh removed by demons, before all your limbs are replaced by elaborate weapons of death.
Above: Hyakkimaru’s father made a pact for power with the demon gods
and his son paid for it with his eyeballs and other assorted parts
While most kids pray for new toys or games, baby Hyakkimaru was wishing for a new spleen and vocal chords. Thankfully, his friendly neighbourhood physician builds him fake body parts to get him through his terrible twos and beyond. Hyakkimaru even gets the chance to become a real boy throughout Blood Will Tell. And, instead of rewarding him with power ups, the game gives Hyakkimaru bits of his original body every time he kills one of 48 demon gods.
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