9 things real female gamers hate about gaming

You've seen the stereotypes. The "GRRL" girl, the "Yeah,-I'm-a-girl,-but-I'll-kick-your-ass" girl, the "celebugamer." While these girls do exist, hey, there're us regular-type girls who play videogames, too. Most of the gamer chicks you see promoting themselves on the internet love attention more than gaming, or are paid to adopt that stereotypical “girl gamer” persona, but what about the rest of us girls –  the ones who actually play videogames? We’re stealthily walking among you like ninjas – and man, do we have a lot to hate about gaming.

Contributors: Lizzie Cuevas, Cheryll Del Rosario

1. "Well, you don't LOOK like a gamer..."

Why, because I showered? See how stereotypes feel? We’re just as varied as anyone else, but most assume we must be hideously grotesque heifers who lose controllers into the folds of our fat palms like we’re made of coconut-scented quicksand. Unless, of course, we’re wearing Fragdolls T-shirts or Zelda tramp stamps, which is the other acceptable female gamer stereotype.

Above: Thanks – FOR NOTHING 

Above: Obvs a grrl gamer 

We don't all wear our love for videogames on our sleeves, just like we're sure you don't wear videogame novelty shirts every day... right? Right?

2. Honey, we've heard them all before

So you're playing an online game, and you hear yet another prepubescent boy over your headset... but wait, that's no boy! It's a girl! So naturally, you tell her to go back to the kitchen. Funny. Slap yourself on the wrist, you bad, bad boy. Your three seconds of stand-up was only funny the first time, when the other douchebag said it six matchmaking lobbies ago. No one laughed then, either, and no one’s laughing now… probably because you sound fat.

3. We don’t always want to talk about videogames

Great, you met a girl who plays videogames – now you can ALWAYS talk about videogames with her! False. Just because we share a common interest doesn’t mean we don’t have other interests, too, and we know you also have other interests.

Guys love to dumb themselves down to ask us videogame-related questions, just for the novelty of talking to a girl about videogames. We’re not Google, asshat. And don’t condescend, there’s nothing worse. That said…

4. Not interested!

Just because we’re interested in videogames doesn’t mean we’re interested in you. Once word gets out that there’s a female gamer in the vicinity, guys lose their shit. We’re forced to leave our headsets muted when playing online to avoid the inevitable “So, do you have a boyfriend?” We wanna play the damn game, not hook up with you, kthx. Want a hook-up? Go to…

5. GameCrush

Earlier this week, GameCrush’s public beta was launched. The service enables male gamers to pay to play with attractive female gamers (“PlayDates”). The guys can choose to have their experience be either “flirty” or “dirty.” Ew. This kind of objectification of female gamers just furthers the idea that real female gamers don't exist, or that if they play, they must be ugly.

6. Most of us don't actually like "chick" games

Because they're all stupid. Either the Lisa Frank-esque box art reeks of pastels, or the game’s title is misspelled, or there’s some combination of the two. Wait, you mean you MEANT to put a 'z' at the end of the game? Oh, howz cutez!!!!1 Tell the LOLcat who works at your company we don’t need literal reassurance that your game isn’t Call of Duty.

Above: Girlzzzz gamezzzz zzz 

And while Cooking Mama is fun and all, why do most cooking games have a chick on the cover? Piss off and cook your own damn meal.

Above: The sad reality (thanks to AJ Glasser for the Papa concept)

7. Stupid female character outfits

We realize games are largely based in fantasy, but could character designers get a little more creative with how they clothe their females? Male characters in games get tricked-out armor suits, iconic headgear (Master Chief comes to mind) and outfits that fit their surroundings. Meanwhile, female characters are left with only sashes and a smile.

Above: More of Samus, less of… the other stuff 

8. Yes, Paul Ryan, we do hate going into videogame stores

Don’t get us wrong – we get excited with each purchase of a new game. (After all, we do love shopping~!!! LOL!!) But we hate going into a videogame store, only to be directed to the Nintendo section or have the employees look at us like some lost sheep who strayed away from our boyfriends. Bitch, this copy of Halo is MINE.

9. Grrrl Gamers and anything relating to "female gaming empowerment"

Which kind of implies that we hate this article, but it is GamesRadar’s Week of Hate, so maybe we do. HATE!

Just because we're girls who enjoy spending hours in front of a TV pressing buttons, that does not mean we need to join your community, blog, Facebook group or Twitter-feed-sorority-clustershart of gaming-girl goodness. We like playing games. We are girls. These things don't necessarily need to be tied together, nor do we feel the need to have special treatment because we’re both. And if we happen to want to spend 31 hours perfecting our chopping techniques in Cooking Mama instead of having an equally enjoyable Modern Warfare 2 estrogen-fest against the boys, we shouldn't be considered less of a gamer than you.

Mar 26, 2010