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8 things old gamers moan about

The gaming world has changed: videogames come on round, shiny things called ‘discs;’ a small Korean child playing thousands of miles away can whip your ass at Starcraft II; Resident Evil is now an action-packed, bullet-soaked extravaganza; HD graphics have rendered the outside world obsolete; gamers now love EA and hate Activision.

Yes, sir, the world has changed, and you can either nobly roll with the punches and embrace the future or sit in your favorite comfy, moth-bitten chair and bitch, bitch, bitch. These are some of the topics in gaming today that make old people feel cold and frightened.


New-Fangled Watchamajig: Dark or desaturated visuals

Curmudgeonly Gamer Says: ‘’I demand all adult shooters, survival horror and post-apocalyptic games cease using dark or oppressive color schemes because it makes me feel sad.’’


Above: Fallout 3 by Rare

Open-Mind Gamer Says: Just as they do with sound design and voice acting, game developers use art direction to evoke in players the appropriate emotion. Yes, a lot of recent games have trended towards grimy, gritty and grey-ish color palettes, but only because they are grimy, gritty and grey-ish experiences themselves. Would Fallout 3 be effective if it looked like Viva Pinata? Should Megaton’s Nuke explosion have resulted in a billion candy pieces raining from the sky? Actually...


New-Fangled Watchamajig: Premium content

Curmudgeonly Gamer Says: ‘’Back in my day, we took a belt to the boy who bought clothes for his doll like you young-uns do with your avatars.’’


Above: This house belongs to Brian, aged 44

Open-Minded Gamer Says: Paid-for bonuses that unlock, for example, all of Skate 3’s features immediately (the ‘Time is Money’ pack) or let you deck out your Oblivion horse or Mass Effect 2 love interest in garish apparel may be tittersome attempts by publishers to supplement their product (at best) and tasteless grabs for our cash (at worst), but we sure wouldn’t like to live in a society where choice is discouraged. If premium perks someday gave online gamers an edge, favoring the man with the most money, we wouldn’t complain; isn’t that what life/WoW is about anyway?


Above: World of Warcraft gold farmers – what life is about


New-Fangled Watchamajig:  Gamestop/Gamestation Pre-Order Exclusives

Curmudgeonly Gamer Says: ‘’You can’t bribe me, Mr. Retailer. It’s my choice if I want to dedicate the spare change I have after buying computer games on liquorice and trouser braces.’’

Opening-Minded Gamer Says: In a competitive market, rival companies compete for consumers’ money by offering incentives. This is true everywhere, from supermarkets to phone tariffs. Why do we feel threatened when game retailers start following the same practices? Rather than see pre-order bonuses as content you’re getting screwed out of if you don’t put your name on a list, see it as that – a bonus. And if some golden-Lancer-wielding Gears of War 2 soldier makes you ashamed of that rusty shit you’re holding, guess you should’ve pre-ordered it.


Above: ‘’I SHOULD HAVE PRE-ORDERED IT!!!!’


New-Fangled Watchamajig: DLC

Curmudgeonly Gamer Says: ‘’Used to be, games ended when they ended. Spend my pension on post-release content that the developers devilishly cut from the product? Good day, sir!’’


Above: ‘’Hmm, what to charge for Halo Reach’s next map pack...’’

Open-Minded Gamer Says: God forbid the people behind games plan ahead. Mass Effect 2’s excellent story-led missions like Lair of the Shadow Broker, or Halo Reach’s multiplayer map packs weren’t afterthoughts, appearing as sudden brainwaves in the hive minds of BioWare and Bungie as the game was sent out to retailers - that sort of lackadaisical planning would prevent DLC arriving for about a year after you’ve finished with the game. Fact: All quality DLC is pre-conceived.

85 comments

  • rxb - March 18, 2011 1:52 a.m.

    I feel like i should moan but the article is too well written, I'l get back to you when my old mind thinks something up.... Btw on the disc DLC is day light robbery.
  • tobz1000 - March 18, 2011 1:12 a.m.

    Most of these responses sound sarcastic. I really can't tell what stance the author is taking...
  • DreamWeaverPL - March 18, 2011 12:37 a.m.

    "Open-Minded Gamer"? Should be just a "newbie", or a "newfag". A child that likes what it is presented with, devoid of any critical thought. In my days, we played FPP games with a mouse and a keyboard.
  • Crimsonkingx - March 18, 2011 12:29 a.m.

    I hate cakes! ....So god damn delicious...
  • Kyo - March 17, 2011 11:39 p.m.

    So. Damn. True. lol old dudes are about on par with elitists -_- They hate change and think every thing should be there way :/ Then again we have the young new generation of gamers that think every game should be CoD or Halo :c crap... I think we're all screwed up.
  • BazyLastard - March 17, 2011 11:27 p.m.

    Educate and elevate: stereotype noun "...a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment" example: see this article.
  • NightCrawler_358 - March 17, 2011 9:48 p.m.

    I don't like DLC, especially from Capcom. I don't mind if an RPG has DLC because they're usually pretty good. Also, I don't care if somebody is too young to play a game, but I just think their parents should watch them play online to make sure they don't go all swear-bear on the mic. Potty-mouth 8-year olds is what makes me cross.
  • aaron171 - March 17, 2011 8:50 p.m.

    reply to the "new game" FPS...black ops was not a quality game. it only sells well because of the first three words in the title. COD games have been crap since MW1
  • DizzyDial - March 17, 2011 7:08 p.m.

    My biggest complain is that Sqaure Enix is terrible, Squaresoft is where it's at.
  • MancisFrorkYorgan - March 17, 2011 6:38 p.m.

    I will always take issue with pre-planned DLC. It is morally wrong to withhold content you could have included in the original price. It's almost a sort of ransom. I hate being made to feel like I'm missing out just because I'm not willing to pay for content which should have been included with the hard copy of the game in the first place.
  • Cwf2008 - April 23, 2012 8:27 p.m.

    Morally wrong? Maybe. If you think that you're entitled to everything. Remember that this is a capitalist society and the developers need to make a living too
  • lilspooky - March 17, 2011 6:16 p.m.

    Glad we can come together, young or old, we can agree, We hate Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick!!
  • freakyfro99 - March 17, 2011 5:48 p.m.

    "Open minded" gamer isn't open minded, he just doesn't give a damn that he's getting generally screwed over or maybe doesn't know that things weren't always like this. The only part that really aggravates me is the DLC. DLC that unlocks everything is perfectly fine by me, maybe you don't have the time. Hell I know I don't have the time to unlock everything sometimes. The DLC that bothers me is the DLC that gets announced while the game is still in production, the DLC that isn't really DLC but that unlocks things that are ALREADY ON THE DISC. Some of it is ridiculous. Fighting games these days look like they're going to start gearing towards selling a bunch of characters through DLC as well when they could just be on the disc when you first buy the game. Gaming doesn't seem too expensive when you just look at the cost of the game, but you have to factor in all the crazy DLC that companies want you to get along with it, and that you pretty much have to get in order to get the most out of your game. I'm 21, even I knew that when I bought a game as a kid or even a teenager I was going to get the full experience of the game without shelling out and extra $10-$30.
  • NuclearXmas - March 17, 2011 5:22 p.m.

    CAPST3R speaks the truth
  • CAPST3R - March 17, 2011 5:12 p.m.

    These aren't the things we moan about! They are: EA/Activision's refusal to provide decent servers (BF excluded). COD. Everything within COD. Everyone who plays COD. The acronym COD (I genuinely hate it). Shortness of games. Lack of originality in games (FPSs in particular). Game-ruining changes in sequels (RF:G 3rd person). Lack of character development. Lack of variety in weapons/vehicles/settings. Over-priced DLC. Gimmicks (3D, Move, et cetera). Facebook on PS3 (and maybe 360, I don't know). The Wii. Activision. Treyarch. Sony keeping things secret for too long. Microsoft's bribery. Lacking polish/unfinished games (e.g TDU2). Out of date engines (Gamebryo-Fallout). Microphones (just plain hate the things). Gamers who don't play as a part of a team. ReCaptcha. All that, and I'm 15.
  • NuclearXmas - March 17, 2011 4:34 p.m.

    So basically, those who reject or oppose corporate gimmicks such as paying 5$ just to have prettier armor, or shelling out 1600 "Microsoft fun dollars" so you can unlock everything, are just "stupid old grandpa" gamers. And those who actually fall for the cheap marketing techniques are suave, intelligent gamers. This has to be one of the worst articles I've seen on gamesradar. The fact that you actually defend stupid gimmicks like DLC, pre-order bonuses, and motion controls. And for that matter do it by merely saying "those who buy DLC are cool, and those who don't are old losers!" is absolutely pathetic. What's even worse is that some people seem to agree with this article. The reality of it is that pre-order bonuses do nothing more but alienate players who never had a chance to get the game in the first place. While players who do have it quickly grow tired of it. And do you really believe you can justify selling DLC that merely unlocks content in the game is justifiable? I can understand why some DLC, like map packs and extra missions, would cost money. Big add-ons are strenuous projects that probably take a lot of time and effort to make. (E.X. The fallout 3 add-ons) But to charge for trivial shit that only makes your character look nice (E.X. Dead Space, Fable 3, Mass Effect 2, Oblivion, Skate, Castle Crashers, Dead Rising 2) is revolting, especially when you take into consideration the fact that most modders in the PC community will do similar/better stuff for free. Motion controls are, much like 3-D, a ploy. And even if it is a neat concept. Barely impacts gameplay in a positive way. And I don't care what microsoft says, the Kinect is in no way a "revolutionary technology", just a rediculously hyped and super expensive eyetoy. But as long as the publishers are the ones paying you to talk about their games. I'm sure the interest of actual gamers is of no real concern to you.
  • lawless77 - March 17, 2011 4:28 p.m.

    Maybe I'm not quite old enough to agree with the observations in this article. However, at 42, I likely an elder statesman of gaming, and in all honestly none of the points here resonated with me. Dark, desaturated visuals: I love dark, brooding games. The Fallout series, Bioshock, Dead Space, Metro 2033 and one of my all-time faves, STALKER, are all on my hit list. The bleaker and grittier, the better. DLC: I love DLC! If it's a game I really like, I'm thrilled to have more gameplay opened up to me. Fallout 3, Borderlands, Just Cause 2, Mass Effect; just a few I've titles who's DLC I've gobbled up. And having to pay for it doesn't bother me at all. As a gainfully employed adult, I've got money to spend on games and I don't mind doing so. FPS: Probably my favorite genre. I've played them all and am thrilled to see that they look better, play better and push the boundries of story-telling and creativity every year that goes by. And as for Bioshock; absolutely brilliant in my book. Online gaming and gamers: Here's where you're a little closer to the target. I don't play a whole lot of online multiplayer games. The reasons why I prefer a solid single-player game are legion and far too complicated to get into here. The point is that it has very little to do with my experiences with other gamers. One reason may be that while I own (and have owned) just about every major console there's ever been, I'm primarily a PC gamer. It just seems to me that one tends to find a more mature crowd in the PC pool than in the console arena. Motion controls: I've got a Wii and the Move. Tons of potential there, especially with the latter. I've got no issues here. Anything that's helping the medium to evolve is okay by me Bobby Kotick: Meh. Don't care too much either way. But yes, Activision were the heroes of alterna-gaming for me back in the 2600 days. 'Skiing', 'Barnstorming', 'Pitfall'...I used to love all the old Activision carts. So what do I moan about? You missed the big one: playing with a controller versus a mouse. This is a debate I have with my young nephews all the time. I've become spoiled by the precision of the mouse and playing a FPS with a controller feels to me like going into combat wearing mittens and a neck brace. I don't know how these kids do it. I don't mean to be over-critical here. It really was fun and engaging article. I just had to take a moment to bust some stereotypes.
  • StealthEagle - March 17, 2011 4:24 p.m.

    Fallout 3 and Viva Pinata? Why not? For LOL experience, I don't mind seeing post-apocalyptic sugary world for a moment. Anyway, back in the days, DLCs were called expansion packs, hell, they were full of contents enough to be called standalone games. I miss those days... Oh, and what's up with those (cheap) collector's editions for every single game on earth? The "Collector's" has been badly misused, and it's really sad.
  • Japanaman - March 17, 2011 4:19 p.m.

    And seriously, why can't more FPS look like Metroid Prime or Halo? Shooters are so UG-UL-LAY!!!
  • Japanaman - March 17, 2011 4:18 p.m.

    As an old Gamer, I have to agree with everything is article said. Motion controls are more difficult to use than standard controls schemes, DLC should be free since we already paid for the game so I never spend more than $2 on any DLC, I don't pre-order because you can often get pre-ordered video game stuff used super cheap down the road, little kids shouldn't play games reserved for seventeen year olds, and and I'm not paying to dress up avatars. I only pay to dress up brawny men in tights in WWE Smackdown. Or make naked women in SD! using GameSharks, Action Replays, Codebreakers, or really skilled coloring.

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