Bugger me. The 3DS is genuinely the most exciting bit of technology I’ve seen. Like ever. Honestly, the first time I got my hands on it and saw a certain fat plumber powerslide around a corner while pink petals appeared to fall out of the screen, it left me speechless. Although granted that might have had something to do with the twenty stupidly pretty Nintendo-branded woman who were showing the little machines off.
To properly gauge my level of excitement upon exiting Nintendo’s recent event in London, you should read this horribly giddy text I sent Dave H…
Above: Please note, any spelling and grammar-based
f*ck ups are entirely the fault of the 3DS’ awesomeness
Want to know why you should sell any non essential organs to buy one the minute the handheld hits the shops? Read below.
The 3D is amazing
I’m about to say something that makes me want to punch things (i.e. faces) when I hear it from other people, but it really ‘has to be seen to be believed’ <shudder>. As Brett mentioned during his hands-on at E3, staring into the handheld’s screen is like peering into a window. I was recently lucky enough to have £1500 pound’s worth of 46inch 3D TV in my house for a weekend. And I can confidently say the quality of the 3D on Nintendo’s pocket-sized wonder (admittedly, it would have to be a big pocket) matches it comfortably.
Not only does it give objects incredible depth and fidelity, but seeing the slider effect in action is like watching a magic trick… without all the borderline animal cruelty. Seriously, there’s some straight up voodoo shit going on under that sleek little hood. As I played around with the slider in Mario Kart, moving it up and down between 2D and 3D, I could actually appreciate the screen adding layers to the picture as I incrementally moved it up.
Above: Why hasn't mankind evolved to the point where I can show you 3D images of this little beauty on the internet? Stupid mankind
Highlights included panning the camera around Jill as she hung above an exploding elevator shaft during the Resident Evil Revelations trailer (that’s right, it’s all being rendered real time by the 3DS). Seeing the nitrous from Mario’s kart look like it was about to sandblast my face off as the flames jutted from the screen. And cooing over how solid Pilotwings Resort’s adorable plane was (it looked solid enough to reach into the screen and pick up).
The screen is sexy as hell
Screw 3D for a second. Lets just talk about the quality of the screen. It’s astonishing. Hugely crisp, vibrant and bright; to my untrained eye it’s every bit as sharp as the iPhone 4. Quite frankly, seeing games run on it embarrasses the PSP Go. Games look like they’re running in HD and the colours are nothing short of mesmerising.
Above: Mario Kart's bright colour palette looks gorgeous
The only slight downside is there’s a very pronounced dead zone for the 3D. Look at the screen square on and it’s fine. But tilt your head a little to the left or right and the effect immediately becomes blurry. Seriously, though, looking at a handheld dead on is natural anyway, so I don’t see this being a serious issue.