6 reasons why the 3DS is the most impressive piece of kit I’ve seen in 20 years of gaming

Bugger me. The 3DS is genuinely the most exciting bit of technology I’ve seen. Like ever. Honestly, the first time I got my hands on it and saw a certain fat plumber powerslide around a corner while pink petals appeared to fall out of the screen, it left me speechless. Although granted that might have had something to do with the twenty stupidly pretty Nintendo-branded woman who were showing the little machines off.

To properly gauge my level of excitement upon exiting Nintendo’s recent event in London, you should read this horribly giddy text I sent Dave H…

Above: Please note, any spelling and grammar-based
f*ck ups are entirely the fault of the 3DS’ awesomeness

Want to know why you should sell any non essential organs to buy one the minute the handheld hits the shops? Read below.

The 3D is amazing

I’m about to say something that makes me want to punch things (i.e. faces) when I hear it from other people, but it really ‘has to be seen to be believed’ <shudder>. As Brett mentioned during his hands-on at E3, staring into the handheld’s screen is like peering into a window. I was recently lucky enough to have £1500 pound’s worth of 46inch 3D TV in my house for a weekend. And I can confidently say the quality of the 3D on Nintendo’s pocket-sized wonder (admittedly, it would have to be a big pocket) matches it comfortably.

Not only does it give objects incredible depth and fidelity, but seeing the slider effect in action is like watching a magic trick… without all the borderline animal cruelty. Seriously, there’s some straight up voodoo shit going on under that sleek little hood. As I played around with the slider in Mario Kart, moving it up and down between 2D and 3D, I could actually appreciate the screen adding layers to the picture as I incrementally moved it up.

Above: Why hasn't mankind evolved to the point where I can show you 3D images of this little beauty on the internet? Stupid mankind

Highlights included panning the camera around Jill as she hung above an exploding elevator shaft during the Resident Evil Revelations trailer (that’s right, it’s all being rendered real time by the 3DS). Seeing the nitrous from Mario’s kart look like it was about to sandblast my face off as the flames jutted from the screen. And cooing over how solid Pilotwings Resort’s adorable plane was (it looked solid enough to reach into the screen and pick up).

The screen is sexy as hell

Screw 3D for a second. Lets just talk about the quality of the screen. It’s astonishing. Hugely crisp, vibrant and bright; to my untrained eye it’s every bit as sharp as the iPhone 4. Quite frankly, seeing games run on it embarrasses the PSP Go. Games look like they’re running in HD and the colours are nothing short of mesmerising.

Above: Mario Kart's bright colour palette looks gorgeous

The only slight downside is there’s a very pronounced dead zone for the 3D. Look at the screen square on and it’s fine. But tilt your head a little to the left or right and the effect immediately becomes blurry. Seriously, though, looking at a handheld dead on is natural anyway, so I don’t see this being a serious issue.

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  • Aletheon - January 20, 2011 11:05 p.m.

    Wankers that whine about the 3DS are truly sad human beings. Pull the stick out......
  • tifanity - December 14, 2010 9:54 p.m.

    This is something I am definitely buying on launch day.
  • AntiGuardian - December 12, 2010 11 a.m.

    I'm gonna get a refund for my Nintendo DSi.
  • robertogamboa - November 20, 2010 1:11 a.m.

    I really want the 3ds but im worried about the cost and i do not want to sell my dsi cuz i have alot of software what should i do??
  • BurntToShreds - October 20, 2010 7:11 p.m.

    I would be excited if it didn't come with 3D. The 3D is without a doubt one of the primary reasons for its price tag. It would probably be a lot cheaper if it didn't have the 3D tech. I would also like to see unique intellectual properties. So far we've seen nothing but sequels and remakes for the main roster. I would like to see some original games at launch.
  • sassyg14 - October 3, 2010 10:15 p.m.

    Now I really do have to buy this even if it is $300. Its just too freaken amazing.
  • jscriber100 - September 18, 2010 3:40 p.m.

    wow.first was the DS,then the DS lite,then the DSL,then the DSXL and now the 3DS.i don't think there's ever been that many versions of any modern many different DS's will nintendo create?
  • mrmorozov987 - August 30, 2010 11:43 p.m.

    @FrozenGhost Dick. Seriously, this does actually look pretty awesome. If I held it in my hands, I'd probably be salivating all over it like he is. That Mario Kart screenshot sure is purty.
  • thefreakysurgeon - August 26, 2010 8:50 p.m.

    the 3DS is going to be so good that Nintendo will sell over 9000 of 'em!
  • Spybreak8 - August 9, 2010 4:53 a.m.

    Yup I like
  • Defguru7777 - August 6, 2010 4:27 a.m.

    I honestly can't wait for this. The only problem I ever had with 3D was the glasses, and now that those are out of the picture, I couldn't be happier.
  • Octoboy - August 4, 2010 11:38 a.m.

    Two words: Virtual Boy.
  • Hotdiddykong - August 3, 2010 6:10 p.m.

    @JohnnyMaverik 1.its Nintendo get over it 2.your argument is invalid there's only two n64 remakes 3.casual and hardcore are overused words that mean nothing, most games arnt hardcore or casual rather a little of both 4.don't underestimate them, Nintendo knows when its serious and the 3ds has allot of things seperating from others, there's gonna tons of new stuff shouldn't be talking about what they have, when it comes to typeof games Nintendo has the most variety so don't just think you know what type of games are gonna be out. I didn't mean to attack you, your argument just has no reason to be agreed on
  • sleepy92ismypsn - August 3, 2010 6:05 p.m.

    How can you compare the 3ds stick with the 5 year old psp nub. Just wait til the psp2 is revealed. Gawd I hope it has a similar 3d slider effect. If not I will probably have to get both. So your saying it's not an HD handheld? I thought Nintendo would have learned to jump on the bandwagon after failing to with the wii. Still there is no way you can compare it to blu-ray. but still If they can have 3d games and 3d movies for $200 thats crazy and I don't see why companies charge so much for 3d tv's.
  • GameManiac - August 3, 2010 4:40 p.m.

    That's it for the PSP. Game Over, Sony. Everything about the 3D-in-your-face handheld is to be appraised, from the quality of the graphics, to the kick-ass games already being made for it. If March 2011 is when it comes out in America, then I've got myself set economically. I hope I can get one on opening day though. I love how people always have a good vibe from the 3D magic of Nintendo's new handheld.
  • Elementium - August 3, 2010 4:15 p.m.

    Nintendo always has and always will rock. Whether it's the gimmicky Wii (whose motion controls I DO NOT use) or their handhelds, they always impress.. I mean.. the Wii's Virtual console is worth the money in itself.. I've played Ogre Battle 64 more than my Xbox 360 games. The DSi is also fantastic.. once again because of the Downloadable games.. Photo Dojo is a riot and Flipnote Studio is absolutely amazing. So chances are even if the 3DS's gimmick hype dies down it will still be a solid system.
  • JohnnyMaverik - August 3, 2010 1:57 p.m.

    Well for me it'll all be based on whether Nintendo themselves can put out some interesting NEW ip's out on this thing. A couple of worthy old school names is welcome but looking at the line-up so far it's a whole load of N64 re-skins... typical fking Nintendo. Naturally there will be third party stuff but naturally it'll be aimed at a slightly more casual crowd, and will be the same old puzzle adventures and RPG's. Maybe we'll get a couple of interesting JRPG's out of it... but they're JRPG's, so the writing will most likely be 1/2 of the quality I could produce if you performed a c-section on my arse hole and asked me to write a poem in one minute with my own blood and shit on a wall, an I'm not even a particularly good writer. Tech sounds impressive, games sound like the same old same old.
  • milkmanallday - August 3, 2010 9:33 a.m.

    fuck 3d i'm skeptic about the 3ds i'm also not that impressed by the graphics, and shame on me but i liked the psp's nub better than the ds stylus, the only game on 3ds i've seen that looks appealing is the resident evil game (note:i am not a fanboy, i play everything from atari 2600 - turbografx-16 - pc so dont flame) *buys new psp*
  • WillisTron - August 3, 2010 7:42 a.m.

  • Hotdiddykong - August 3, 2010 7:39 a.m.

    @chickenfoot A fad? I'm sorry but Sony started the fad on their tvs and Nintendo is perfecting it, you sound like an obvious fanboy whose only argument is the amount of ds's, give up and face the fact that Nintendo isn't gonna stay below Microsoft and sony forever, when they get serious their fucking serious