Datas Inventions The Goonies (1985)
The Movie Invention: There’s no end to Data’s creativity when it comes to his inventions, which include a handy zip-line and a (somewhat malfunctioning) robo-punch.
What We’d Do With It: We’d wear that belt all day every day, just in case we find ourselves in need of a helping hand. Or corkscrew. Or zip-line.
Paulies Robot Rocky IV (1985)
The Movie Invention: Sort of looks like an alien, but is actually a mass of cogs and wheels, Paulie’s robot is a futuristic invention that helps Paulie around the house – and genuinely seems to care for him.
What We’d Do With It: Turn him into a slave, of course. That’s what robots are there for, right?
Time Machine The Time Machine (1960)
The Movie Invention: Built to resemble a large clock, H George Wells’ invention is the ultimate in kitsch time travel.
What We’d Do With It: We’d take a leaf out of Sheldon’s book in The Big Bang Theory and use it as a comfy living room chair.
Rebreather Thunderball (1965)
The Movie Invention: James Bond needn’t worry about drowning when he’s got this handy little device on him – it helps him breathe under water, and is considerably smaller than an oxygen tank.
What We’d Do With It: Become a mermaid.
Flying Cab The Fifth Element (1997)
The Movie Invention: A future taxi that has the ability to fly. In fact, it doesn’t even have wheels, that’s how often it touches tarmac.
What We’d Do With It: Make a fortune as the only flying cab in the world.
Heat Ray Gun War Of The Worlds (1953)
The Movie Invention: An incredibly powerful ray gun that can reduce anything to smouldering ash within seconds. We hadn’t a hope really, had we?
What We’d Do With It: Use it to do a spot of renovations on the house.
Golden Gun The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)
The Movie Invention: The weapon belonging to assassin Francisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee).
What We’d Do With It: Use it as a coffee table ornament – that’s what it looks like anyway, right?
Continuous Orgasm Loop Brainstorm (1983)
The Movie Invention: The Hat, a computer that records the pleasurable sensations experienced by an individual’s brain onto tape for others to enjoy. One rather clever individual, Gordo (Jordan Christopher), creates a tape that’s one continuous orgasm – enough to nearly kill somebody.
What We’d Do With It: Bit obvious, isn’t it?
Esper Photo Analyser Blade Runner (1982)
The Movie Invention: A clever contraption that is able to zoom into a photograph to give an impossible close-up. Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) uses it when he’s hunting for clues.
What We’d Do With It: Become a futuristic detective. Or work for Heat ’s ‘ring of shame’ department. Both would be awesome.
Machine Gun Leg Planet Terror (2007)
The Movie Invention: Had your leg chewed off my zombies? No worries – you can become an awesome freedom fighter by having a machine gun attached to your stump.
What We’d Do With It: Hobble slightly, probably.
Face Swapping Face/Off (1997)
The Movie Invention: Technology that means you can entirely change your face. Nic Cage changes his so that he looks like John Travolta. Don’t ask why.
What We’d Do With It: Get Brad Pitt’s face, obv.
Transporter Star Trek: The Movie (1979)
The Movie Invention: The one thing every commuter dreams of having – a fancy machine that transports you to a pre-determined destination in the blink of an eye. Or, in Star Trek , a swirl of pretty lights.
What We’d Do With It: See the world! Travel the globe! Or just pop down the corner shop…
Lightcycles Tron: Legacy (2010)
The Movie Invention: A pair of wheels to rival even the DeLorean as coolest movie vehicle, the Lightcycles are a computer-bound mode of transportation mostly used during duels.
What We’d Do With It: Cruise around the neighbourhood, naturally, with Daft Punk thundering from the custom speakers.
Rags The Robotic Dog Sleeper (1973)
The Movie Invention: Monotonous, repetitive but massively loveable, Rags barks at a noticeably human timbre and, let’s face it, it’s cute as a button.
W hat We’d Do With It: Treat him like the real dog that we’re not allowed to have in our city digs.
NZT Pills Limitless (2011)
The Movie Invention: Pills that give you access to 100% of your brain's capacity (instead of the market standard 20%). Which, essentially, means you can become really, really clever.
What We’d Do With It: Take them to increase our intelligence, then use that intelligence to take over the world. Muwahahaha.
Stargate Stargate (1994)
The Movie Invention: A frankly humungous ring that acts as a portal across the galaxy. Looks wet when activated.
What We’d Do With It: Check out Mars firsthand (with spacesuit, obv) and look for signs of Martian life. Or John Carter.
Phone Booth Bill & Teds Excellent Adventure (1989)
The Movie Invention: A snazzy time machine as used by Bill and Ted to do research for their history project.
What We’d Do With It: Something similar – what’s not to love about going back in time to meet your historical heroes? We hear Napoleon actually wasn’t that short…
Hofmann Lenses They Live (1988)
The Movie Invention: Sunglasses that expose hidden messages – and the hidden faces of invading aliens who’ve set up camp on Earth without anyone noticing.
What We’d Do With It: Use them to expose all politicians as evil aliens. Obviously, right?
Shrinking Machine Honey, I Shrunk The Kids (1989)
The Movie Invention: Put together by Wayne Szalinski (Rick Moranis), the shrinking machine does exactly that. Furniture, fruit, your kids, everything gets zapped down to an nth of its original size.
What We’d Do With It: Make our shopping last years by shrinking down every time we have a meal. One Cheerio O could last us months.
Atom Real Steel (2011)
The Movie Invention: A sentient robot built to be a boxer. Rescued from a dump heap by Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman), he’s large and in charge. Take that, Transformers.
What We’d Do With It: Hire him out to clubs as a no-nonsense bouncer.
Traffic Light Gum Mission: Impossible (1996)
The Movie Invention: James Bond doesn’t get all the cool gadgets. Here, Ethan (Tom Cruise) uses a bit of chewing gum to change traffic lights then cause a massive explosion – just by chomping on it.
What We’d Do With It: One thing we won’t be doing is swallowing.
POV Gun The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (2005)
The Movie Invention: Created by Deep Thought, this handy weapon looks like a killing machine, but actually lets the shootee see the shooter’s perspective on things. Handy.
What We’d Do With It: Finally fulfil our dream of world peace – this is surely the only thing that’d do it.
Breakfast-Making Machine Pee-Wees Big Adventure (1985)
The Movie Invention: Too lazy to make your own breakfast? So is Pee-Wee, who’s come up with this handy contraption, which cooks him eggs, toast and waffles every single morning – all just by lighting a candle. Superb.
What We’d Do With It: Never make breakfast ourselves again. Thanks Pee-Wee!
Cloaking Device Predator (1987)
The Movie Invention: A clever bit of kit that makes the wearer almost completely invisible – as used by the ET Predator that Arnie battles.
What We’d Do With It: There’s no end to the usefulness of this gadget – you could become a spy, a thief – or simply get five minutes peace from the kids by sitting invisible in a corner.
Golf Bag Caddyshack (1980)
The Movie Invention: Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield) drags around the kind of golf bag that any golfer would give their left leg for. It comes equipped with a stereo (that plays Journey), a remote-control club ejector and a beer keg. Yes, a beer keg.
What We’d Do With It: Make golf fun.
Fast Learning The Matrix (1999)
The Movie Invention: “I know kung fu.” Thanks to the power of The Matrix, it’s possible to plug knowledge direct into your brain without the annoying necessity of having to spend hours learning it.
What We’d Do With It: Enrich our lives by learning 20 languages, the square root of Pi and how to fly a jet. Plus kung fu, of course.
Dino Tech Jurassic Park (1993)
The Movie Invention: Dreamt up by Michael Crichton in his novel, this handy procedure resurrects dinosaurs in the modern day. (Sadly, it was disproved by clever scientists. Humph.)
What We’d Do With It: Make ourselves a raptor to protect our back garden from thieves.
Huey, Louie and Dewey Silent Running (1972)
The Movie Invention: Three service robots aboard an American Airline space freighter. They befriend botanist Freeman Lowell (Bruce Dern), who names them after animated ducks. They attempt to help him to save his precious, space-bound forest.
What We’d Do With Them: They’d be the friends we never had. Who needs humans when you’ve got Huey, Louie and Dewey?
Batpod The Dark Knight (2008)
The Movie Invention: Batman’s newest set of wheels, the Batpod ejects from the Tumbler when it’s rendered near useless, and is a nimble vehicle that can dodge and weave with the best of them.
What We’d Do With It: Ride it wearing our Batman costume.
Dejarik Star Wars (1977)
The Movie Invention: “Let the Wookie win!” Chewie doesn’t like losing at Dejarik, but even if you’re losing, this is one of the coolest board games ever, replete with animated holographic pieces.
What We’d Do With It: Uh, play Dejarik. But never with a Wookie.
Wall-E Wall-E (2008)
The Movie Invention: An adorable little robot whose sole purpose is to do the cleaning. In Wall-E , he’s been left on an abandoned Earth shifting through all the rubbish we humans left behind.
What We’d Do With It: Keep him as a house-trained pet. And let him watch Hello Dolly! as many times as he wants.
Iron Mans Suit Iron Man (2008)
The Movie Invention: Lifted straight from the pages of Marvel Comics, Iron Man’s super-suit is a gadget-lover's wet dream, equipped with rockets and the ability to ‘fly’, among other things.
What We’d Do With It: Er, become a superhero.
Wonka Vision Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (1971)
The Movie Invention: A television. No, really a television – except this one lets you pluck items out of it. So if there’s an ad for a chocolate bar, you can just reach into the TV and take one for yourself…
What We’d Do With It: Wrack up a huge amount of debt on our credit card…
Wardrobe Selecter Clueless (1995)
The Movie Invention: Used by fashion icon Cher (Alicia Silverstone) to make sure she never has a wardrobe malfunction.
What We’d Do With It: Turn ourselves into fashion icons. Of course, we’d need a small fortune to deck the wardrobe out in the first place…
Pasiv Dream Machine Inception (2010)
The Movie Invention: A simple-looking device that makes it possible for you to enter somebody else’s dreams, and manipulate them to your liking.
What We’d Do With It: Enter the dreams of somebody we really fancy, then make them think they can’t live without us. Happily ever after…
Invisibility Serum Hollow Man (2000)
The Movie Invention: A special kind of serum that’s injected into the body and makes you entirely invisible – for some unknown reason, it works from the outside in.
What We’d Do With It: Make our siblings think they’ve lost their minds by dangling objects in front of them. Ah, we do love a good fake haunting.
Memory Implanter Total Recall (1990)
The Movie Invention: Give yourself a holiday you’ll always remember – but that you never actually went on. The Memory Implanter creates new memories in your brain in exchange for cash.
What We’d Do With It: Implant memories of our time as a successful supermodel, then reminisce to our heart’s content.
Game Pods eXistenZ (1999)
The Movie Invention: Virtual reality game consoles known as ‘game pods’. In true Cronenbergian fashion, players plug the console into their spines using an umbilical cord and enter an alternate virtual reality.
What We’d Do With It: Cast ourselves as freedom fighters with really cool weapons.
Hoverboard Back To The Future Part II (1989)
The Movie Invention: A futuristic skateboard that does exactly what it says on the tin. Just don’t try to use it over water - you might get a bit wet.
What We’d Do With It: Show the kids down on the South Bank how it’s really done.
Universal Remote Click (2006)
The Movie Invention: Control everything around you with your TV’s remote control! Pause, play, fast-forward. Everybody wishes they had one of these. Come on Apple, sort it out.
What We’d Do With It: Pause the world during deadline. Fast-forward our mother-in-law’s inane babble…
Teleporter The Fly (1986)
The Movie Invention: Invented by Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum), this handy device is great for getting somewhere fast without having to catch any transport. Just don’t go in it with an insect.
What We’d Do With It: Torture our enemies by putting them in the teleporter with different animals.
Proton Packs Ghostbusters (1984)
The Movie Invention: Made specifically for the purpose of ghost-catching, the proton packs send out a jet of electricity that snags annoying phantoms. Warning: if you’ve got more than one, don’t ever let the streams cross.
What We’d Do With It: Become a Ghostbuster! Duh.
Avatars Avatar (2009)
The Movie Invention: A fully-grown alien body that’s mixed with your human DNA. With a little help from a technological whosit, you can project your mind into the alien body.
What We’d Do With It: Live out a Sim-like second life on another planet. Well, it beats this one.
The FLDSMDFR Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (2009)
The Movie Invention: The Floyd Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicato, or simply FLDSMDFR, which uses microwave radiation to transform water into food. Amazing.
What We’d Do With It: Feed the world. Aren’t we nice?
T-800 The Terminator (1984)
The Movie Invention: A futuristic cyborg that can be programmed to target and kill just about anybody. Has a jaw like granite and an iron grip.
What We’d Do With It: Use him as the ultimate one-liner machine – this guy’s got them coming out his ears.
Lotus Esprit The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
The Movie Invention: James Bond’s niftiest pair of wheels by a long shot, the Lotus Esprit turns into a submarine when it hits water.
What We’d Do With It: Who needs the ferry? We’d much rather travel this way. As Sebastian sings in The Little Mermaid , it’s better where it’s wetter.
The Neuralizer Men In Black (1997)
The Movie Invention: Used by the Men In Black to wipe short term memories of encounters with aliens. Spookily plausible.
What We’d Do With It: Use it to win arguments down the pub by erasing our mates’ memories of what we were actually talking about.
Rocket Pack The Rocketeer (1991)
The Movie Invention: Inspired by the comics, of course, but brought to life in the movie version. It’s essentially a jetpack with added power.
What We’d Do With It: Beat the rush hour commute by using the overground – literally.
Lightsabre Star Wars (1977)
The Movie Invention: A futuristic sword, to be honest, used by Jedi Knights and Sith Lords. Makes a lovely electrical humming sound.
What We’d Do With It: Fight our mortal enemies. And slice the pork on Sundays.
DeLorean Back To The Future (1985)
The Movie Invention: Doc Brown’s hellacool time machine on wheels, which comes with its own flux capacitor and breaks the time barrier whenever it gets up to 88mph.
What We’d Do With It: Nip back in time whenever we’ve said something that’s upset the missus. We’re gonna need a lot of Plutonium…