Skip to main content

Flash game freebie: Death Row Diner

Let’s not beat around the bush. This hilarious flash game is basically a re-skinned Diner Dash with knife fights, which is why we absolutely can’t get enough of it. Not only are you the “culinary director” for a particularly rowdy bunch of death row inmates, you’re also one badass, cig smoking, spoon wielding, apron toting granny with a major attitude. Dishing out the grub to murderous thugs in Death Row Diner is messy business, especially when they get pissed and start shanking the hell out of one another.

Like Diner Dash, you’ll serve a medley of colorful cuisine to customers that march up to your food counter. You’ll seat them at one of the available tables in your fine establishment, and then you’ll clean up after them when they’re finished. You can queue up strings of tasks and earn extra points for building up repeated chains. However, these patrons don’t leave tips when they’re done. They leave pools of blood. Each gang has its own quirks. Some eat faster than others, some prefer meat over slop, and some have extremely short fuses.

If you don’t serve them quickly enough, they get agitated, and start trying to kill each other. If too many of them die, it’s game over. Whacking the brawling brutes aside the noggin before they wind up dead is the only way to break things up, and you’ll have to mop up all the blood afterwards before other inmates will want to sit down and eat at the table. Visits from the warden, the addition of multiple flavors of slop, and other added elements ramp up the action. When all else fails, you can always pass out porno magazines to keep the inmates occupied while you juggle all the kitchen craziness. Death Row Diner is absolutely warped, which is what makes the ridiculous twist on the classic time management gameplay so awesome. Check it outhereat Adult Swim.

Jul 15, 2010