The Top 7... Worst Parts of Best Games

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The most criminal imperfections of all time

The best parts: Red shells; green shells; mushrooms; bananas; stars.

The WORST part: BLUE SHELL

You're in first place. You've nailed every curve, dodged every obstacle, capitalized on every power up and kept every other racer firmly in your rearview mirror. You haven't committed a single mistake in three straight laps. You're perfect... but, in the world of Mario Kart, you're the most vulnerable player on the track.

Why? Because the blue shell is waiting... waiting to utterly obliterate every ounce of your hard work in one infuriating instant. The blue shell is more than an item that automatically targets the racer in first place. The blue shell is an item that punishes winners, while giving an unearned advantage to losers. The blue shell is an item that favors random luck over practice and skill. The blue shell is Nintendo at its worst, emphasizing dumbed-down family fun with Little Timmy and Grandpa over honest-to-goodness gaming.

Seriously, what other title penalizes you for doing well? What other life experience teaches you that being the best... is bad? What if Mario Kart's twisted logic was applied to any other competition? The idea is ludicrous:

Dishonorable mention: What's worse than being done in at the last minute by a spiny winged turtle appendage? Try losing because the AI magically erased the distance between you and your computer opponents. Rubber banding blows.

For more Top 7 countdowns, browse our Top 7 Compendium.

Hear more about this article in TalkRadar.

Jun 16, 2008

Charlie Barratt
Charlie Barratt
I enjoy sunshine, the company of kittens and turning frowns upside down. I am also a fan of sarcasm. Let's be friends!