Grand Theft Auto IV: Special Edition

Yeah, you%26rsquo;ve probably seen people showing off their cellophaned GTA IV boxes, holding them aloft like they were proud parents or Olympic medal recipients. But this is for realz! Bonafide, even. A few of you have already gotten your sticky little fingers all over the Special Edition, so you already know the excitement currently radiating through the GR offices on this momentous day of days. Please, won%26rsquo;t you join us in celebrating Christmas in late-April by partaking in this visual fangasm. Contained within this classy monolith of retail -A medium sized duffel bag -A black metal Lock-box -Rockstar keyring w/ lockbox keys (natch) -The Music of Grand Theft Auto IV soundtrack -The Art of Grand Theft Auto IV hardcover book -Umm... Oh! The game. Totally playable. The duffel bag comes folded inside the box, though, it does expand into a medium-sized, single-compartment satchel with a dignified gold interlay, adorned with lightning bolt and Rockstar pattern. Kinda small, so it won%26rsquo;t take the place of your current back pack. But, it is roomy enough to squeeze in your console of choice or up 2.5 severed heads. The black metal lockbox is probably the prize of the collection. Heaven forfend -a piece of gaming schwag that has a functional purpose! Roomy enough to hide numerous unmentionables; perfect for all manner of pot and pr0n. Fat kids will find it an optimalSnickers sanctuary, though stumblebums should mind the keyring. Injuries related to people falling on their keys is not something Rockstar needs right now. We love the hardbound The Art of Grand Theft Auto IV book, but it's definitely a for-uber-fans-only kind ofthing. You've got 50+ pages generously packed with inside skinny, wireframe models, concept sketches and previously unseen character and car art. This book should find a good home atop many a toilet tank. Well maybe notthose ceiling-high, pull chain "Loos"over in the UK. (Sorry blokes.) Above:[Some of] The Music of Grand Theft Auto IV As for The Music of Grand Theft Auto IV, we'd put "The" in quotations. It%26rsquo;s not that we don%26rsquo;t appreciate it, but with 16 tracks, they%26rsquo;rejust barely scratching the surface with "Some"of the sounds that accompany the mayhem in Liberty City. GTA technicali-crats will no doubt take issue with the lack of any Parental Advisory label, as the disc is laced with beautifully explict profanity. Very hip-hop centric. Scope 'dis, yo: 1. Michael Hunter %26ldquo;Soviet Connection (GTA IV Theme)%26rdquo; 2. Mobb Deep f/ Havok %26amp; Prodigy from H.N.I.C. Part 2 Sessions %26ldquo;Dirty New Yorker" 3.The Rapture %26ldquo;No Sex For Ben%26rdquo; 4.Munger %26ldquo;No Fraid A%26rdquo; 5.Busta Rhymes %26ldquo;Where's My Money%26rdquo; 6.C.J. %26ldquo;I Want You%26rdquo; 7. Joe Walsh %26ldquo;Rocky Mountain Way%26rdquo; 8.Bob Marley %26amp; The Wailers and Damian Marley %26ldquo;Stand Up Jamrock%26rdquo; 9.Seryoga %26ldquo;Liberty City: The Invasion%26rdquo; 10.Greenskeepers %26ldquo;Vagabond%26rdquo; 11. Electrik Funk %26ldquo;On A Journey%26rdquo; 12. Qadir %26ldquo;Nickname%26rdquo; 13. David Axelrod %26ldquo;Holy Thursday%26rdquo; 14. Nas %26ldquo;War Is Necessary%26rdquo; 15. Fela Kuti %26ldquo;Zombie%26rdquo; 16. Global Communication %26ldquo;5:23 (Maiden Voyage)%26rdquo; Above: *SPLORGE!* ---*---*---*--- Page Break : page break 0 ---*---*---*---More specific to we lucky so-and-so%26rsquo;s in the gaming beeswax,today's deluge of GTA schwag has left our office in pleasant shambles. We%26rsquo;re no braggarts -we do give a lot of this stuff away, after all. But we thought we%26rsquo;d show it off, this being a day of infinite relevance. %26lsquo;Tis undeniably cool, no? Above: Mikel Reparaz, opening genuine LCPD gear, while looking deceptively unexcited. (Look closely -you'll seea pee-pee stain) Above: Matty Keast poses with a GTA IV graphite pool cue. Takeit in now, before it's covered in hillbilly blood Above: Amanda Glasser hoisting our brand new Grand Theft Dartboard. When this is all over, we can finally get back to throwing sharp objects Above: Stickuurz!Who want? Above: Ahhh... the first thing the tired and poor see upon entering Liberty City: The Statue of Happiness. And peep the background for a Niko license plate, Swingers novelty foam shocker (perfect for any occasion), and Tw@ Internet C@fe mouse pad What, you think we're in this business for the money? (AHAHAHAHA... cont.) But if you'd like a giant stack o' GTA IV stickers, like the onesseen above,head on over toour forums to win some. Creep along to the next page for some glimpses at GTA stuff even we can't get a hold of anymore. ---*---*---*--- Page Break : page break 1 ---*---*---*---These industry-only items are the most collectible GTA memorabilia in existence. Cast an eye over these... and another over eBay... The handy little branded matchbooks aresexy in a low key way. But use will only spoil them... oh the irony. Never mind subtlety for this one- and why are promotional T-shirts always so huge? Do they think we%26rsquo;re all fat for some reason? Subtly-branded brown paper bag. Classy. Nothing says GTA IV like... a pizza box. Sadly, it only contained more junk. The infamous Burger Shot tee. Subtleand garish simultaneously. Coasters! Skins! Is there nothing Rockstarisn%26rsquo;t capable of logo-ing up for our evening%26rsquo;s entertainment? Wear this while ram-raidingWal-mart andit%26rsquo;ll be a cinch to blame games for yourbehavior. Apr 29, 2008