Try not to get any creative ideas about all the clones in The Alters, 11 bit studios' sci-fi survival game about escaping a hostile planet with help from alternate versions of yourself: it's never going to be sexy, devs say.
After Windows Central editor Jez Corden boldly inquired as to "why can't I romance my Alters to de-stress?" on Twitter, 11 bit studios made it clear on The Alters' official account, saying "Yo this ain't [Mass Effect], my guy, put the flirt gun down."
"But would it be called masturbating or having a relationship?" philosophized another fan, to which The Alters responded with a photo of a yellow sign warning of "DANGER WRONG WAY TURN BACK."
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"Yeah, yeah," said an exasperated The Alters player. "Sex Update when?"
Never, apparently. The Alters went so far as to respond with a Rick & Morty GIF to a player insisting the Jan Miner clone "was offering me a helping hand." If a Rick & Morty GIF isn't definitively sexless to you, I don't know what else to say.
I just think, if you want to experience adventure on a, perhaps, more intimate level than you can in The Alters, you'll need to play BioWare's Mass Effect.
Nearly 20 years before The Alters, Mass Effect provided a similarly emotionally hefty, sci-fi experience – though it sometimes included subtle sex scenes considered controversial at the time.
And for what it's worth, I'd consider having a relationship with your clone more "self-discovery" than anything.
The Alters has changed the way I play games for the better, and after 18 years I can finally finish Mass Effect.
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