Microsoft CEO channels inner Fallout boss to say 9,000 layoffs are no big deal because "we're investing more," then AI brain hits: "Imagine if all 8 billion people could summon a researcher, an analyst, or a coding agent at their fingertips"

Weeks after Microsoft insiders claimed the company had the choice to either reduce its spending on AI technology or obliterate its workforce, CEO Satya Nadella seems to be defending its decision in a new memo sent to employees.

According to a blog posted on the Microsoft website, Nadella assuages remaining workers that – despite the fact that 9,000 people, including thousands at Xbox, lost their jobs to this month's layoffs – "Microsoft is thriving."

"We're investing more in [capital expenditure] than ever before," he writes. "Our overall headcount is relatively unchanged, and some of the talent and expertise in our industry and at Microsoft is being recognized and rewarded at levels never seen before," echoing Microsoft Gaming CEO Phil Spencer's awkward admission to laid off employees that "our platform, hardware, and game roadmap have never looked stronger."

"And yet, at the same time, we've undergone layoffs," admits Nadella. This, apparently, is "the enigma of success," and it must be encountered to get to Microsoft's true love – AI.

"Just imagine," Nadella writes wistfully, "if all 8 billion people could summon a researcher, an analyst, or a coding agent at their fingertips, not just to get information but use their expertise to get things done that benefit them.

"And consider how organizations, empowered with AI, could unlock entirely new levels of agility and innovation by transforming decision-making, streamlining operations, and enabling every team to achieve more together than ever before." Oh, God.

Microsoft reportedly doesn't include lost first-party game sales when calculating Xbox Game Pass profits, but the subscription service is apparently earning money regardless.