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Biker Mice from Mars [import] review

Motorcycle emptiness with some manic squeak creatures


  • Fun for a while
  • Fight music
  • Punching cats in the face


  • Racing is broken
  • Fun doesn't last long
  • Face-punching gets old

Konami%26rsquo;s 1994 Biker Mice on the SNES was not a bad motorbike racing game. It%26rsquo;s a shame, then, that the racing element is the one part of this new DS game that%26rsquo;s entirely broken. You steer left and right on the 3D course with the D-pad, while holding down A to accelerate and B to boost. Note: boost is a Martian word meaning %26ldquo;achieve speeds it%26rsquo;s impossible to steer at.%26rdquo;

Making subtle moves with the D-pad is unfeasible, which is especially annoying on levels where you have to avoid multiple rows of landmines laid by the evil cat monsters. You chase these feline foes - they%26rsquo;re called Catatonians - throughout the racing levels, and destroying them gives you extra seconds of play time, seconds you%26rsquo;ll desperately need in order to make up for the atrocity of the steering controls. The only up-side is being able to pick up two kinds of missiles, each mapped to a shoulder button, which you must use to blow up the cats. Nice.

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DescriptionBiker Mice isn't great, but this DS racer is a briefly amusing distraction.