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Can anyone explain how the hell THIS happens in Resident Evil Revelations? *SPOILERS*

Quint and his buddy Keith are clearly meant to provide some comic relief as the game switches to them at several intervals throughout the story. They end up in a landing strip facility, attempting to transfer data at a computer terminal... when a bomber shows up and obliterates them. They even 'fade to white' which is indicative of either A) a nuclear blast (which it isn't... but near enough) or B) a merciful censoring of a very messy death for two characters you're supposed to like very much. You know, cos one of them is a bit of a geek and talks in a Nyoo Yoik accent.

Because this happens:

Above: Talk about overkill. That's approximately six HUGE bombs for each square foot of the facility

It's an even more obvious death than Parker's. Even Chief O'Brian, who loses radio contact with the pair in the explosion, has this to say:

Above: I know. Now you're never going to receive that file...

But wait! What's this in the end sequence a couple of hours later?

Above: Black smoke? Snow-covered terrain? Two figures of comically differing body language?

It can't be! It only freakin' IS!

Above: It's Quint and Keith!

What incredible luck! I mean, who could have foreseen that one bomb would blow open the end of the warehouse they were standing in, the next would blow the roof off, then (due to the plane dropping them flying by at enough speed to sustain altitude while delivering its payload at approximately one unit per second-and-a-half) a third bomb would fall through the exploderised roof and detonate at the opposite end from where Quint and Keith were standing, blowing them clean across the room, out through the first hole and safely into the clutches of the baby-soft snow. Phew!

No wonder they're blackened with soot - they had a real narrow escape from death's icy clutches there. And look - Quint's clearly enthusing about their sheer dumb luck, no doubt with some likable New York mannerisms thrown in. If anything, they deserve promotions now that everyone's so glad they're still alive. But surely Quint wants to be more involved in the action. Right? HE wouldn't want to move up to middle management, would he? Oh, hang on...

Above: Thought so, the little scamp! However, what the ending doesn't tell you is that seeing as he was covered in ash after the incident, his friends started to call him 'Ash' as a nickname. And, as a mark of respect for his partner and buddy Keith, Quint changed the 'C' in his name to a 'K'. He also started a new, safer pastime of catching rare wildlife and battling them against each other, calling them 'Pocket Monsters'. The weirdo

So, that's that. Everyone lived happily ever after - or at least long enough to potentially appear as a back-up cast in Resident Evil 6, which is probably the reason for the dramatic and totally implausible U-turn in the plot. I mean, think about it - Parker was saved by Raymond... who himself had been shot by Jessica. Wait... Jessica? Parker? Jessica Parker? Give me a break. That's even worse than the Claire Danes, Leonardo Di Caprio thing that inspired Resi 2's main cast.

Stop the world, I want to get off...

Justin worked on the GamesRadar+ staff for 10 whole years. Imagine that. Now he is a contributor, specialising in racing games, retro, and Sanic.