Arctic Tale review

Hunting the boring, frozen wastes


  • Play as favorite animals
  • Great sound effects
  • Kids might like it


  • Graphics are frozen poop
  • Slooooow pacing
  • Boring
  • insignifigant gameplay

The problem with David Attenborough documentaries is that it’s always so hard to figure out who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. Can you still root for the adorable, whale-attacked seal even after you’ve watched it maim an innocent penguin father of two? Anyhow, in this, another National Geographic film tie-in, you get to play as a polar bear, arctic fox and walrus, and must go on the hunt in a graphically poor snowy and icy environment. That’s it.

There’s only one reason to play this game. As a walrus or bear, you’re unable to hunt and kill the super-speedy arctic hares. The fox is the only animal quick enough to do it, and the moment of blood-spattering horror is denoted in-game by a noise that sounds like a heavyweight boxer pounding an opponent’s gut. Aw look, there’s another little bunny running across the BAM!!! Mummy, mummy, can we go and play with the cute little THWHAAACK!!! Look mummy, this one looks like Hazel from Watership BUHWHACKKKKKKKKO!!! Funny stuff. Awful game.

Mar 13, 2008

More Info

DescriptionAs our environment continues its decline, we may look back one day and fondly remember what snow was and all the cute animals that lived in it. This game, however, will be long forgotten, if you remembered it at all.
PlatformWii, DS, GBA
US censor ratingEveryone
Release date8 October 2007 (US), 1 January 1970 (UK)