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Season Of The Witch
Priest
The Bad Movie: Vampire slayer Priest (Paul Bettany) goes rogue to hunt a new vamp army, as Bettany achieves a two-fer of lame action-horror with Legion director Scott Stewart.
How To Make It Better: The line separating the amazing from the awful is so hard to judge in this genre, but casting unlucky charm Cam Gigandet (making the first of three appearances in the top 10) would probably help.
Age Of The Dragons
The Bad Movie: Moby Dick , if Ahab was a bored Danny Glover and the whale was a piss-poor CGI dragon.
How To Make It Better: Hey, isn't it about time Moby Dick got a decent adaptation? Plenty of great directors have got their sea legs - Peter Weir, Ridley Scott... Hell, even James Cameron could do it in 3D.
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
The Bad Movie: Not content with annoying everyone as undercover alter-ego Big Momma, now Malcolm Turner (Martin Lawrence) has dragged step-son Trent into the fray.
How To Make It Better: We're clutching at straws here, but at least Paul Giamatti was in the first Big Momma's House . Bringing him back would raise the film's IQ by a few points.
Beastly
The Bad Movie: A witch inflicts pretty boy Alex Pettyfer with an uglifying curse in a modern-day reworking of Beauty And The Beast with a somewhat flawed approach to its 'inner beauty' message.
How To Make It Better: Age it up. There's certainly scope to tell this story in a contemporary setting, but courting the shallow tween demographic undercuts any thought of substance.
The Three Musketeers
The Bad Movie: In which Paul W.S. Anderson takes one look at Alexandre Dumas' classic adventure, and thinks that what it needs more of is a load of airships and his missus' cleavage in ogletastic 3D.
How To Make It Better: Clearly, they should have used dogs instead of humans. Muskahounds are always ready.
Midgets Vs Mascots
The Bad Movie: The late Gary Coleman headlines a bad taste farce in which the vertically challenged compete with sporting mascots to win a porn dwarf's inheritance. Makes Ricky Gervais' latest look like the peek of human kindness.
How To Make It Better: Possibly, at a push, this mockumentary could be used to highlight the public's prejudice towards the midgets. But it would require a squad of the world's greatest satirists to make it work.
Zookeeper
The Bad Movie: Animals (including Adam Sandler as Donald the monkey) try to talk - literally talk - their zookeeper (Kevin James) into staying. That's the only joke.
How To Make It Better: You can Doolittle to improve this, but it'd probably help if you didn't use performing animals that are allegedly abused by their trainers.
The Roommate
The Bad Movie: Sara (Minka Kelly) finds out that new roommate Rebecca (Leighton Meester) is a Psycho . Sorry, that should read: Rebecca is a Single White Female .
How To Make It Better: Change the premise, so that Rebecca's craziness is caused by the fact that Sara's best friend is played by Cam Gigandet.
Trespass
The Bad Movie: An unhappy couple (Nics Cage & Kidman) are held hostage by a gang (including Cam Gigandet) apparently on the prowl for as many home invasion movie clichés as they can find.
How To Make It Better: Nic Cage apparently delayed production with a plea to change roles from victim to kidnapper. It might have been more interesting if he'd played both roles, a la Adaptation .
