50 Worst Movie Taglines

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By published

Soundbites of sorrow

The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants (2005)

What They Should Have Done: It's all in the jeans.

The Flesh Eaters (1964)

The Tagline: The only people who will not be STERILIZED with FEAR are those among you who are already DEAD!

Why It's Terrible: Weirdest cinema audience ever.

What They Should Have Done: Mankind is on the menu.

Kangaroo Jack (2003)

The Tagline: He stole the money … and he’s not giving it back.

Why It's Terrible: No thief, marsupial or otherwise, tends to give back their ill-gotten gains, so it's a weird thing to make a big deal out of.

What They Should Have Done: He'll have you hopping mad.

The Tenant (1976)

The Tagline: Nobody does it to you like Roman Polanski.

Why It's Terrible: …as Samantha Geimer was to discover in 1977.

What They Should Have Done: Would you rent your apartment to this man?

Shrek The Third (2007)

The Tagline: The wait is ogre.

Why It's Terrible: It isn't simply that this pun doesn't make sense, it's the fact that nobody seems to have realised the second pun that will make it work.

What They Should Have Done: The weight is ogre.

Secretariat (2010)

The Tagline: The impossible true story.

Why It's Terrible: Well, which is it? Impossible, or true? It can't be both.

What They Should Have Done: Beat the odds. Break the record.

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1994)

The Tagline: Based on the story 'Children of the Corn' by Stephen King.

Why It's Terrible: Always tread carefully when the tagline reads like a game of Six Degrees of Separation. Also, writing Stephen King's name in a scary font makes it look like a smudge from a distance.

What They Should Have Done: He Who Walks Behind The Rows Now Lives On Your Block.

Octopussy (1983)

The Tagline: Nobody does it better … thirteen times.

Why It's Terrible: This was conceived as a retort to rival 007 Never Say Never Again , but unless you know this is the 13th official Bond movie, you'll spend forever trying to do the sums. Octopus - 8 limbs. Bond - 4 limbs. No, sorry, can't figure out what the 13th thing is. Bond's cock?

What They Should Have Done: Her tentacles will have you on tenterhooks.

A*P*E (1976)

The Tagline: Not to be confused with King Kong.

Why It's Terrible: A shameless attempt at reverse psychology that instead reads like a legal disclaimer.

What They Should Have Done: Don't be a chimp. Go Ape.

Suspiria (1977)

The Tagline: The Only Thing More Terrifying Than The Last 12 Minutes Of This Film Are The First 92.

Why It's Terrible: Flip it around, and it says that the ending isn't as good as the rest of the film. Not really the best marketing message.

What They Should Have Done: Suspiria will give you hysteria.