30 Disturbing Movie Cakes

Freddy Krueger

The Cake: A likeness (or unlikeness) of dream-lurking serial killer Freddy. The head was apparently sculpted by covering Rice Krispies with fondant. All the other bits (hat, worms, spider) were off the shelf.

Disturbing How? Do you really fancy eating what looks like a marzipan burn victim? That said, those people who were particularly upset by what Freddy got up to in his movies should take pleasure from carving him up good and proper.

Gizmo

The Cake: Cuddling little critter Gizmo – him off the Gremlins movies – gets immortalised in pastry and frosting.

Disturbing How? The likeness is just good enough to ensure we recognise the little fella, but just wrong enough to have us reaching for the door handle. Also, how could we eat such a cute wee chap?

Robert Pattison

The Cake: A still from Twilight: New Moon is lovingly welded onto the face of a birthday cake. For Christina.

Disturbing How? It was bad enough suffering through old pasty R-Patz’s strip scene in the movie, let alone having it haunt us on the top of a cake. Also, we don’t like the thought of screaming girls arguing over who gets the bit of cake with the abs on…

High School Musical

The Cake: A flamboyant pink abomination, all stars and frosting. Crafted for some lady called Haylene, who we assume isn't a sad middle-aged woman, but a Disney-mad tween with a massive crush on Zac Efron. He’s so dreamy…

Disturbing How? It’s pink! And hideous! And wrapped up in some very scary capitalist issues about the marketing of perfect young teens to the anxiety-ridden youth of today...

Sugar Kane

The Cake: Poor old John Hurt’s chest gets burst out of again – this time with a load of red-gooey marzipan. His identity’s also been wiped, his name tag replaced with the name ‘Rex’. We’re guessing that’s the birthday boy.

Disturbing How? It’s the most disturbing moment in the film, rendered in the spongey flesh. For eating pleasure. What’s not disturbing about that?

Its A Girl!

The Cake: A very odd creation that has Darth Vader helping a happy couple (we assume) to celebrate the birth of their lovely daughter.

Disturbing How? It’s sinister as hell. Vader isn’t exactly the nicest chap in the universe, and this looks suspiciously like a cradle-robbing attempt. Time for the recipient of this cake to get new friends.

Chestburster Wedding

The Cake: Two young newborn xenomorphs tie the knot atop a sinewy recreation of the alien’s dwellings.

Disturbing How? Just look at it. The xenomorph in the bow tie is particularly horrifying – it’s all a little bit Eraserhead .

Empire Strikes Back

The Cake: Remember that icky bit from the best Star Wars film? The part where Han Solo puts Luke inside a dead Tauntaun to keep him warm? Here’s a cake for it.

Disturbing How? Entrails. In cake form. It’d take some doing to get us to eat that.

E.T.

The Cake: A lovely ode to everybody’s favourite alien movie, replete with his favourite catch phrase.

Disturbing How? Is that really ET, or the monstrous lovechild of ET and Rainbow ’s Zippy? The fear in its eyes is bone-chilling – this thing knows it shouldn’t exist. Shudder.

Friday The 13th

The Cake: An ardent slasher fan has his gore-drenched wishes granted with a, uh, gore-drenched cake featuring the mask of serial killer Jason Voorhees.

Disturbing How? It’s the mask of serial killer Jason Voorhees, basically copied from the poster of Friday The 13th: Part IV.

Back To The Future

The Cake: A stunning recreation of the pivotal square from Back To The Future . The only thing that’s missing is Doc hanging from the clock – though they got the detail with the lightning-catching wire.

Disturbing How? The main disturbing thing about this is how meticulously it has recreated the real deal. There's nowt more queer than fanboydom.

Carrie

The Cake: Carrie White in her crowning moment, soaked in pig’s blood and with a determined look of doom in her eyes. We’re assuming that’s not real pig’s blood.

Disturbing How? It may be Carrie’s crowning moment, but it’s also her most devastating. Also, we can’t help wondering whose poor Barbie got butchered for this one.

Hogwarts Castle

The Cake: These people really should be architects. Somehow a master-baker has managed to completely recreate Hogwarts Castle, replete with spires and windows – even the clock and the moat below it. Stellar stuff.

Disturbing How? So real that we could imagine Harry gurning out front, it entirely warps our grip on reality.

Venom

The Cake: Spider-Man tussles with the symbiot Venom – and seems to be losing.

Disturbing How? It looks more like Spidey’s having a go at performing Madonna’s dance routine from ‘Vogue’. Which would probably have been ten times better than what Tobey Macguire actually did in Spider-Man 3.

Why So Serious?

The Cake: The promotional posters for The Dark Knight - featuring scrawls by the Joker - get baked.

Disturbing How? This cake resembles a beaten up smurf/Na’vi in drag. Not a nice thought.

Kill Bill

The Cake: A stylish interpretation of Tarantino’s Kill Bill, with a Katana sword impaling The Bride’s list of kills atop a bullet-strewn cake.

Disturbing How? More claret fluids are mixed in with all the subtlety of a cat in a hen house. What’s with people wanting to eat fake blood?

Lord Of The Rings

The Cake: Minas Tirith, as envisioned in Peter Jackson’s Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

Disturbing How? It’s that scary attention to detail again. We’re just jealous, really…

Johnny Depp

The Cake: A frankly bizarre ode to the beauty of Johnny Depp, with miniature models based on the actor laid bare atop a cake, wearing nothing but leopard skin pants. Additional photos present to help confirm identity, just in case.

Disturbing How? ‘If you can’t get the man himself, make a cake of him instead,’ screams this baking horror. We wonder who got to bite his head off.

Wall-E

The Cake: Robotic lovers Wall-E and Eve, the latter wrapped up in twinkly Christmas lights.

Disturbing How? Wall-E looks distinctly high, like he’s discovered the Earth’s last stash of crude oil. Now that’s a Wall-E we can get down with.

Darth and Storm Trooper

The Cake: Darth Vader and a Storm Trooper stand side-by-side in military style.

Disturbing How? Darth appears to be holding a conspicuous piece of strawberry liquorice, while the Storm Trooper snuggles up under his cape – and seems to be missing an arm. All kinds of wrong.

Indiana Jones

The Cake: That iconic scene from the start of Raiders Of The Lost Ark , where Indy breaks into an ancient Peruvian temple to grab an artefact.

Disturbing How? The hollow eyes and screaming mouth of the statue are an image of prostrate, desperate hell. No wonder – two giant hands are about to pinch him.

Kraken

The Cake: We're not 100% sure if this is meant to be the giant kraken creature from the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies, but it’s damn near close enough.

Disturbing How? Squids are horrible, end of. Loads of tentacles, horrible sucker things, and a mean twinkle in their eye. We don’t like them one bit, especially in cake form.

Twilight Books

The Cake: The entire Twilight series of books turned into four beautifully oriented cake-books.

Disturbing How? We can’t help imagining that a layer of icing was just laid over the actual books – which would make these cakes a little bit hard to stomach.

Wolverine

The Cake: Cage fighter Wolverine as we first meet him in Bryan Singer’s first X-Men movie.

Disturbing How? Why is Wolvie wearing flares? Also, that chest hair is a little bit too realistic, has somebody been raiding the hair brush for tufts?

A Very Shrek Wedding

The Cake: Shrek and Fiona stand in as the item atop a wedding cake, while Donkey and Dragon get up to mischief below.

Disturbing How? Shrek looks like he’s just eaten a blowfish, while Donkey looks more like Winnie the Pooh than the wisecracker we know and love. Just. Off.

Star Wars Bar

The Cake: That blue elephant-like chap from Star Wars: A New Hope.

Disturbing How? Giant hands strike again, and our big-nosed alien doesn’t look too happy about them – in fact, he’s positively glaring.

Mad Hatter

The Cake: More Depp immortalisation, as his character from Alice In Wonderland gets a marzipan makeover.

Disturbing How? The look on the Mad Hatter’s face is, well, mental. And not a little bit scary, like he's wondering how he's going to cook you for dinner. And what garnish to use. We’ll be having nightmares tonight, that’s for sure.

Batman

The Cake: The Dark Knight gets a vintage homage with this slice of cake artistry.

Disturbing How? Dear God, what’s happened to his mouth? WHAT’S HAPPENED TO HIS MOUTH?!

Shrek and Fiona Mark 2

The Cake : Another attempt at Shrek and Princess Fiona.

Disturbing How? Now it looks like Fiona’s the one who’s swallowed a blowfish, while by the look on Shrek’s face he’s enjoying the lap dance just a little bit too much…

Carbon Crisis

The Cake: Yet another brilliant moment from The Empire Strikes Back , as Han Solo is frozen in carbonite by the dastardly Darth Vader.

Disturbing How? We’re suddenly six years old again, and terrified that our hero is dead forever. Looks quite tasty, though, has to be said.

Josh Winning has worn a lot of hats over the years. Contributing Editor at Total Film, writer for SFX, and senior film writer at the Radio Times. Josh has also penned a novel about mysteries and monsters, is the co-host of a movie podcast, and has a library of pretty phenomenal stories from visiting some of the biggest TV and film sets in the world. He would also like you to know that he "lives for cat videos..." Don't we all, Josh. Don't we all.