Making games is hard. Making fun of them isn’t. It’s really, really easy, actually. Of course, we wouldn’t be so critical if we didn’t love them so damn much (and if we weren’t, you know, critics). We think games are just the bee’s knees, and that’s why we get so pissed about all the stupid crap they do ... » Read More

May 6, 2009

Guns that don’t shoot bullets

360 Feature | Half-Life 2

“Guns don’t kill people, bullets do.” But do they have to? Not at all, and in fact, this is all the destructive power you’re going to get out of shooting bullets. ... » Read More

Apr 15, 2009

Five rules for introducing your girlfriend to...

360 Feature | Half-Life 2

I’m not a miserable sexist ass; I’m just a practical observer. One thing I’ve observed is that men and women are different (I figured that one out pretty early on). Since I’m a rational person, I’m aware that nothing is entirely one way or another. Even the divide between life and death is ambiguous (uh, zombies, amirite?). ... » Read More

Mar 25, 2009

100 reasons fanboys hate shooters

360 Feature | Half-Life 2

Cue the banjo! It wouldn’t be the Week of Hate without our trademark “100 Reasons” videos. In case you missed it, last year we targeted game platforms. So this year we thought we’d change it up and go after a few popular genres. Up first, the ubiquitous shooter. ... » Read More

Aug 15, 2008

Seinfeld recreated in Garry's Mod

360 Feature | Half-Life 2

We’re big fans of dicking around, so when someone suggested that we attempt to reproduce a classic sitcom in Half-Life 2’s Garry’s Mod, we cited the “why the hell not” clause of our operating procedures and immediately began violating ragdolls. While our interpretation of the greatest nihilist sitcom ever may not win us any awards at machinima festivals, it can at least inspire some ironic ... » Read More

Mar 21, 2008

59 levels to play before you die: G - L

360 Feature | Half-Life 2

Legions of exasperated gamers whined that Kratos' escape from the bowels of Hell - complete with rotating columns of bladey cartilage, platforms of bone and two huge towers of spinning blades - was 'stupid', 'cheap' or 'toohardIwantmymummy!' but we loved it. ... » Read More

Jan 18, 2008

Gordon Freeman: Strongest personality in gaming

360 Feature | Half-Life 2

18th Jan, 2008 [Warning: Like our Portal article from December, this piece features some pretty heady discourse, and also benefits from a visit from Mr. Narrative Theory. If that stuff makes you run screaming, then feel free to run screaming. Also, if you haven't completed Half-Life 2, leave now. This contains some inhuman spoilers.] Half-Life 2 is widely and rightly regarded as a modern classic. In terms of both gameplay and artistry there have been few, if any, games in the FPS genre which ... » Read More

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