Which Resident Evil hero is best dressed for a zombie apocalypse?

We doubt high heels would be suitable for Judgment Day

What would be the best thing to wear to a zombie apocalypse? Would we go for the bullet-proof vest (but zombies don't have guns!)? Or the side-split evening gown (too much leg for the undead!)?

It's quite the wardrobe conundrum. So, to help plan the perfect Judgment Day outfit, we thought we'd look at Resident Evil's professionals to see which of them would be best dressed to survive a real-life zombie apocalypse. Read on. It could save your life.

The look: Douche bag's girlfriend

Well equipped for the zombie apocalypse?
We admire Jill for not letting something as intrusive as an outbreak of zombie flesh eaters dictate her wardrobe choices. That said, the boob tube and mini skirt combo doesn't exactly say "zombie apocalypse survivor". Unless she's planning on cock-teasing them all to death. But thank God she's had the sense of mind to pull the outfit together with a casually tied contingency sweater. We hear Raccoon City can get bitterly cold of an evening.

The look: David Bowie piloting the Memphis Belle

Well equipped for the zombie apocalypse?
In terms of apparel, Leon is perfectly kitted out. Durable leather bomber jacket. Discrete leg-holster. Tight-fitting vest for minimal chafing. Teflon-treated trousers with roomy cargo pockets. Anti-blister, extra-grip leather fingerless gloves. Heavy-duty water-resistant walking boots. It's all there. Now all he needs is to cut off the wanky philosophy-student fringe so he can see any parasite-carrying peasants before they stab him with a pitchfork.

The look: Pre-pubescent tom boy

Well equipped for the zombie apocalypse?
Yes, she's wearing a medic-issue bulletproof vest. Yes, she's got a bum bag which is probably full of useful supplies. And, yes, she's more practically attired than Ada Wong or Jill Valentine. But she's still got the look of a woman that could barely navigate the discomfort of a heavy period let alone survive the myriad horrors associated with the resurrection of the dead.

The look: Rick Astley at an Action Man party

Well equipped for the zombie apocalypse?
He might be wearing the right kind of gear, but this pre-beefcake version of a very wet-behind-the-ears Chris still looks horribly ill-prepared for the zombie Armageddon. The crease-free combat trousers, pristine flak jacket, shiny boots and carefully groomed hair give the impression that he'd be more comfortable choosing skin moisturisers than combating deadly mutagens.

The look: Out-of-our-price-bracket Shanghai hooker

Well equipped for the zombie apocalypse?
As far as we know, harnessing the power of sexy as a weapon against brain dead crazies is ineffectual. They are, unfortunately, impervious to the lure of seduction. So anyone dressing for World War Zombie in an elegant side-split evening gown, choker and high heels would have to be certifiably mental. Or commendably unwilling to dress down regardless of humanity's impending final judgement.


I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.
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