Which real-life moustachioed man looks most like Mario?

We Photoshop Mario's hat on 20 famous hairy-faced men to find out

Words: on November 5, 2009

Does having a moustache instantly put you in the category of Mario lookalike? That's today's burning question. And we're going to answer it. Right here. Right now. To find out, we took 20 images of famous real-life men with moustaches and stuck Mario's hat on them. But before we share the results of our Photoshop experiment, let's have a close look at the Nintendo mascot's trademark 'tache.

Mario's moustache: A close look

 

Now that we've familiarised ourselves with the characteristic properties of Mario's moustache, we're suitably equipped to find out if all moustachioed men look like Mario when you stick a red cap on them. As you'll see, we rate each entry for Mario 'alikeness', which works like so:

 

Adolf Hitler

  

Despite its diminutive length, Nazi Germany's Das Fuhrer was the proud owner of one of history's most famous moustaches, which has come to be known almost exclusively as the Hitler 'tache. Its association with genocide isn't particularly attractive, however, so this type of moustache is rarely seen on the faces of right-minded people.

 

Albert Einstein

 

This is basically pretty much exactly what Mario would look like in a few years' time. That is, of course, if Mario suffered from the symptoms of physical deterioration caused by biological ageing.

 

Bill 'The Butcher' Cutting

 

Even Mario's hat of fun can't disguise the murderous malevolence that sweats from every pore of Cutting's face. If ever Cutting holidayed in the Mushroom Kingdom, we're sure he'd round off his trip by disembowelling Bowser and fashioning the rancid turtle guts into decorative festoons.

 

Borat Sagdiyev

 

Kazakhstan's high-profile advocate of the mankini shares many facial similarities with Mario. The dark, prominent eyebrows. A nose of significant dimensions. The unshifting simpleton's smile. And, of course, the 'tache that absolutely dominates the space between top lip and nostril. It's just a shame that the hat isn't big enough to cover all that hair.

 

Brad Pitt

 

With a 'tache that scrawny, Pitt can never really be a serious Mario lookalike contender. He does get to have sex with Lara Croft, though. Which is a much more desirable video game related achievement.

Earl J Hickey, Freddie Mercury, Graeme Souness, Groucho Marx and Hercule Poirot on the next page...

Related

Games:


Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii)

View Videos and Screenshots Hide Videos and Screenshots

Latest Videos

Latest Screenshots


Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (DS)

View Videos and Screenshots Hide Videos and Screenshots

Latest Videos

Latest Screenshots


Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time (DS)

View Screenshots Hide Screenshots

Latest Screenshots

» More related Games

Platforms:

Wii, DS

39 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
  • Commander034

    Commander034  - 9 months ago  - Report

    How is Stalin not on here?
  • Craza

    Craza  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    Honestly? Saddam Hussein?
    Wow....Ron Jeremy looks more like Mario than Hussein. >.<
    And if Borat's mustache turned upwards, I would vote for him. XD
  • gmilf71

    gmilf71  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    No Josef Stalin?! Well I guess you covered that with Hussein. And nice Bill the butcher part. And lemmy. lol.
  • hadkrad

    hadkrad  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    earl looks the most like mario
  • super0sonic

    super0sonic  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    The Lack of Lou Albano and Bob Hoskins make me sad :(
  • marioman50

    marioman50  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    Yeah, I agree with fattoler

    Stalin could pull off a killer Mario look!
  • brickman409

    brickman409  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    lol i was just watching an episode of my name is earl
  • InanimateCarbonTodd

    InanimateCarbonTodd  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    "80s TV's greatest private investigator *must* have been on the short list for the Super Mario Bros movie. His chest was probably a bit too hairy, though."

    They cast Bob Hoskins. Have you _seen_ his chest (not to mention his back and shoulders)?
  • Xplosive59

    Xplosive59  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    Lemmy is to awesome to mario, and mario isnt god
  • Unoriginal

    Unoriginal  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    Fantastic!
  • hunterXhunter

    hunterXhunter  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    What would John Waters be? 2 Marios?
  • Samael

    Samael  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    @cyberninja

    Then why the fuck did you decide to comment and waste even more space than you usually do?

    Funny article, though there were a lot of English people I've never heard of. Oh well.
  • Romination

    Romination  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    goddang it, Salvador Dali is weird... A true inspiration
  • SuperGoomba64

    SuperGoomba64  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    This article is epic win for a My Name is Earl reference.
  • Sabtos

    Sabtos  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    I think Ron Jeremy and Borat were pretty close.
  • NanoElite666

    NanoElite666  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    @Clownsarescary

    See now, but I read the article before it was ever displayed up in the main features setion.
  • Ddz53

    Ddz53  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    follicle fractures... lol
  • Hobojedi

    Hobojedi  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    It's nice to have a rating key in the the article for once.
  • speno93

    speno93  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    Saddam Hussain's death was probably organised by Nintendo in order to protect their copyright. In fact the invasion was probably all organized by Nintendo in order to bring the one who copyrighted their mascot's look to justice. The truth must be told!
  • norid

    norid  - 2 years, 3 months ago  - Report

    Jason Lee has so much talent. He can pull off a mario, be funny, act, and he was a pro skater
Most Commented
Connect with GamesRadar