5. Mario Kart
Borne on wings of night, it comes for you. Hurtling through the sky, it begins at the end and seeks the first. Be not afraid as you hear its approach, for death is but a swift end to torment. What is it? It’s the blue shell that piece of shit you once called a friend threw from last place. You survived the lightning bolts, you dodged the bullet bills, but that goddamn blue shell is not something your weak flesh can combat. Here you are, actually being good at the game; and there your friends are, being so awful that the game gives them pity items that only serve to make your life worse.
And it’s not like you can get back at that friend either. Oh no. Once your friend speeds past (probably as Toad or Waluigi), you get no help to catch up to them again. Except for maybe three green shells, which of course come back and hit you after ricocheting off of an impossible arrangement of hidden barriers in the level.