The Top 7… Games you don’t want for Christmas 2010

They're not all bad, but they aren't Saint Nick's best choices

If not, well, sorry%26hellip; have fun being marginalized for a week. But if you are one of the lucky little boys or girls who Santa Claus, God King of Amazon.com, has chosen to offer a brand-new game this Christmas, you%26rsquo;d better hope he chose the right one. It%26rsquo;s not that all of these gamesare bad- we just think that they%26rsquo;re the most likely to disappoint hopeful game-receivers. And if that happens, this could be the worst Christmas ever (excluding almost everyone else in the world%26rsquo;s Christmas).


Above: Someone has been reading too manyrage comicsat work. Guess who? Pppppfffffttttitsme!


7. Metroid: Other M (Wii)

Your good-intentioned relative thought: You%26rsquo;ve got other Metroid games. This one is new. Goodbye GameStop, hello glossy, vaguely-Chinese plate of General Tso's chicken from the food court.

Why you don%26rsquo;t want it:Other M is good, but it doesn%26rsquo;t match the greatness of previous Metroid titles. Even so, if you love Metroid, you%26rsquo;re going to play it. You probably already did.

If you haven%26rsquo;t played it yet, there%26rsquo;s a chance you just like Metroid, in which case Other M isa four-month-old distraction from all of the other,better Wii gamesthat came out this year.

Had it been released a couple years ago, that statement would be hard to back up, but 2010 was a (relatively) strong year for the Wii. You probably want Donkey Kong Country Returns, Kirby%26rsquo;s Epic Yarn, or Super Mario Galaxy 2. Then, maybe Other M... or Epic Mickey, CoD: Black Ops, or Goldeneye. Then Other M%26hellip; or maybe Red Steel 2, Tatsunoko vs Capcom, NBA Jam, or No More Heroes 2%26hellip;

Unless%26hellip; The following is all it takes to convince you:


6. Anything involving Kinect (360)

Your good-intentioned relative thought: It%26rsquo;s the Big New Thing. You may have even asked for it.

Why you don%26rsquo;t want it: Whether or not you%26rsquo;re itching to try it out, you don%26rsquo;t want Kinect for Christmas. Not for Christmas. After moving the coffee table, finding somewhere to balance the camera, and calibrating the thing, guess what? It isn%26rsquo;t your present anymore.

You don%26rsquo;t get to hide away in your room with a brand-new Kinect unit. It's not just for you, it's for everyone. And maybe Christmas is all about coming together as a family or whatever, but as far as we're concerned, after the presents are opened, it's about selfish indulgence.

See illustration 1.1 for further explanation:

And it isn%26rsquo;t like there are many games out that you%26rsquo;d actually want in the first place. Enjoy Dance Central until you get tired of it. Then what?

Unless%26hellip; You are your little sister. But that's weird.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Associate Editor, Digital at PC Gamer
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