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The Top 7… Games you don't want for Christmas 2009

Christmas is nearly here, and we can’t wait for it to be over. After spending over an hour in line with a stressed out mother struggling to wrestle candy from her brood of bratty toddlers, we desperately wanted to punch her screaming cubs in the face. But it’s not just the crowds and children that we hate. We have plenty leftover for all the gaudy lights, too. How wasteful! Why not turn off all those ugly electricity eaters and conserve our dwindling natural resources? While we’re at it, let’s turn off the life support systems, too. Old people are always so hard to shop for.

Fortunately, there is one thing we do like about Christmas. It gives us a chance to channel all our Christmas contempt towards the worst games we had the pleasure of hating this year. So join us, in what is fast becoming a GamesRadar tradition, as we take a tour through our seven favorite “bad” titles that you definitely don’t want for Christmas this year.


7. Tony Hawk Ride (360, PS3, Wii)

The reviews have arrived and it’s official: the Tony Hawk franchise is dead. The motion sensitive skateboard controller could’ve helped mark a fresh start for the long loved series. But the frumpy controller, which sends you weaving wildly through each level like a drunken elephant on a unicycle, makes Tony Hawk Ride feel more like an expensive funeral.

Rest in peace, Tony Hawk. We’d like to take a moment to remember the good times, like grinding rails in Venice Beach and stringing together tricks with manuals to create near-infinite combos in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. Connecting tricks like this is what made Tony Hawk titles so much fun, but all the fine precision and timing from previous titles are absent in Ride. In their place, wild sweeping turns that send you straight into walls every time you lean, tricks that feel accidental when they work, and frustrating when they don’t. The hefty retail price ($119.99/ £111.95) for the game and skateboard controller adds insult to injury, making this not only a bad game gift, but an extremely expensive one, too.


Above: We’ll just have to take it one day at a time 


Above: The skateboard controller is quite sturdy, but grinding rails and doing tricks just isn’t fun anymore 


Above: We don’t think gamers or skaters will like THRide. But if you’re a total douchebag with a designer apartment, it might be perfect for you 

What you should do if you got this for Christmas: If you can return or exchange your copy of Tony Hawk Ride, we’d recommend you pick up a copy of Skate 2 for the 360 or PS3. Skate It is also a good choice for Wii and DS owners. Plus, you can always return to retro classics for your skating fix. Swap meets are great for finding classic games like Skate or Die and Skate or Die 2 for the original NES!

Topics

Top 7

40 comments

  • AuthorityFigure - December 21, 2009 10:25 a.m.

    Finally I say, It's amazing to be; Reading this article, So easily. Thanks for reading.
  • JiminyNickIt - December 21, 2009 11:21 a.m.

    Wow, Oscar the Grouch sure hates Christmas.
  • TRAVthe3RD - December 21, 2009 11:49 a.m.

    i can describe what will happen if one finds a game like this for christmas..: -unwraps present - sees game - face palm (remembers family is watching - best fake smile, face palming on the inside - once family leaves.. use as frisbee, coaster.. then trade in
  • Frexerik - December 21, 2009 12:55 p.m.

    hmm.. the only one i would be afraid of getting for christmas is tony hawk ride! *shudders*
  • waynski1457 - December 21, 2009 1:12 p.m.

    "But NOT the 3D series." Oh c'mon! Sure the beginning and movie sucked, but the show has easily found its legs and knows how to kick some ass now. And, a better alternative for BHDS would be Lego RB DS. Even with its okay tracklist, it's a worthy alternative to RBU on the PSP in that it's basically more portable Frequency/Amplitude.
  • Cyberninja - December 21, 2009 1:14 p.m.

    i want to get tony hawk ride for christmas then i can sell it on the internet and get more than its worth
  • Thanatos0013 - December 21, 2009 2:38 p.m.

    I ddon't wanna get tony hawk ride (dies abit inside) 10 secconds later Holy !@#$%! gets $100 for good games
  • QWERTYCommander - December 21, 2009 3:39 p.m.

    *Sigh* The N64 version of Tony Hawk 1 was one of my first games ever, and the 4th was one of my favorite games ever. RIP TH games, you will be missed. They should've stopped once THAW came out.
  • garnsr - December 21, 2009 4:21 p.m.

    Looks like it's mostly Nintendo-only owners who really have to worry. And, very appropriately, ReCaptcha is: the flakiest. Most appropriate, simple one I've ever had.
  • rxb - December 21, 2009 4:55 p.m.

    Unless you tell parents/girlfriend/whoever what game to buy, you will alway end up with something you didnt want.
  • GameManiac - December 21, 2009 5:05 p.m.

    For whatever game I get, as long as it isn't based on licensed ANYTHING (unless I hear it's good), I'll keep it. And if I don't like it? eBay. Also, why couldn't Scene it? Twilight be #1. I HATE the Twilight series. The whole thought of a romance with a vampire who doesn't, in my opinion, look ANYTHING like a vampire is idiotic and a giant load of shit in my eyes.
  • sveini22 - December 21, 2009 5:15 p.m.

    whel i dont care what they say about reflex, i am going to get it.
  • Romination - December 21, 2009 6:08 p.m.

    It should be "former GR staffer Paul Ryan". It brought a tear to my eyes to have to admit these words....but it's true.
  • FalconMbuster - December 21, 2009 6:13 p.m.

    I got Castlevania: Judgment last year -_-. That was an IMMEDIATE return. I had mentioned Order of Ecclesia, but when the only thing you get that Christmas is money, clothes, and likely the worst Castlevania game in the history of forever... the spirit of the season kinda dies.
  • Unoriginal - December 21, 2009 6:55 p.m.

    Aw man, no crying babies this year? Great list but I do disagree with one thing: Once Elmo takes a Liking to something it is NOT lame!
  • CaptainSpatula - December 21, 2009 7:14 p.m.

    Alright, back for another year. I love this top 7 but it always makes me nervous for what I'm going to get for Christmas, my parents aren't the most videogame savvy people in the universe...
  • Xplosive59 - December 21, 2009 7:50 p.m.

    although there was crap this year at least it better than 2008s offerings
  • aguilanthony - December 21, 2009 8:15 p.m.

    Gamesradar really hates MW:R on the wii.
  • Dexsus - December 21, 2009 8:48 p.m.

    What the hell kind of trousers is that girl wearing on page 3? Anyway....great article, but it makes me sad how much of a joke they made the TH series.
  • gojiguy - December 21, 2009 9:46 p.m.

    Dead Space Extraction is great for a rail shooter on the Wii? Are Rail-shooters bad? And are they better on consoles besides the Wii?

Showing 1-20 of 40 comments

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