The best and worst credits

Nobody watches the credits. We’d rather spam the start button than devote even a few minutes to the people who made it all possible. Some developers get this; some don’t. Join us as we berate and praise in roughly equal measures.

Gears of War

With Cole Train’s rapping and ‘wooing,' how can Epic Games’ brilliant credit sequence be remembered as anything other than preposterously brilliant? Like Barry White on about 10,000 litres of caffeine, Cole Train’s not-in-any-way-stereotypical unveiling of his rap game at the end of Gears of War injected a bit of demographic-pleasing urban charm into an otherwise straightforward third person game about shooting monsters and looking at all that juice. Want to create a cult credit sequence? Insert an out of context sing-song at the end.

Super Mario 64

Following Peach’s contrived invitation to meet Mario seemed so straightforward. It wasn’t. Cue massive quest and much jumping into paintings in search of something sweet to fill that insatiable Italian’s little plumber belly. Hours later, thumbstick waggled in 360 exciting new degrees, Bowser tossed onto ill-placed exploding polygons, you’re finally rewarded what it was all really about – that cake. You couldn’t eat it, mind, only smack your lips as that crazy camera guy Latiku did a flying recap through the levels like a madman/beetle/whatever the the hell that thing was, but the thought was there. Secret Yoshi on the castle roof, here we come (spoilers!).

Halo 3

Just six words separate this otherwise fist-clenchingly opaque trilogy-closer from the dreaded bad list: “Wake me. When you need me.” Chief's message to Cortana before the credits rolled ensured fanboys had plenty to geek over on forums and might have just saved Bungie a mailbox full of death threats.

And for those attentive few who carried on watching? Is that a planet they’re slowly drifting towards?

Guitar Hero: World Tour

Guitar Hero might not be as refined as Rock Band, but does the latter let you drum, strum or wail your way through the credits while soaring majestically through the clouds on a sky ship drawn by mythical winged beasts? You may have lost the Tony Hawk series with your brash ways and garish color scheme, Neversoft, but touché.

Super Smash Bros Melee

These credits weren’t for watching – they were for shooting. The videogame equivalent of a middle finger to other mediums? Certainly: until the days of Titanic 4D with a gun, blasting your Joe Takanaris and your Jim Sakikuras as their names advance up the screen just couldn’t be done in cinema or radio. And for those of you who prefer shooting at credits rather than aliens or robots, you can even unlock a trophy (no, not for your PS3).


  • BanHer - June 12, 2009 1:22 a.m.

    Hello? Forgot Portal, did you?
  • raman162 - June 12, 2009 12:18 a.m.

    I'm going to be the second person to use up all 5000 characters.Yes thats right, I will be the SECOND but I wish I could be the first by the way Failureisinevitable you are very lucky to at least finish your exams, I got one tomorrow, well I guess that happens when you go to school in the Caribbean instead of the United States of America, well atleast thats where I assume you come from Failureisinevitable. Well where was I again......... oh yeah I was nowhere. Damn this is pretty hard, I already ran out of ideas of what to say and I only got 4452 characters left, I've got to hand it to you Failureisinevitable you must have alot of time on your hands to do something like this but now I'm starting to wonder if you even used all 5000 characters now did you, hmmmmmmmmm........maybe you just said you did to let everyone think you did. By the way I don't think I am going to comment on the actual reason for commenting on this video because I didn't bother to watch all the videos, I'm at my friends house his name is Steve, he's a nice guy but he is not very smart to still have dial up, Its very frustrating that it will take forever for me just to view one single video. Thats why I think Steve should get a faster internet also because i don't have internet at my house. Well to tell the truth its not my house its actually my mother's, can you believe that I'm in my mid 30's and still live with my mother. You know what I also cant believe, I'm writing this long comment and I have a end of term test tomorrow and I haven't even started studying yet. Well if your wondering why i'm 30 something and I'm still going to school, its actually a long story but I got 3322 characters left so I can tell you the story but the real question is that am i really up to tell the story. Well the real answer is that I really don't know myself if I'm up to tell the story but lets decide by playing tic tac toe with my self, If I lose, I tell the story, If I win I don't tell the story, sounds like a good plan, yeah I know. Awww darn looks like I lost to myself, I should study my strategy so i know what I'm gonna play next so I can probably win next time. Anyways the reason why I'm 30 something and still in school was because when i was growing up I was retarded. The End. Well how did you like that story, I personally loved it because it had a happy ending. Anyways I would say back to the point now but apparently there is no point to get back to. Oh wait someone just called me on their iphone 3G to my Nokia 1100. Hey I'm back, bet you don't know anyone else who still owns a Nokia 1100, well if you know me which you probably don't you will know a person. screw this, I made it over half way thats good enough , YOU WIN Failureisinevitable , Lucky Bastard *cough *cough *cough.
  • xSemiFictionx - June 11, 2009 9:28 p.m.

    What about Hitman: Blood Money for best credits? That is one funeral to remember for those who have played it...
  • lovinmyps3 - June 11, 2009 7:23 p.m.

    you forgot the metal gear solid series. all you want to do is go get something to eat while the unskippable credits roll but you cant because you know there will be a dialouge at the end that will somehow tie into the next game. plus the credits seem to take FOREVER!! at least the music is halfway decent
  • NorwegianKingOfNames - June 11, 2009 2:22 p.m.

    I am Norwegian King of Names! Is this writer new? I actually laughed out loud in a few places - the Halo 2 and Eat Lead ones are hilarious (and so true). But you DID miss Portal. I demand to see more features from this writer!
  • helix92 - June 11, 2009 10:43 a.m.

    Failureisinevitable. Achievement Unlocked Way too much time on your hands Bravo, well done
  • Defguru7777 - June 11, 2009 4:13 a.m.

    How could you not include Portal? It was actually better than Gears of War's. Also, it seems like some of these are on the list for their ENDINGS, not their CREDITS (Halo 2, 3, Super Mario 64).
  • JeffK - June 11, 2009 3:39 a.m.

    What about Hitman: Blood Money? (Spoiler Alert for nimrods and dinguses too stupid to have previously comprehended this probability) It looks like 47 is dead, sold out by the disembodied voice chick, the cut-scene narrative wraps up right into it. I was actually getting pissed at the game for not letting me skip the credits (Escape wasn't doing anything) and banging at the keyboard for a few moments before I noticed that when I hit the spacebar, 47's heartbeat was starting back up. Capital bonus, I thought.
  • CandiedJester - June 11, 2009 2:47 a.m.

    Wha..where's Portal? D: That was the best ending credit's EVER. I replayed it so many times..
  • NanoElite666 - June 11, 2009 2:10 a.m.

    I'm with everyone else who's brought it up, Portal's credits are wonderful. I also like the credits that Insomniac puts into their games, with their long-running "No [insert featured game character here] were injured in the making of this game" statements. One game that I think had bad credits, though, was on of the Crysis games (can't remember if it was the original or Warhead). Watched my brother finish it, and then the credits just seemed to go on FOREVER. Hell, we started to wonder if they had just repeated at some point and we had missed it.
  • LaughedWig - June 11, 2009 12:46 a.m.

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa All 5000 Used. You Happy
  • Cwf2008 - June 10, 2009 11:53 p.m.

    @mrandydixon and Failureisinevitable: HE DID IT! He made a comment with all 5000 characters! reCAPTCHA: Farthest in?
  • Failureisinevitable - June 10, 2009 11:39 p.m.

    You know what? I think I'm going to take up that weirdo's offer to use all 5000 letters in this mythical, quite blank (Not for long) box. How majestic it is, too bad I will have to get rid of it's blinding whiteness simply to prove a point. Now where were we? Oh, yes! I was going to type 5000 letters, why just now the characters remaining thing says 4644, well, whatever. this could take an extremely long time so I am going to share my opinions on this article. Does it really count as part of the credits in Halo 3 when Master Chief tells Cortana "Wake me. When you need me." I mean, it just seems to me like a random cutscene, plus it's before Bungie decided to play the credits. And the cake deal in Mario? Well, I do believe we all agree about one thing, the cake is definitely a lie. Wow, typing this reminds me of that final exam we had in school a week ago. Seems genuinely ironic that I'm typing up another essay in the middle of Summer Vacation. And now it is time for me to address the "Worst" credits. Hmmm, kind of awkward that I finished noting most (if not all) of the "Best" credits without even typing 2500 characters. ahh, just a moment. It seems as though someone is attempting to contact me on my absolutely portable cellular phone, which just so happens to be a green Samsung propel from AT&T. I am finished with my call. Alright, I am prepared to watch the credits for the "worst" credits section so that I can give my unbiased and completely elongated opinions with the ratings. Oh, and GaMeRGuY1oh4 that is NOWHERE near 50 characters. better luck next time, old chap. Concerning the "Eat Lead" credits, I simply do not understand what the problem is. How is giving someone an achievement after the credits a problem? All they're doing is giving you an achievement for beating the game. Are you trying to say that it's a bad idea to play a game and finish it? I have seen TONS, literally TONS of games that give you an achievement after you watch the credits, and non of those are sitting up there on the "Worst" list. I do not understand why a game like "Eat Lead" was on that list other than a personal opinion that the game itself is bad. Too bad that everything in our screwed up, economy crashed, war ridden, death driven world is biased on personal decisions. Ah, it seems now that my remaining characters has dropped to just a bit over half. It is actually currently residing at 2585. How great is that? Oh, and GaMeRGuY1oh4? I realised that it most definitely DOES count spaces in the character count, rendering one of your posts as much of a lie as CAKE. Do YOU want to end up as a flimsy thing hated by all who wield strange weapons that allow you to rip open holes in space and time? Do you want to be at the butt of most Valve related jokes? Do you? DO YOU!? I thought not. Now, back to the matter at hand. I do seem to be repeatedly copying this comment down in hopes that I do not lose this. Is this and actual determined goal, I feel? Let's check out the next Credits reel before I make any more out of context statements. Ah, Fable. Those credits stank like a fresh pile of Mastiff dung. And I'm not joking. What was with those strange paintings on the walls? And a whole ten minutes for credits? I would simply have minimised the browser and started playing some other game. That music too, it made my poor dog cover his ears in shame. Do any of you know how picky a West Highland White Terrier is? How disappointing that your videos disappointed a DOG. Of all things, a dog? Plus, he's not even as picky as I said. I was just typing that to get descriptive, but seriously? HE COVERED HIS EARS. No amount of dog biscuits in the world have ever gotten my dog to do that trick. Same thing with the play dead trick where you make the funky finger gun, say "BAM!" and the dog whimpers and plays dead. Any tips for that? well, back to he credits videos. hopefully the Halo 2 one isn't near as bad as the Fable one. Oh boy, what fun I'll have watching this video. TIME TO CLICK THE MOUSE!!! Personally, I do not understand why everyone hates the Halo 2 credits. I liked them, plus the "Shout outs" in the end were very interesting. If anyone could tell me why they hated the Halo 2 credits, please tell me. If not, I guess I'll never know. Oh wait, let me read what the crew had to say about it on the spot at the top... That's a bit childish, don't you think? Everyone knows that there's a certain data amount that can fit onto one disk, that's why they made Halo "2". I don't understand why you didn't put Halo: Combat Evolved up on the list of worst credits because THAT cuts you off, too. It cuts you off exactly as much as the Halo 2 did. So you know what? That was a very stupid post for the worst. I also agree with everyone else. The Portal credits NEED to be on the best credits. I even bought "Still Alive" (The song that GLaDOS was singing) for my iPod off of iTunes. Hmm, I wonder how I'm going to fill up this last 20 digits. I have an idea! -Failure
  • BigTuna - June 10, 2009 11:38 p.m.

    Where is Prince of Persia? Not only could you actually move during the credits, it also had a ton of emotional impact. Elika is one of my all time favorite characters and having to carry her body through the credits was a very sad moment. And also Portal needed to be on the list
  • GamesRadarLizzieCuevas - June 10, 2009 10:14 p.m.

    I'd have to agree with the Portal stuff: Hey, my reCAPTCHA is my dad's name!
  • Ravenbom - June 10, 2009 9:51 p.m.

    OMFG! How the hell could you make a best credits list and not put Portal's end credits? I'd also put Street Fighter IV on the worst list because even after you beat it with everyone, the endings really aren't cohesive enough, nor does any ending grant catharsis for beating pain in the ass Seth.
  • AshLynx - June 10, 2009 9:48 p.m.

    Aww, where was Portal on the best credits?
  • IslanderSwagg - June 19, 2009 6:08 a.m.

    @Failureisinevitable, GET A LIFE!!!
  • skyline19 - June 15, 2009 4:49 p.m.

    Halo 2...I felt fury...
  • Swrestler201 - June 15, 2009 8:17 a.m.

    How long did that actually take you to actually write up 5000 letters/spaces. because it would take a long time and now if some one else had done it every one would just instantly look off. I only just got 4789 with this man that must have taken ages. Well done dude.

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