The 10 cheesiest songs about videogames

About a year ago we reveled in the dorky glory of gaming’s cheesiest music, a thorough collection of hopelessly goofy game songs that will inspire facepalms for years to come. This time we’re focusing on actual bands or contracted jingle-slingers who crafted tunes based on games that never needed a lyrical companion in the first place.

Above: This one’s on the house

The results are highly literal, bullet-pointed compositions that are wholly terrible, yet undeniably fascinating by their mere existence. Someone sat down, furrowed their brow and committed many frustrating nights to the creation of a song about space aliens or immortal vampires.

If you only hear 10 shitty songs this week, they’d better all be in this article. Truly head shaking stuff here, folks. Let’s listen!

Space Invaders

By: Uncle Vic

Standout lyric: “You slid to the left, you slid to the right / You’re the Space Invaders king tonight.”

Very likely the first instance of a real-world musician gaining fame by writing a song about a popular videogame. It’s loaded with pew-pew-pew noises taken straight from the game (did anyone ask Taito?!?) and lyrics that paint a stirring picture of a dude zoning out in front of a Space Invaders arcade cabinet, all sung with the gravelly gravitas of Sgt. Slaughter.

Gotta hand it to Uncle Vic though – it’s damn catchy. If his expert handling of Invaders’ sweeping storyline impresses you enough to seek more Vic masterpieces, check his streaming myspace page. Fair warning: he’s also a radio DJ so get ready for JOKES.

Ode to a Centipede

By: Buckner and Garcia

Standout lyric: “If you can get them before they get you / They go back to the top and start on rack two!”

Everyone knows the Pac-Man Fever album – it was a shared mass hallucination the entire US suffered in 1982, strong enough to convince millions of radio listeners that a song about goddamn Pac-Man should peak at #8 on the Billboard charts. Far worse than the title track, however, was this misguidedly earnest tale about Centipede.

The tone is caught somewhere between frivolity and genuine sincerity, with a sound reminiscent of The Killers making fun of Dire Straits. Buckner & Garcia pull it off so straight-faced and emotional that we’d wager “Centipede” could be played over the tractor showdown in Footloose and the scene would lose absolutely none of its tension.

Ignorance is Bliss

By: Jellyfish

Standout lyric: “With my magic book I’ll shower / Those clumsy lizards with my power”

Wow. Just wow. An upbeat song about the Mushroom Kingdom, performed by Bowser with such gusto it could be an aborted Broadway musical. For a throwaway song on a forgotten CD (called White Knuckle Scorin’), it’s not half bad in a “wait, this really happened?” kind of way.

It’s sprinkled with enough banjo for a “Bowser Went Down to Georgia” feel, and the spirited chorus ties it all together into a truly indescribable musical gem. Want more weird? The band responsible, Jellyfish, has quite a history, including a member who went on to write for Puffy AmiYumi. Oh, one more thing…

Above: Album cover from Wikipedia 

Above: Zooming in… is that a Wii spitting out GameCube discs… in 1991? 

Next page – Mario raps like it’s 1993, Dracula gets funky and Mortal Kombat throws a rave

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  • Manny-Faces - June 9, 2010 6:32 p.m.

    music to my ears
  • wolfgang212 - August 31, 2009 7:15 p.m.

    i want all of these as ringtones... now.
  • secretsearcher - August 29, 2009 2:59 p.m.

    OH MY GOD. I hadn't watched the last video yet when I wrote that other comment. OH MY GOD. WORST VOICE EVER. It makes me feel kind of bad for the kid though...
  • garnsr - August 29, 2009 12:35 a.m.

    Del tha Funky Homosapien has a song on Both Sides of the Brain that's all about video games, called Protoculture, that's pretty cheesy. He even mentions the Turbo Grafx at one point.
  • CH3BURASHKA - August 28, 2009 7:03 p.m.

    I still have the Killer Cuts CD, and listen to it now and then. It's awesome, and awesomely hilarious, and awesomely bad. We need a new KI. Also, there needs to be an archer character, so that when his/her moves are interrupted, the guy can say BOW-BREAKER.
  • TomMishkin - August 27, 2009 11:02 p.m.

    "I expected the zelda song by system of a down to be here" HEY C'MON! That was great. Pure fanboy stuff. Lyrics were AT LEAST on par with T.S. Eliot and Walt Whitman. AT LEAST.
  • AntistasBoneShield - August 27, 2009 9:40 p.m.

    I like Chinese Ninja Warrior. Those 12 year olds are terrible!
  • TheWebSwinger - August 27, 2009 8:32 p.m.

    I really am hooked on the Brothers, it's no laughing matter. I just need one more star, more star...
  • Bobbety - August 27, 2009 6:46 p.m.

    I could perfectly picture the guys at the top of the article singing along to "King of the Koopas".
  • mastersword369 - August 27, 2009 3:22 p.m.

    What about that Mario themed country song from T-Dar 35? I know it was somewhere in the 30's, I'm pretty sure it was 35.
  • Conman93 - August 27, 2009 3:09 p.m.

    I expected the zelda song by system of a down to be here
  • SausageLozenge - August 27, 2009 10:55 a.m.

    "if you were 10 and into games, you loved this shit." You are a poet Mr. Elston.
  • Unoriginal - August 27, 2009 9:27 a.m.

    @Dameon Angell How are they still playing? I am going to wash my ears now.
  • FistfulofPelican - August 27, 2009 8:31 a.m.

    I know most of these have already been shown on the podcast, but I still find them hilarious.
  • Dameon Angell - August 27, 2009 6:05 a.m.

  • garnsr - August 27, 2009 4:23 a.m.

    I loved Ode to a Centipede when I was a kid. That album had some great stuff, Pac Man Fever was probably my least favorite. (Mouse trap, mouse trap, cheese was the bait)
  • BlackIce575 - August 27, 2009 12:33 a.m.

    ....... that sucked
  • 5DollarFootlong - August 26, 2009 11:29 p.m.

    this article is full of win because of killer cuts and mortal kombat. this article is full of fail because of the entire 3rd page. good job brett.
  • CoD4Kamikazi - August 26, 2009 11:29 p.m.

    one of my favorite video game songs has got to be Test Your Might, freakin' awesome dance music, I really liked that The Way You Move song, that was an epic beat
  • CountFenring - August 26, 2009 11:05 p.m.

    I'm surprised no one made a song up. I'd love to listen to a song about Gabriel Knight from Charlie.