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Rush’N Attack Ex-Patriot review

Disappointing
AT A GLANCE
  • The Bowie knife is huge!
  • Stealth kills are gruesome
  • Cold War hysteria made for some great 80's movies
  • Combat is bland
  • The platforming is terrible
  • It rips off other, better remakes

Rush’N Attack: Ex-Patriot is the perfect game for retro fans who enjoyed the 1985 original but wanted it to suck. This game functions like a veritable checklist of what not to do when designing an HD remake/re-imagining/re-whatever. Contrary to successful throwback games like Bionic Commando: Rearmed and Shadow Complex, Rush’N Attack is an absolute cash-in devoid of any substance or charm.


Take the premise of any schlocky Cold War action movie made in the 80s, remove anything that’s remotely fun or likeable about it and you’ve got Rush’N Attack’s plot. Taking on the role of all-American badass ninja commando Sid Morrow (codenamed Wolf Spider, of course), it’s your job to lead a spec-ops team of knife specialists (not shitting you) to investigate some sort of experimental Russian super weapon. Comically, your team immediately gets its ass kicked and thrown into a gulag somewhere (this all occurs before you even get to start hitting buttons). Subsequently, some dude who’s obviously not going to be a giant plot twist further down the line breaks you out of your cell, hands you a Bowie knife that’s about eight sizes too big and starts listing off videogame objectives.

From hilarious start to mind-numbing finish, Rush’N Attack plays out like a grittier crappier Bionic Commando: Rearmed. The introduction utilizes an animated comic book presentation and all dialogue is depicted through text next to static portraits. Also like Bionic Commando, this game makes use of the whole 2.5D look; however, unlike the game it’s so clearly modeling itself after, Rush’N Attack manages to maintain a careful balance between boring character design and bland ugly visuals. All of your enemies are Helghast rejects and the main character looks like something a 13 year old Slipknot fan would doodle in their notebook during class.

The gameplay basically follows suit with the original and expands on next to nothing. The focus is on platforming and melee combat wherein the platforming sucks due to sluggish controls and the combat is boring and repetitive. You can mix up the monotony of shanking countless guards by attempting stealth kills or picking up special weapons like rocket launchers and assault rifles, but it’ll do little to offset the perpetual tediousness of the whole thing throughout each stage.

From the very start of the game, it becomes quickly apparent that Rush’N Attack has nowhere to go but down. The visuals are ugly and look dated, it borrows the majority of its concepts from other better games and it simply is no fun to play. We don’t care how much you enjoyed the original Rush’N Attack. Keep your distance with this one.

Apr 7, 2011

More Info

Release date: Mar 29 2011 - PS3
Mar 30 2011 - Xbox 360 (US)
Mar 29 2011 - PS3
Mar 30 2011 - Xbox 360 (UK)
Available Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360
Genre: Action
Published by: Konami
Developed by: Konami
ESRB Rating:
Mature: Blood, Language, Violence

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10 comments

  • crossed23 - April 9, 2011 3:27 p.m.

    Great review! Thanks for not letting me waste my money on my nostalgic rage that flares up from time to time! Perfect opening sentence for a perfectly crap game! ;)
  • philipshaw - April 9, 2011 1:46 p.m.

    This game looked boring when I watched the quick look on giant bomb, not surprised with that score
  • SlinkyDink - April 9, 2011 8:54 a.m.

    I played the trial, graphics were so fugly. Playing it literally gave me the shits.
  • MancisFrorkYorgan - April 9, 2011 12:10 a.m.

    I don't want to sound picky, but why have you awarded the game an overall score of 3? You've stated that Rush'N Attack Ex-Patriot has little -- if anything -- going for it, but you've still awarded it a 3 out of 10. In the 'You'll love' section you have posted 'The Bowie knife is huge!', which isn't really something which contributes to gameplay value, 'Stealth kills are gruesome', which -- admittedly -- does, and 'Cold War hysteria made for some great 80's movies'. Shouldn't the credit then go to those 'great 80's movies'? Perhaps I'm just finicky.
  • santaclouse37 - April 8, 2011 9:54 p.m.

    The opening line of this review made me spit my Pringles across the desk. You win a Good Writing Award!
  • garnsr - April 8, 2011 9:40 p.m.

    Doesn't the original just make you run right and stab now and then, with occasional climbs up ladders? I never made it through the first level back then, so maybe it gets more varied, but the demo of this remake didn't remind me of the original.
  • miked00d - April 8, 2011 7:50 p.m.

    It's strange, but if you take a step back for a moment and look at what some of our games are based around, it's easy to see why some people go crazy about violence. This is essentially a game about stabbing hundreds of people to death.
  • d0x - April 8, 2011 5:47 p.m.

    I expect this from Activision but not Konami. I was planning on buying this today after work but I guess ill pass. I download every demo that comes out for XBLA but after reading this review im not even going to waste my time.
  • db1331 - April 8, 2011 5:46 p.m.

    "Rush’N Attack: Ex-Patriot is the perfect game for retro fans who enjoyed the 1985 original but wanted it to suck." Best opening line of a review ever.
  • Imthedoctor - April 8, 2011 5:36 p.m.

    FIRST! EVER!! This is gonna be a classic!!! :D xD quick question though, wheres the review of WWE All Stars? :/

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