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Hysteria Hospital: Emergency Ward review

Terrible
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AT A GLANCE
  • Total hysteria!
  • Effective social commentary
  • Very easy
  • Music and effects loop endlessly
  • Gameplay never changes
  • A completely empty experience

Despite the promising name, Hysteria Hospital is nothing to do with Victorian lunatics. Instead, it’s a medical variation on Burger Island where you run around a hospital making beds, delivering prescriptions, putting patients in diagnostic machines and so on. The aim – in what we like to think of as a cleverly damning indictment of the American healthcare system – is to earn as much money as possible by curing as many people as you can within the time limit. Why the ‘damning indictment’? Because this game is so painfully dull that it might subconsciously convince you of the benefits of free healthcare for all.

The music and effects loop endlessly, there are only about six patient sprites (leading to identi-ailers in adjoining beds), and however many gadgets are added for you to buy, the gameplay never changes. Once you’ve figured out a system for processing patients quickly – which won’t take long – you can do this on auto-pilot. A terminal case.

Jul 6, 2009

More Info

Release date: Jun 16 2009 - Wii, PC, DS (US)
Jul 17 2009 - Wii, PC, DS (UK)
Available Platforms: Wii, PC, DS
Genre: Simulation
Published by: Oxygen Interactive
Developed by: Gameinvest
ESRB Rating:
Everyone: Comic Mischief, Mild Language
PEGI Rating:
7+

We Recommend

8 comments

  • MassSaber - September 21, 2009 2:45 p.m.

    If U want a hospital game that make both private and public health care look bad go with Theme Hospital, it must be bloody cheap now. Oh yeah and god save the NHS!!!!
  • ugthecaveman - July 7, 2009 12:25 a.m.

    first
  • Indiana Jones 393 - July 13, 2009 5:15 a.m.

    I wouldn't even bother to look at this review if it weren't for the snide Universal Healthcare comment. And, let me just say, SCREW UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE!!!!!!! Now that I'm done with my political rant for the day, I won't be buying this game.
  • Jedipimp0712 - July 7, 2009 4:48 a.m.

    captcha - indeterminate carboys why did i only write that? the game is not worth speaking of, since my $30 is now wasted ='[
  • GamerTagsSuck - July 7, 2009 3:21 a.m.

    Is it even legal to make crappy versions of already free internet games and sell them for $20-30? I don't think it is.
  • zayleffein - July 7, 2009 2 a.m.

    For every really good DS game there is about 8 crap ones. Why 8? I have no idea. I don't even count the ones I can't read because they are Japanese. The same can be said of the Wii, and quite a few 360 point purchase games. Thanks for being there for me GR, for letting me know when not to buy a cartridge-encased piece of video game shit. ;)
  • Stabby_Joe - July 7, 2009 12:51 a.m.

    PORT* Went mad then.
  • Stabby_Joe - July 7, 2009 12:50 a.m.

    Why can't they just have Theme Hospital report.

Showing 1-8 of 8 comments

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