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  1. Games
  2. Action

How video games would play if you were the bad guy

Features
By Justin Towell published 13 April 2012

Suffice to say there's a reason we play as the hero

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

We play as the hero for a reason

We play as the hero for a reason

Gaming's odds are usually unfairly balanced in favour of the player, because that's what makes them fun. Who would enjoy playing as the ducks in Duck Hunt? Nobody, that's who. But just in case anyone longs to see what it's like from the other side's point of view, we've put together some control schemes for famous video game enemies to see how they'd work. Here are the surprising results...

Page 1 of 9
Page 1 of 9
Bandit controls:

Bandit controls:

Image \u002D RedDeadControls.jpg

The problem with old Marston is that he's got far too much of a conscience. Your regular bandits, however, have no such qualms. You can do pretty much anything you like and still be romantically thought of as a rogue in years to come. Just don't get lassoed and left on the train track with your cronies. Some sick bastards enjoy making YouTube videos of such things. You have been warned, bandit.

Page 2 of 9
Page 2 of 9
Orbinaut controls

Orbinaut controls

Image \u002D OrbinautControls.jpg

The biggest problem with playing as Orbinaut is he's crap. You have four projectiles which must all be fired in one go and never reload, leaving you completely powerless. And you can only move in one direction. Still, many a Sonic has died at the spiky hands of Orbinaut, so some people would love this one...

Page 3 of 9
Page 3 of 9
Colossus controls:

Colossus controls:

Image \u002D ColossusControls.jpg

Let's be honest, the best you can really hope for is stepping on the irritating little prick that's trying to stab you in the brain. That said, critics will fawn over what is obviously such an incredibly worthy, arty, thought-provoking experience. And the PAL version with the art cards would be eBay gold.

Page 4 of 9
Page 4 of 9
Metal Gear Soldier controls:

Metal Gear Soldier controls:

Image \u002D MetalGearSolidControls.jpg

This might actually be a lot of fun. Except for the crippling myopia filter that means you can only see vague shapes outside your tiny cone of vision. This filter can be temporarily reduced by spamming the 'huh?' button. A nail-bitingly tense game of cat and mouse, Metal Gear Soldier is a battle between you, a covert ops specialist and staying the hell awake.

Page 5 of 9
Page 5 of 9
Helghan controls:

Helghan controls:

Image \u002D KillzoneControls.jpg

Can you shoot Sevchenko? Can you avoid getting stabbed despite emptying an entire clip into your foe (see Stabbing through Killzone 2 for the perils you'll face)? But, most importantly, can you find the secret cheat that actually fastens the strap on your helmet? Helghan Soldier - the answer is in your hands!

Page 6 of 9
Page 6 of 9
Zombie controls:

Zombie controls:

Image \u002D ResidentEvilControls.jpg

Try to keep your head (literally) as you stalk the corridors of the deserted mansion, feasting on any living being that crosses your path. With exciting commands like 'urg' and 'arg' at your disposal, Resident Zombie is a dead good way to spend your free time. Rated 'R' for Rotting.

Page 7 of 9
Page 7 of 9
Dragon controls:

Dragon controls:

Image \u002D SkyrimControls.jpg

The most likely game of the bunch to actually happen as DLC. We would buy it. You get to fly around for ages, resurrect some fellow dragons and then go on a killing spree to see if stone beds really are fireproof. We considered calling the game 'Dragonrim' but Dave pointed out that idea was 'perhaps a little too innocently-minded to survive in the internet at large'.

Page 8 of 9
Page 8 of 9
Piranha Plant controls:

Piranha Plant controls:

Image \u002D MarioPiranhaPlantControls.jpg

Fun, thy name is Piranha Plant.

But which other enemies would it be fun to control? And what would you call the game? Let us know in the comments.

Page 9 of 9
Page 9 of 9
CATEGORIES
PlayStation Xbox Platforms
PRODUCTS
Red Dead Redemption Ico and Shadow of the Colossus: The Collection Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty Killzone Red Dead Redemption Resident Evil Shadow of the Colossus
Justin Towell
Justin Towell
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Justin was a GamesRadar staffer for 10 years but is now a freelancer, musician and videographer. He's big on retro, Sega and racing games (especially retro Sega racing games) and currently also writes for Play Magazine, Traxion.gg, PC Gamer and TopTenReviews, as well as running his own YouTube channel. Having learned to love all platforms equally after Sega left the hardware industry (sniff), his favourite games include Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams, Zelda BotW, Sea of Thieves, Sega Rally Championship and Treasure Island Dizzy.

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