FIFA vs PES: The comparison you've never read before

The giants of the beautiful game face off in our footballing farce

That’s right, instead of comparing the two football fests in the usual type of predictable, dull head-to-head contest, where FIFA invariably wins on presentation and PES gets the gameplay nod, we thought we’d take a slightly different approach. So if you’ve ever sat and pondered what game has the campest celebrations, wondered which one has the most shameful stadium or simply want to know which title features the most goal-post shattering strikes from a second choice keeper; then boy do we have the face-off for you. So sit back, put those fan boy-flaming opinions to one side and enjoy a football farce of the highest calibre.

In FIFA’s corner we have the world’s most excitable, and gravel-voiced, Scotsman, Andy Gray, partnered with Martin Tyler, whose shrieks could shatter glass. And in the PES corner we’ve got the Beeb’s most annoying pundit, Mark Lawrenson, backed up by the dreadfully dreary tones of John Champion.

While you get the distinct impression that Misters Gray and Tyler are most likely lovingly caressing each others mics during throw ins, such is their matey, married couple-esque banter, at least they’re backed up by a decent script. As for PES… well, the following nuggets of compelling crap commentary should sum up the quality of Konami’s in-game punditry. And, the less said about a certain type of Midlands cuisine, the better. When it comes to the cringe factor PES is in a league of its own.

The winner is…

The winner is…

Score: 1-1

The winner is…

Score: 1-1

We recommend