Needed co-op because: there were, are and always will be four effing Ninja Turtles.

Above: Missing the point

Flopping in at number one is the most egregious misuse of a popular license; TMNT is a one-player game based on a property that’s been built, from day one, around four mutated heroes. All four are present and playable, but only one person can play the game. There isn’t even a two player option despite there being co-op attacks involving two turtles at a time. Stranger still is the fact that the second turtle, the one you call upon for the co-op special move, literally floats in from the ether, does the move and disappears. Go ninja, go?

TMNT hit in early 2007, not too long after the lucrative franchise celebrated its 20th anniversary. Did Ubisoft think people who grew up with the series have no friends and would be unable to rustle up three pals for such a jubilant milestone? We’ve been doing so since the friggin’ 1989 arcade game, arguing over quarters and beating up kids smaller than us just to steal 50 pathetic cents. Small aside: could beating up little kids be the ultimate co-op?

Above: Four players?!? What kind of futuristic nonsense is this?

There are far better games on this list, but none are as face-palmingly clueless as TMNT. The franchise already has a long history of cooperative games that make smart use of the quartet – from the NES to the upcoming Wii brawler - so what was so damn hard about making one more?

Feb 2, 2009

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