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Dr Who Sex Change

Poll results revealed! Who should be the first female Doctor, and more…

Tomorrow the relaunched SFX hits the newsstand, with a new look, new features and a new energy. On the cover is none other than Matt Smith – the Eleventh Doctor Who – and there’s a special, unique Doctor Who -related sonic treat awaiting you when you open the front cover.

And to celebrate this momentous occasion, SFX .co.uk is continuing the Doctor Who theme with the announcement of the results of our Craziest Ever Doctor Who Poll .

A few weeks back we asked you to vote in a number of categories, all of them less than of Earth-shattering importance, but kinda fun, we hope. Well, they must have been, because we had a massive response. Thank you!

So, drum roll please…

Who would make the best first female Doctor Who?

Certain Doctor Who fans will argue that there has already been a female Doctor Who. Or maybe two. Joanna Lumley played the role in a Comic Relief skit back in 1999, and blimmin’ good she was too, though voters 11 years on seem to have forgotten that. But that was hardly “canon”. And other fans are convinced that River Song (Alex Kingston) will be revealed as a future incarnation of the Doctor, but that’s mere speculation for now (and pretty much debunked by Steven Moffat at the series six preview screening on Saturday).

So instead, you lot have voted Helena Bonham Carter as the woman you’d like to see at the controls of the TARDIS.

Some might argue that Helena Bonham Carter’s whole career has been one long dress rehearsal for the part. The human personification of “wacky”, and with a body seemingly designed to be poured into a bodice, she may have broken into the big time with roles in stately British period pieces but these days she’s the Queen Of Strange. The Doctor has always been an eccentric and actresses don’t come much more eccentric than HBC. That’s why Tim Burton loves her so much. Of all the Doctors so far she is probably most like a female Tom Baker, though we can see little bits of Troughton, Tennant and Smith in there too. What should she wear? A black wedding dress probably.

In second place was Black Books and Episode s star Tamsin Greig who would probably make a far more sarcastic, world-weary Doctor. She always has that slightly distracted look that always makes you think she’s not quite connected with this world, which is the prefect aura for the alien Time Lord. What should she wear? Tie-dyed ’70s garb?

Also popular were Emma Thompson (who would surely put in a very English, Peter Davison style performance, dressed like Nanny McPhee), Ashes To Ashes ’ Keeley Hawes (who we can see as a New Romantic Doctor, more worried about her make-up* and looking unflappable than saving the world) and Harry Potter ’s Emma Watson (the potential St Trinian’s Doctor – we think some voters just never want her to leave the school girl uniform behind).

(* This is NOT a sexist comment – all New Romantics, male or female, were always worried about their make-up.)

Iceland advertiser Kerry Katona didn’t prove very popular, though, except for with those who’d like to see the programme crash and burn.

1 Helena Bonham Carter 14.79%
2 Tamsin Greig 9.5%
3 Emma Thompson 8.54%
4 Keeley Hawes 6.35%
5 Emma Watson 5.87%
6 Jessica Hynes 5.23%
7 Helen Mirren 4.86%
8 Emilia Fox 4.48%
9 Miranda Richardson 4.43%
10 Joanna Lumley 3.26%
11 Miranda Hart 3.2%
12 Anna Friel 3.15%
13 Lenora Crichlow 3.1%
14 Judi Dench 3.1%
15 Gemma Arterton 2.72%
16 Rosamund Pike 2.67%
17 Lady Gaga 2.56%
18 Keira Knightley 2.4%
19 Dawn French 1.98%
20 Sinead Keenan 1.6%
21 Jennifer Saunders 1.44%
22 Lilly Allen 1.28%
23 Meera Syal 0.75%
24 Ruth Jones 0.75%
25 Anne Robinson 0.53%
26 Cheryl Cole 0.43%
27 Joanna Page 0.43%
28 Ruby Wax 0.32%
29 Antonia Thomas 0.21%
30 Kerry Katona 0.05%

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Which Doctor should be invited to the Royal Wedding?

Get some jelly babies on the wedding reception buffet, quick – the Fourth Doctor could be materialising to give the royal nuptials his blessing. We reckon Wills should have him as Best Man. Can you imagine the speech? “I knew your great grandfather. Or was it great, great, great grandfather? Amazing man. We punted together on the Isis. Went round in circles a lot. Are you lot still going round paining your initials on post boxes? Oh dear, you didn’t invite that bore Boris Johnson, did you?”

1 Tom Baker 22.75%
2 David Tennant 20.1%
3 Matt Smith 19.91%
4 Jon Pertwee 7.94%
5 William Hartnell 5.55%
6 Christopher Eccleston 5.55%
7 Paul McGann 4.6%
8 Colin Baker 4.41%
9 Peter Davison 4.03%
10 Patrick Troughton 3.02%
11 Sylvester McCoy 2.14%

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Which Doctor would make the best Prime Minister?

So, Doctor number 10 should be the man in number 10. You probably think we fiddled the figures just so we could do that gag, but no! You’d like to see the man who brought down two governments during his time as the Doctor (Harriet Jones’s and Harold Saxon’s) put his own stamp on running the country. All the little shops in hospitals and museums round the country would certainly get good funding.

1 David Tennant 15.85%
2 Tom Baker 14.27%
3 Christopher Eccleston 12.82%
4 Jon Pertwee 12.06%
5 Peter Davison 10.54%
6 Matt Smith 7.44%
7 Sylvester McCoy 7.37%
8 William Hartnell 6.62%
9 Paul McGann 4.96%
10 Colin Baker 4.27%
11 Patrick Troughton 3.79%

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Which Doctor or Companion Would You Most Like To Be Stranded On A Desert Island With?

The Doctor’s current companion proved to be your favourite castaway companion too, though Doctor 10 proved popular with those who’d prefer a Man Friday. Most impressive performance here, though was from busty original series companion Peri (who travelled with sixth Doctor Colin Baker) in third place; there’s clearly still a lot of raging hormones … er, fondness for her out there. Those in a more practical frame of mind voted for the savage huntress Leela (leather-clad companion to the fourth Doctor, Tom Baker) because her hunting skills would be useful. People who like a good chat favoured the garrulous Doctor Eleven.

1 Amy Pond 17.68%
2 Tenth Doctor (David Tennant ) 15.8%
3 Peri 9.6%
4 Eleventh Doctor (Matt Smith) 7.36%
5 Leela 5.19%
6 Rose Tyler 4.4%
7 Martha Jones 4.04%
8 Ace 3.9%
9 Donna Noble 3.54%
10 Sarah Jane Smith 3.1%
11 Romana 2 2.96%
12 Rory Williams 2.53%
13 K-9 2.38%
14 Zoe 1.95%
15 Romana 1 1.88%
16 Nyssa 1.59%
17 Jo Grant 1.37%
18 Eighth Doctor (Paul McGann) 1.3%
19 Wilfred Mott 1.23%
20 Ninth Doctor (Christopher Eccleston) 1.15%

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Which Doctor Who Monster/Villain Should Replace Simon Cowell On The X-Factor?

The Doctor’s arch enemy The Master only just beat Dalek creator Davros to this coveted role. So rubbish singers can expect to undergo tissue compression rather than extermination. Either way, the audience wins. Personally, we’d love to see the bitchy trampoline Cassandra on the judging panel as well.

1 The Master 18.49%
2 Davros 16.81%
3 A Dalek 14.03%
4 Cassandra 9.63%
5 A Weeping Angel 7.82%
6 The Dream Lord 7.5%
7 Sil 6.14%
8 The Black Guardian 3.68%
9 An Ood 2.84%
10 Sharaz Jek 2.78

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