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24 comments

  • gian-aron - September 7, 2013 7:53 a.m.

    unfunny
  • Rub3z - June 13, 2013 4:44 p.m.

    Just conjured the most hilarious image of Don Mattrick sitting on a stage alongside Maury and a hysterical young woman, with an Xbox One on a table in between them, with the girl shouting down his ear about how she's had to put up with it because of him and how she can't afford the internet to support it, while Maury inquires of him, "Are you the father?"
  • GR_AndyHartup - June 14, 2013 2:53 a.m.

    That would make AWESOME TV.
  • jh4911 - June 13, 2013 3:09 a.m.

    Is it just me who thinks he kinda looks like a raccoon?
  • patbateman17 - June 12, 2013 12:38 p.m.

    I feel like #2 is a real missed opportunity for a Wicker Man reference and photoshop. Or maybe him getting roundhouse kicked by Nic Cage dressed as a bear. Either way, that movie is gold.
  • Sy87 - June 12, 2013 10:08 a.m.

    I vote for making the futuristic robot to hunt him and call it kinect 2.kill.
  • slimjim441 - June 12, 2013 10:03 a.m.

    Ahurr hurr.
  • shawksta - June 12, 2013 9:48 a.m.

    Pretty fun article XD
  • rainn'sgaydar - June 12, 2013 9:25 a.m.

    Beautiful.
  • KA87 - June 12, 2013 8:40 a.m.

    Um......? Wouldn't it actually be better for him to have the Midas Touch because he could then he could turn the XBOX One from a turd to gold.
  • TaserLime - June 12, 2013 8:32 a.m.

    Fun article! I''m happy to see the old spirit of gamesradar is being (minimally) continued. tetris
  • ihopethisisnotantistasblood - June 12, 2013 10:13 a.m.

    this
  • bass88 - June 12, 2013 7:40 a.m.

    Along side this ( http://www.avclub.com/articles/renny-harlin-is-now-battling-brett-ratner-with-his,91980/ ) the Maury Povich slide is my favourite photoshop ever. And whilst not the same, the Xbox One could be the predecessor to ED-209: "You have inserted a preowned disc into Microsoft property. You have 15 seconds to confirm payment!"
  • GR_AndyHartup - June 12, 2013 7:52 a.m.

    I like that AV Club image. A lot.
  • mothbanquet - June 12, 2013 8:26 a.m.

    I wonder if it'll get stuck in stairwells too...
  • BladedFalcon - June 12, 2013 7:20 a.m.

    "we took pity on poor Don" Sorry, but it's kinda hard to feel pity for someone that straight up has said games like these: "Fortunately we have a product for people who aren't able to get some form of connectivity. It's called Xbox 360," (In other words, don't have online? fuck you, we don't care.) "I don't know what to tell you. Those business models exist today and they'll exist in the future." (In other words: SO what if what we're doing is shitty? people have done already and will do it later, so that makes it OK) "If you're backwards compatible, you're really backwards." (In other words: You want a feature we chose to ignore? FUCK YOU) I mean... Dunno if you guys remember that douchebag from ocean Marketing. But no one cut him any slack (not on this site either.) for being a dick to his customers. Why should be any different now? Anyway, amusing article regardless, even though technically, with kinect, Mattrick might as well have started the creation of the T-101 :P
  • PatHan-bHai - June 12, 2013 11:56 a.m.

    Chillax man! You'll have a heart attack. :P
  • CharThom - June 13, 2013 12:10 p.m.

    You can't compare that guy for Ocean Marketting to Mattrick.. Mattrick did his research. Point 1: The largest majority of gamers nowadays have connection to the internet, so connected to the internet every 24 hours won't be an issue for the large majority of people and technically he is correct, there is an offline console, called the Xbox 360 which still will have ongoing support after the release of the Xbox One, you can't tell the tone of his voice through a written interview. Point 2: Yes, Mattrick is using this business model, it already exsists and will do in the future.. The point is he's controlling his business like a... BUSINESS! Just because it's video games, it's still Mattrick's business as he is the President of Interactive Entertainment at Microsoft, it's in his best interest to use a tried and tested formula which will exist now and in the future. Point 3 In a recent interview with Wall Street Journal, Mattrick has got his team to do research (again, a very key word in this reply) and found that only 5% of people played previous generation games on new consoles, it would be wasting company money to add that as it has shown it is rarely done by people. I don't think many people complained that their Sega Megadrive cartridges didn't fit into the Sega Saturn, or the Nintendo 64 cartridges didn't fit into the Wii, it's pointless to add it to new consoles cause times are changing. I wish people would just accept the future!
  • BladedFalcon - June 13, 2013 12:58 p.m.

    Fuck your future, I'll make my own ;) Also, there IS video of him saying that, and he sounds like a douche in it. Also his pasts comments reek of hubris, true or not, saying them like that is super douchy.

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