Zombie Children (Wicked Little Things)
The Spooky Kids: A group of marauding zombie ankle-biters who were buried alive in a mining disaster, and now roam the woods looking for humans to spook. And wouldn’t you just know it? They’ve found some…
If They Were Adults: Sadly, zombies don’t seem to grow out of their brain-munching tendencies, so we’d imagine they’d still be trouble.
Miles & Flora (The Innocents)
The Spooky Kids: The unsettling charges of Debra Kerr’s governess, who proceed to make her life something of a misery. Never work with children, Debra. Never.
If They Were Adults: They could look after themselves. But then who would they have to torment?
Robbie (Paranormal Activity 4)
The Spooky Kid: The next-door neighbour to Alex and Wyatt, who isn’t exactly happy go lucky at the best of times, and is downright unnerving at others. Perhaps they should have a word with his mother…
If They Were An Adult: He’d have to get a haircut for a start. No grown man can successfully pull off the bowl cut.
Little Vampire (30 Days Of Night)
The Spooky Kid: A pint-sized blood-sucker, found by our heroes making a bit of a mess in a convenience store. Back away…
If They Were An Adult: You wouldn’t think twice before plunging a stake through her heart. As it is, you’d probably weigh it up for a second or two before pressing on with the necessaries…
Sharon (Silent Hill)
The Spooky Kid: A troubled and seemingly possessed child who can’t seem to resist wandering off into the mist at the first opportunity. It’ll end in trouble…
If They Were An Adult: She’d at least be sensible enough to stick to well-lit areas, saving her mum a few frayed nerves.
Niles (The Other)
The Spooky Kid: One of a pair of twins, Niles is taught how to harness his psychic abilities by his grandmother. Needless to say, the silly old bat should have left well alone…
If They Were An Adult: Adults know to just smile and nod when an aged relative attempts to tell them something. He’d have been fine.
Melissa (Kill, Baby, Kill)
The Spooky Kid: A vengeful spirit, Melissa is out to exact revenge upon all the inhabitants of a small village who were responsible for her death. Understandable, if a little full-on.
If They Were An Adult: She might not be such a problem, since her power is derived from her mother’s grief. If her mother were six feet under, then problem solved!
Rhoda Penmark (The Bad Seed)
The Spooky Kid: A bratty little kid who doesn’t take kindly to not getting her own way. “Why should I feel sorry?” she remarks regarding a boy she’s killed. “ It was Claude Daigle got drowned, not me.”
If They Were An Adult: She’d be pitching a tantrum on The X-Factor before being dubbed “Britain’s Most Hated Woman” by The Sun .
Tom Riddle (Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince)
The Spooky Kid: A talented but cruel wizard, who amuses himself by torturing his fellow orphans and turns his nose up at authority, unless it suits his purpose to feign obedience. We smell trouble.
If They Were An Adult: They might just turn into the embodiment of evil. Stranger things have happened.
Attic Boy (REC)
The Spooky Kid: The attic-dwelling blighter who ushers in the end credits with a sudden and terrifying appearance out of the shadows. AARGH!
If They Were An Adult: He’d have a little more trouble concealing himself in the shadows, and we might not have had that heart attack.
The Spooky Kid: The lost daughter of renowned psychic Shizuko Yamamura, who comes lurching out of the television when the forbidden videotape is played. Could do with a haircut.
If They Were An Adult: An adult woman crawling out of a well and then flopping out of a television set… yes, she’d still be utterly terrifying.
The Spooky Kid: Dinky Drew Barrymore might have been cute, but she was also a firestarter… a twisted firestarter. She doesn’t mean to be bad, but she’s got one hell of a temper…
If They Were An Adult: She could learn to rein in her powers and use them for good, superhero style!
Eli (Let The Right One In)
The Spooky Kid: A pocket-sized vampire who isn’t bad at heart, but needs to feed to survive… cue severed arteries left and right.
If They Were An Adult: She’d be glammed up and living somewhere in the Deep South. Bon Temps, you say?
Jamie (The Pit)
The Spooky Kid: A disturbed twelve-year-old whose idea of a practical joke is sending pictures of naked women to his teachers. Not the ideal candidate to discover a pit full of man-eating beasties, then. Especially when there are so many people he doesn’t like.
If They Were An Adult: To be honest, there’s nothing to suggest he’d behave any differently with a few more years under his belt. Troubled fellow.
Aidan Kellar (The Ring)
The Spooky Kid: The disconcertingly morose child of Naomi Watts’ protagonist, who grows even more down in the mouth after watching the fateful videotape.
If They Were An Adult: Perhaps he’d have listened to mother and left well alone. Bloody kids and their endless TV…
Kyra Collins (The Sixth Sense)
The Spooky Kid: Poor old Kyra doesn’t mean to be terrifying, but since she appears out of nowhere and begins vomiting, it’s kind of an occupational hazard. She’s a ghost you see, and was poisoned by her step-mother… she’s not had much luck really, has she?
If They Were An Adult: She’d still be scary, but she’d look as Mischa Barton does now… scary then, but hot.
Henry Evans (The Good Son)
The Spooky Kid: Behind his goody-two-shoes act, Henry is a psychological bully, who torments his cousin with death threats while painting him out to be the nutcase to his parents. Played by Macaulay Culkin for added creep value.
If They Were An Adult: He’d be sneaking into women’s changing rooms in search of knickers to sniff. He looks the type.
Nicholas and Anne (The Others)
The Spooky Kids: The pallid, wheezy children of Nicole Kidman’s chilly matriarch, who lurk around in the shadows like a pair of ghosts. So to speak…
If They Were Adults: They’d probably feel a bit cooped up in that house. Now that we mention it, just how old are they?
Tomas (The Orphanage)
The Spooky Kid: “Tomas”, the mask-wearing kid who proceeds to freak the crap out of Belen Rueda. Only too late (SPOILERS AHEAD) does she realise that “Tomas” was actually her son, Simon.
If They Were An Adult: He probably wouldn’t be titting about with a creepy old mask in the first place, thus averting the whole unhappy episode.
Gage Creed (Pet Sematary)
The Spooky Kid: Poor little Gage, who gets splattered by a lorry, buried on ancient Indian land and is reincarnated as a murderous fiend. What a journey!
If They Were An Adult: His Dad would probably have been too frail to embark upon the whole exhumation scheme…
The Spooky Kid: A 14-year-old boy who turns up on Nicole Kidman’s doorstep and announces that he’s the reincarnation of her dead husband. As you do…
If They Were An Adult: Seeing as that trick got him into Kidman’s bathtub as a teenage boy, we can only assume he’d still be using it on other vulnerable beauties…
Island Children (Who Can Kill A Child?)
The Spooky Kid: The killer inhabitants of a mysterious island who terrorise a pair of holidaying Brits. An argument for a staycation if ever there was one.
If They Were Adults: It would be less a horror film and more a BNP public service announcement.
Adam Duncan (Godsend)
The Spooky Kid: Cameron Bright turns in another creepy performance as the starey-eyed clone of Greg Kinnear’s dead son. What could go wrong with that set-up?
If They Were An Adult: The cloning process would probably be more complex, making the end product even dodgier. If that’s possible.
Sam (Trick R Treat)
The Spooky Kid: A big fan of Halloween, Sam takes the old trick or treat thing a bit far, stabbing one luckless punter to death with a half-eaten lollypop. He’s a menace!
If They Were An Adult: He’d probably use a knife instead. Not as tasty but twice as effective.
Brett (Eden Lake)
The Spooky Kid: Not so much spooky as downright terrifying, Brett is the poster-boy for Broken Britain. One minute he’s pissing you off with his music, the next he’s jamming a knife in your gut. We blame violent videogames.
If They Were An Adult: He’d have five more little Bretts running wild and getting the Daily Mail’s knickers in a twist.
Tom (The Awakening)
The Spooky Kid: Shy little Tom might seem like a loveably precocious tyke, but there’s more to him than meets the eye. A bit over-familiar with adults for our liking, too…
If They Were An Adult: His constant questions and wheedling affection would be anything but charming.
Anthony Fremont (The Twilight Zone: The Movie)
The Spooky Kid: A terrifyingly powerful child with the ability to warp reality in accordance with his every whim. He goes to bed when he likes…
If They Were An Adult: He might be a little more reasonable, but children tend to fly off the handle at the slightest provocation…
Alice (Alice Sweet Alice)
The Spooky Kid: Alice loves nothing better than tormenting her younger sibling, until eventually she goes too far and kills her. And then covers it up. And then kills anyone who looks like rumbling her. Hmmm…
If They Were An Adult: She probably wouldn’t get away with it as a grown-up. One of the benefits of a youth… people trust you!
Santi (The Devils Backbone)
The Spooky Kid: The ghostly Santi, a former resident of the orphanage he now haunts. Frightening at first, but nice enough when you get to know him…
If They Were An Adult: An unidentified adult skulking around an orphanage would be unsettling for a whole different host of reasons.
Barto (The Unborn)
The Spooky Kid: Jaunty by name but not so jaunty by nature, Barto is actually a Dibbuk, an evil spirit capable of possessing the bodies of the living and the dead. Nasty piece of work.
If They Were An Adult: Pallid complexion, bleary eyes… you’d probably just take him for a chronic boozer.
Emily (Hide And Seek)
The Spooky Kid: Understandably traumatised by her mum’s suicide, Emily goes even further off the rails when she starts jabbering on about the malicious “Charlie”. Time for the men in white coats…
If They Were An Adult: She’d be sat at the back of the bus, shouting her own name and periodically wetting herself.
Isaac (Children Of The Corn)
The Spooky Kid: The pint-sized cult leader who rallies a mob of local kids and turns them against the town’s hapless adults. The little shit.
If They Were An Adult: He’d have cleaned up his act and focused his energies on a less destructive hobby. Scientology, perhaps…
The Spooky Kid: The unnervingly self-possessed imposter professing to be the missing son of Christine Collins. Needless to say, he’s full of it…
If They Were An Adult: He’d be cold-calling the elderly, badgering them about fictional PPI claims.
Claudia (Interview With The Vampire)
The Spooky Kid: A dying woman transposed into the body of a child, stuck forever in puberty but maintaining all the thoughts, feelings and urges of her adult self. Troubling.
If They Were An Adult: Her role in the “family” would be a hell of a lot less disturbing.
Cole Sear (The Sixth Sense)
The Spooky Kid: Cole might not be very frightening himself, but since he spends his days knocking about with the ghosts of the deceased, we’d say he qualifies as spooky. Big, sad eyes as well.
If They Were An Adult: Google a picture of Haley Joel Osment today if you really want a scare.
The Spooky Kid: The snaggle-toothed, telekinetic son of Emily Blunt’s badass farm girl. Weirdly adult, despite being about five, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry…
If They Were An Adult: Depending on whether anyone has meddled with his timeline or not, he’s only going to get more frightening. Believe us…
The Spooky Kid: A nine-year-old Russian girl who’s weirdly well-informed on sexual matters and, er, kills people. Creepy enough for you?
If They Were An Adult: That’s the thing… she is. A 33-year-old adult woman. Jesus…
David Zellaby (Village Of The Damned)
The Spooky Kid: The Hitler Youth-esque kid at the heart of the alien-influenced crop of youngsters terrorising the titular village. Bad’uns, the lot of them.
If They Were An Adult: He’d dress in a suit, tie and jumper combo… oh, wait.
Karen Cooper (Night Of The Living Dead)
The Spooky Kid: An angelic little zombie who looks as though butter wouldn’t melt… sort of.
If They Were An Adult: She probably wouldn’t take quite so much glee in doing for her parents. You tend to grow out of that kind of thing once you pass the teenage years…
The Baby (Its Alive)
The Spooky Kid: A monstrously deformed baby (the result of some dodgy prescription drugs) that kills when it gets scared. And it scares mighty easy…
If They Were An Adult: Attack of the killer man! Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it?
Toshio (Ju-On: The Grudge)
The Spooky Kid: Ghost boy Toshio, who appears at just the right moment to scare the pants off whoever’s in the general vicinity. What a pest.
If They Were An Adult: The eyeshadow might detract from his scariness somewhat. On a grown man, it just looks comical.
Joshua Cairn (Joshua)
The Spooky Kid: A young fogey of the worst variety, when Joshua isn’t pushing elderly relatives down the stairs, he’s dressing like a middle-aged man on his way to the House of Commons. Regrettable behaviour across the board.
If They Were An Adult: He’d be in the Conservative party. For sure.
The Brood (The Brood)
The Spooky Kids: The murderous offspring of Nola Carveth, who turn their rage on anyone unfortunate enough to displease their mother. The kindergarten scene is one that lingers particularly long in the mind…
If They Were Adults: God knows how devastating they would be. The kids can do enough damage as it is!
Ralphie Glick (Salems Lot)
The Spooky Kid: Poor little Ralphie gets turned into a vampire very early in the movie, and then scares seven shades out of his brother by floating outside his window. Yikes!
If They Were An Adult: The aforementioned scene wouldn’t be quite so scary, somehow.
There something about how his little body fits perfectly into the window frame…
The Twins (The Shining)
The Spooky Kid: The twin girls that Danny sees standing in one of the Overlook’s labyrinthine corridors… and then lying hacked up on the floor.
If They Were Adults: They’d obviously have escaped the hotel and wouldn’t have met a sticky end, courtesy of a well-aimed axe. They might have started dressing individually, too.
Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family)
The Spooky Kid: The oddly-named eldest of the Addams offspring, who enjoys nothing better than trying to off her tubby younger sibling, Pugsley.
If They Were An Adult: If Morticia is anything to go by, she’d still be dressing in black, but she’d probably have outgrown the attempted fratricide. Probably.
The Spooky Kid: The banjo-playing oddball at the beginning of the movie. There’s charmingly precocious and then there’s downright weird…
If They Were An Adult: We’ve seen what his ilk get up to once they outgrow musical instruments. Squeal, piggie…
Danny Torrance (The Shining)
The Spooky Kid: Yeah we know he’s the member of the Torrance family we’re supposed to be rooting for, but he’s still creepy as hell! Redrum redrum REDRUM!
If They Were An Adult: He’d probably be a bit big for that tricycle, which would be something of a blessing…
Regan MacNeil (The Exorcist)
The Spooky Kid: Poor old Regan plays host to a powerful demon that has her getting up to all sorts of antics that no well-brought-up girl would ever dream of performing…
If They Were An Adult: The crucifix scene would be marginally less troubling. Marginally…
Damien Thorn (The Omen)
The Spooky Kid: The mop-topped son of Satan himself, who just can’t help himself when there’s an opportunity for a spot of murder. The little scamp.
If They Were An Adult: Presumably he’d grow steadily more powerful, and would graduate beyond pushing women over banisters into full-on genocide.