That awful, glowing miasma of fire in the sky? That ball of malice is called "the sun," and for a few months out of the year it wanders closer to the earth and lights the surface ablaze. This sinful, awful time is called "the summer," and, for some reason, people take this as an excuse to travel outdoors and do menial activities. It's abhorrent, disgusting, and - most importantly - unnatural.
We officially stand against this. Going outside in the summer is a waste of everyone's time, but just in case you're a fan of some of the terrifying activities people frequently partake in during this so-called "season," we've found some solutions you can enjoy from the comfort (and safety) of your own home.