Videogame crime report, 2007

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So much game-related crime, and GTA4 isn't even out yet

Date: 1st June, 2007

Location: Haileah, Florida

Crime: Burglary

Details: Boy defends PlayStation 3 with samurai sword

Okay, we are not playing Soul Calibur 4 withthis guy. Teenage Damian Hernandez and his sister were in the house alone when a knock on the door turned into the wrenching open of said wood-based portal. Clearly, this wasn’t the postman, unless he was really excited about delivering mail that day.

The stunned burglar ran out of the house and along the street, where he was eventually found hiding behind a palm tree by police. Presumably the large pool of blood gave him away.

Damian slept as his sister hid from the non-too-subtle would-be burglarsby sheltering in herwardrobe, but was eventually awoken as they ransacked the house, finding and taking his PS3. Clearly realising, as any of us would, that the two burglars had now massively over-stepped the mark, he took hold of the katana hanging in his room, Metal Geared his way into a doorway and waited for the on-coming criminal. He then lunged outfrom the shadows and stabbed the swine in the chest for massive damage and a bagful of EXP.

The stunned burglar ran out of the house and along the street, where he was eventually found hiding behind a palm tree by police. Presumably the large pool of blood gave him away.

David Houghton
David Houghton
Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.