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The 25 best movie insults for that perfect comeback

In the Loop (2009)

The insult: “I've come across a lot of psychos, but none as boring as you. You’re a real boring fuck. Sorry, sorry, I know that you disapprove of swearing, so I’ll sort that. You are a boring f-star-star-CUNT!” 

Barely a sentence goes past Malcolm Tucker's lips without it containing a scathing zinger that'd have even the most hardened tough guy feeling a bit blue. This one is superb. Combining both his prowess for digging deep into making his insults personal and also rather creative!

14. Sexy Beast (2000)

The insult: “Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fucking neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a fucking suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? You should be ashamed of yourself.” 

Ben Kingsley absolutely slays as Sexy Beast's gangster Don Logan. In this particular diatribe, he dishes out some hard truths to Ray Winstone's Gal, pushing right where it hurts - his bronzed beer belly.

13. Bad Santa (2003)

The insult: “You’re an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dogshit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly.” 

Sometimes life demands that you're brutally honest. It can't be hard. But for Willie's partner-in-crime, it's not. He's not afraid to tell him the truth of his predicament. Hey, when the shoe fits...

12. Scarface (1983)

The insult: "Even if I were blind, desperate, starved and begging for it on a desert island, you'd be the last thing I'd ever fuck."

This is certainly one way to spice up a potential future relationship. As Elvira Hancock, Michelle Pfeiffer absolutely reams Tony Montana, rebutting his sleazy advances with an ego-bruisin' put-down.

11. The Ref (1994)

The insult: “You know what Mom, you know what I’m going to get you next Christmas? A big wooden cross, so every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.” 

A underseen comedic gem, The Ref's cast are what makes the script properly zing in all the right places. In his inimitable cadence, Kevin Spacey issues a real corker to his mother. And it's Christmas, too!

10. Good Will Hunting (1998)

The insult: "See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years, you’re gonna start doing some thinking of your own, and you’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don’t do that. And two, you dropped 150 grand on a fuckin’ education you could’ve got for $1.50 in late charges at the public library."

Matt Damon's uber-brainy janitor issues a smackdown of truth to a rattail-wearing yuppie, after he overhears the guy trying to impress a woman (Minnie Driver's Skylar) by repeating lofty opinions he read in a college textbook. A book that Will happened to read for free. Boom.

9. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

The insult: “You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling?"

Lecter's passive-aggressive slur to Starling is one of the greats; it's creative, it shows he's paid attention, the words sound researched... and it's mean as hell. This just goes to show that you don't need to drop F-bombs to really cause a stir.

8. Parenthood (1989)

The insult: "I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree."

As Julie (Martha Plimpton) and her mom (Dianne Wiest) continue to brawl over, well, everything, her boyfriend (Keanu Reeves) barges in and claims that she actually lives with him. This is her response. 

7. In Bruges (2008)

The insult: “Let's face it - and I mean no disrespect - you’re a cunt. You’re a cunt now, you’ve always been a cunt and the only thing that’s gonna change is you’re gonna become an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.” 

Everyone, at some point in their lives, has wanted to really lay it out for their boss. Get all the years of pent-up angst off their chests. For In Bruges' seasoned hitman Ken, he goes to town on his superior with a type of nonchalance towards the c-word that's frankly breathtaking.

6. Army of Darkness (1992)

The insult: “Well hello Mister Fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.” 

Ash's medieval retort has a certain cleverclogs feel to it. It works, because the entire Evil Dead franchise has forced the antihero to walk a fine line between kinda cool and utter buffoon.

Gem Seddon

I'm GamesRadar+'s west coast Entertainment News Reporter. I'm a bit obsessed with all things Aliens and Terminator. You can find my byline on our best Netflix movies and best Netflix shows lists.