Slender: The Arrival creeps onto Xbox One today, a remastered version of the that focuses the horror of the collect 'em all shriekathon by polishing up visuals that once made us want to be sick.
Slender's a remarkable project in many ways, not least the fact that it's almost certainly the first successful game based on a series of badly-spelled anonymous internet posts, part of the phenomenon known as Creepypasta. Which leads to one inevitable conclusion - if the floodgates have opened, and denizens of Reddit, 4Chan and god knows what dank webholes are now games writers, what other Creepypasta gems could become a game? Join me on this gallery-based thrill-ride to find out.
The Angel
The Source: One of the pre-eminent Creepypastas, The Angel is the heartwarming story of a family, a babysitter and a mysterious statue. As in any good internet horror story, more than 50% of that cast list ends up dead, and the statue disappears.
The Game: Video games tend to remove the nuances of any story they touch, so I see this as a natural fit for an old school shooter. Take on the role of the courageous babysitter as she soups up a hairdryer and sets fire to multiple angels before they disappear, kill children or steal all the food in the fridge, losing you your once-weekly evening job.
Polybius
The Source: This video game-centred horror story is so old, people call it an urban myth, which - for the younger people among you - is sort of like a Creepypasta, but with a lower chance of a bleeding Sonic the Hedgehog turning up. It centres on a long-lost arcade cabinet that sends people insane, first through addiction, then a series of psychological terrors.
The game: This one's easy - just recreate what the game must have been like upon its release in the '80s. Obviously, gamers are hardened to ultra-realistic horrors these days, so it'll probably just be a tame platformer featuring lots of skulls and the Devil saying a swear word.
Basically any chain letter
The Source: You know the deal. You read a story about a young boy that died in tragic circumstances who, upon entering an everlasting afterlife, bafflingly decides to kill people who don't forward letters about his demise onto lesser friends. Classic.
The Game: I see this as a sort of reverse-Slender. You start the game with 8 letters and have to distribute them to slightly irritated bystanders before you're killed by a variety of ghost children, dismembered nuns and the physical manifestation of printer ink scarcity.
This BBC news story
The Source: Sometimes, reality is more terrifying than anything the human mind can conjure. Just read this news story from 2010. If you can't be bothered, here's the first paragraph: "A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said." On the surface, it's exquisite - but imagine the horror of watching a terrified mini-dog soaring towards men I am assuming are grumpy most of the time. Chilling.
The Game: Basically, I see this as a cross between WarioWare and a TellTale game. You're given weird, weird situations and told to resolve them as quickly and insanely as possible. I'm genuinely excited by this.
Then who was phone?
The Source: The greatest, most thought-provoking Creepypasta of all time. Here it is: "So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?"
The Game: Go around threatening people until they crack under the pressure and finally admit the truth - they were phone.