It took me 26 years to beat my all-time hardest JRPG nemesis, and now I'm both delighted and devastated

The Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth trailer that aired during the most recent State of Play showcase really put me in the mood for my return to Midgar. That pilgrimage is inevitable. As a long-serving devotee of Square Enix's seminal 1997 JRPG, I'll eventually get round to playing the Final Fantasy 7 Remake of 2020, before rolling straight into its incoming 2024 sequel. I'll revel in reuniting with Cloud and Barret and Tifa and more, and I'll roll up my sleeves as I put its fiercest foes to the sword, this time some four console generations down the line. 

Whenever talk of Final Fantasy 7's modern day reimagining kicks off, I always say that despite being a fan of the last millennium original, I'm waiting for all three of its planned installments to land before diving in. But I've been living a lie. Because, actually, the main reason I've not cracked the case on the Remake more than three years after it first graced PS4 consoles (and two years since its souped-up Intergrade hit PS5) is because I still have unfinished business with the OG. Well, I did have unfinished business. That's now sorted. And now I'm totally at a loose end.

Gladiators, ready

Ruby Weapon. Even writing the bastard's name down is enough to boil my blood and send a shiver down my spine. The red behemoth beastie who lurks in the sand next to the Gold Saucer has haunted my day dreams and nightmares for 26 years; since I was 11-and-a-half years old, and was still in Year Seven (6th Grade) at school. 

After my first runthrough all those years ago, I replayed Final Fantasy 7 in 2001 (PS1), 2005 (PS2 via backwards compatibility), 2010 (PSP), and 2017 (PC), before my current run on the Nintendo Switch that I've dipped in and out of since the Christmas break of last year. Until now, Ruby and its underwater pal, Emerald Weapon, have left me on the floor more than I care to admit – with me trying and failing to prevail umpteen times, before giving up and heading to the final reckoning with Sephiroth with the two optional superbosses still standing. 

Until now. Even writing that down is enough to sooth my mind and send butterflies rushing through my stomach. I've read elsewhere online that the likes of Final Fantasy 10's Seymour Flux and Yunalesca are harder boss battles than Ruby Weapon; that Final Fantasy 8's Omega is one of the series' stiffest showdowns, and that FF11's Absolute Virtue is the most difficult big bad in these games' storied history. But, having eventually prevailed in all of those bouts, I just don't agree. For me, Ruby is top of the pile – with Emerald a close second.

The route to success in both of these bouts is well-documented in 2023, across wikis, guides, YouTube videos and more, but it's worth remembering that this wasn't the case back in 1997. The mainstream commercial internet and its myriad instantaneous search engines didn't exist then as they do today, and while the likes of GameFAQs was officially rolled out in the winter of 1995 in the US, I don't think I became aware of it personally until the early 2000s. 

I remember texting a mate during my 2001 playthrough – on my Nokia 3310 handset at 10 pence-an-SMS, no less – to ask about breeding the Golden Chocobos needed to access the Materia Cave that houses the Knights of the Round summon. He'd learned the order from reading a guide magazine at the time, and I was sure that with this summon in my arsenal, I'd flatten Ruby and Emerald in quick succession. Of course, without any semblance of a battle plan beyond simply carrying Knights of the Round on my person, I was quickly shown the game over screen time and time again. 

During my subsequent playthroughs, I just didn't have it in me to pursue my nemesis. Breeding a Golden Chocobo takes ages for a start, and even with Knights of the Round in tow, so too does leveling your party and tooling them up with a winning combination of spells and magic. I started my current playthrough with zero expectations, but after studying forum posts, wikis and YouTube videos over time – shout out to Jegged, and 4-8Productions especially – I decided this was it. It was now or never.

Rubies are dead 

To be perfectly frank, I was half-resigned to never. But by the time I'd gotten my ducks in a row – scouring the corners of the world map to obtain Knights of Round, Mime, W-Summon, Dazers, the Phoenix summon materia, and elixirs to name but some of the stuff needed to topple Ruby Weapon once and for all – I felt ready. 

Okay, deep breath…

I entered the battle with all but one character standing (me as Cloud; so as to circumvent Ruby's Whirlsand attack that removes party members from the fight entirely). I threw out Dazers to temporarily paralyze my foe. I cast the Phoenix summon with Life2 linked, so as to raise my other party members, Tifa and Yuffie, from the dead. With Tifa back in play, I cast W-Summon Knights of the Round – letting me deal the game's most powerful summon twice in-a-row. Cloud was back up next, using Mime to replicate Tifa's double Knights of the Round; and then Yuffie did the same. 

Between times, I made sure to keep Ruby's physical attacks at bay with shots of Dazers, while sharing elixirs among my team every time the boss hit us with Ultima and Ruby Flame spells; or its pincer tails hit us with MP-draining attacks from behind. On the occasions when one of my party fell in battle, I'd make sure to Phoenix Down them as quickly as possible, and I mostly ignored Limit Breaker opportunities bar Cloud's Omnislash. A few more Knights of the Round W-Summon + Mime + rise and repeats later, and I received this:

You can practically hear the hissing dead-boss noise through that image alone, right? The word glorious doesn't do it justice. After putting Ruby in the dirt where it belongs, I grabbed the Underwater Materia and enacted a similar deadly strategy on Emerald Weapon. Another victory, and another great feeling. And yet, after claiming the scalps of two of the JRPG genre's toughest, most unforgiving bosses after 26 years of on-and-off attempts, I'm now delighted and devastated. My Final Fantasy 7 white whale has finally been harpooned – so where does that leave me? 

Rewatching the most recent Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth trailer reminded me exactly where it leaves me. "A Weapon?" asks an awestruck Tifa, after spotting a reworked and restyled Emerald Weapon swimming around the Sea Floor. "Tutelary creatures," says a voice off-screen, "said to only appear when the planet is in grave danger".

If ever there was a call to action, it's surely that. Emerald and Ruby: I'm coming for you guys all over again… with 26 years of experience under my belt.

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