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If videogame hardware was dug up in a thousand years

Features
By Justin Towell published 18 February 2011

Paperweights? Birth control? Let our 3011 exhibition reveal all!

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Let's face it, archaeologists are full of it. "See those small walls? Right, that was a kitchen where the king of Wales used to eat dodo eggs. Whole." Thing is, nobody can disprove it because they weren't there. So what would archaeologists of the future say if they dug up today's gaming peripherals? Let's step into the future and take a look:

Date: February 18,3011 AD

Homo-sapiens died out in 2012AD after a magnetic pole reversal had an unexpected EMP effect onthe then-establishedglobal communication network, believed by many to have been called 'teh interwebs'. Civil unrest ensued when the previously socially inactive citizens were forced to communicate face to face. The resulting epidemic of awkwardness kick-started a daisy chain of social revulsion, which eventually led to full-blown nuclear war. The planet was wiped clean and, after the fallout had dissipated, our forefathers emerged from the fallout shelters. They were sadly mutated by the radiation that covered the land,which is why we no longer call ourselves homo-sapiens, butthe brave children of our illustrious forefathers began rebuilding the world into the society we know today.

Almost all physical history books had been converted into digital data by the time the war began, and with the communications network destroyed, very little is known about how this ancient civilisation functioned. Fortunately,archaeological finds have given us a few pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. This is what we are exhibiting today, so please take your time and try to imagine yourself as one of the people who used these ancient devices.

Article continues below
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18 Feb, 2011

Date: February 18,3011 AD

Homo-sapiens died out in 2012AD after a magnetic pole reversal had an unexpected EMP effect onthe then-establishedglobal communication network, believed by many to have been called 'teh interwebs'. Civil unrest ensued when the previously socially inactive citizens were forced to communicate face to face. The resulting epidemic of awkwardness kick-started a daisy chain of social revulsion, which eventually led to full-blown nuclear war. The planet was wiped clean and, after the fallout had dissipated, our forefathers emerged from the fallout shelters. They were sadly mutated by the radiation that covered the land,which is why we no longer call ourselves homo-sapiens, butthe brave children of our illustrious forefathers began rebuilding the world into the society we know today.

Almost all physical history books had been converted into digital data by the time the war began, and with the communications network destroyed, very little is known about how this ancient civilisation functioned. Fortunately,archaeological finds have given us a few pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. This is what we are exhibiting today, so please take your time and try to imagine yourself as one of the people who used these ancient devices.

18 Feb, 2011

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Justin Towell
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Freelance Writer

Justin was a GamesRadar+ staffer for 10 years but is now a freelance writer, musician and videographer. He's big on retro, Sega and racing games (especially retro Sega racing games) and currently also writes for Play Magazine, Traxion.gg, PC Gamer and TopTenReviews, as well as running his own YouTube channel. Having learned to love all platforms equally after Sega left the hardware industry (sniff), his favourite games include Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams, Zelda BotW, Sea of Thieves, Sega Rally Championship and Treasure Island Dizzy.

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