He’s Just Not That Into You is not a film. It’s a very, very long episode of Sex And The City. But already, we’re giving it too much credit.
Based on an almost-certainly awful ‘self-help’ bestseller, this romcom sprang from a line of dialogue in an episode of Sex And The City. That’s right. Not even an episode. Just a line. Talk about making a little go a long way.
And yet here are some of Hollywood’s biggest (good-looking) support actors. Frisky yoga instructor Scarlett Johansson is having an affair with married guy Bradley Cooper, instead of settling down with her sincere boyfriend Kevin Connolly, who went on a date with unlucky-in-love Ginnifer Goodwin, but should probably be with Drew Barrymore anyway.
Wait, it goes on. Kind-hearted Ben Affleck doesn’t want to marry his long-time partner Jennifer Aniston, who works with over-serious home decorator Jennifer Connelly, whose husband is having an affair with Scarlett Johansson...
And on, and on, and on. Frighteningly, He’s Just Not That Into You feels like it could go on forever. Even more frighteningly, it nearly does. For two hours and nine minutes you’ll never get back.
But somehow, despite a script brimming with half-truths about the rules of relationships, this classy cast strike a few genuine sparks of amusement and emotion out of nothing.
Aniston makes you wish she’d take more serious roles more often. Justin Long is charismatic as a lothario bar-manager with all answers. Connelly’s fractured expression when she discovers Cooper’s infidelity (gasp, spoiler!) is way too good for this kind of movie.
Shame these flashes of wit and observation are smothered by smug voice-overs, walking clichés masquerading as real people, mock woman-on-the-street interviews and - worst of all - another depressingly inane representation of modern woman. Shoes. Oooh! Weddings. Aaah! Men. Sob...