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20 Creepy Movie Dolls

By Simon Kinnear 2010-10-27T15:00:00.299ZMovie 

Kill them! Kill them with fire!

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A Fright to Remember

A Fright to Remember

Oh Dear God What Is It? Kate Winslet as Rose from Titanic . See, she's crying for Leo.

What It Actually Looks Like: Jake Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas , stuck in a fright wig and smothered in rouge.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: Her cadaverous mourning would haaunt all ships that sail the seas.

Page 1 of 22
Page 1 of 22
Harry Rotter

Harry Rotter

Oh Dear God What Is It? Daniel Radcliffe as Hogwarts hero Harry Potter, plus friend.

What It Actually Looks Like: Ozzy Osbourne dressed as a Victorian bodysnatcher. Hedwig the owl looks like a melted ice cream.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: It'd perform malicious magic shows in Vegas that ended in the audience's mass suicide.

Page 2 of 22
Page 2 of 22
Harry Rotter

Harry Rotter

Oh Dear God What Is It? Daniel Radcliffe as Hogwarts hero Harry Potter, plus friend.

What It Actually Looks Like: Ozzy Osbourne dressed as a Victorian bodysnatcher. Hedwig the owl looks like a melted ice cream.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: It'd perform malicious magic shows in Vegas that ended in the audience's mass suicide.

Page 3 of 22
Page 3 of 22
Harry Rotter

Harry Rotter

Oh Dear God What Is It? Daniel Radcliffe as Hogwarts hero Harry Potter, plus friend.

What It Actually Looks Like: Ozzy Osbourne dressed as a Victorian bodysnatcher. Hedwig the owl looks like a melted ice cream.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: It'd perform malicious magic shows in Vegas that ended in the audience's mass suicide.

Page 4 of 22
Page 4 of 22
Tres Shriek

Tres Shriek

Oh Dear God What Is It? Audrey Hepburn reprises her role as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's. More like Horror Golightly.

What It Actually Looks Like: An android prostitute.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: She'd be dumping the bodies in the Moon River.

Page 5 of 22
Page 5 of 22
Licensed to Go Kill-Crazy

Licensed to Go Kill-Crazy

Oh Dear God What Is It? Daniel Craig as 007.

What It Actually Looks Like: A Mount Rushmore head in a blonde wig.

He'd If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: He'd wouldn't need to give it orders, which is just as well since Bond's ears seem to be blocked in.

Page 6 of 22
Page 6 of 22
Cell Block Slaughter

Cell Block Slaughter

Oh Dear God What Are They? Catherine Zeta Jones and Renee Zellweger, aka Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart in 2002 musical Chicago .

What They Actually Look Like: Hideously botched scientific experiments. Zeta Jones' head has been swapped for an extra-terrestrial grey, while Zellweger's has been stung by a hundred poisonous bees.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of Them: "I can't do it alone," hisses Velma, but with Roxie in tow they two can maim, dismember, all that jazz.

Page 7 of 22
Page 7 of 22
Kill Bill and Ben, The Flowerpot Men

Kill Bill and Ben, The Flowerpot Men

Oh Dear God What Is It? Quentin Tarantino's muse, Uma Thurman.

What It Actually Looks Like: A reanimated Bodyworks exhibit.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: A roaring rampage of revenge against everyone in Britain who didn't go to see Motherhood . Congratulations to the lucky eleven people who did; you're safe.

Page 8 of 22
Page 8 of 22
With Great Power Comes Chilling Evil

With Great Power Comes Chilling Evil

Oh Dear God What Is It? Tobey Maguire, clearly bummed out because he isn't Spidey anymore.

What It Actually Looks Like: The disconcerting thousand-yard-stare of a serial killer geek.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: He would lead a miniature army of shunned icons, including Brian Cox's Hannibal Lecter and Val Kilmer's Batman.

Page 9 of 22
Page 9 of 22
Off Her Jolie Rocker

Off Her Jolie Rocker

Oh Dear God What Is It? Sex siren Angelina Jolie, less Tomb Raider than dragged out of a tomb.

What It Actually Looks Like: As if a seahorse was mated with a lion.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: She'd probably kick his arse. She's scary.

Page 10 of 22
Page 10 of 22
Please turn out the Twilight

Please turn out the Twilight

Oh Dear God What Are They? Twi-lifers Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart).

What They Actually Look Like: Unnatural, unborn killers. The attempt at genuine chest fuzz on Pattinson only makes the whole thing more terrifying.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of Them: He'd have them re-enact the Twilight films in your nightmares, every single night.

Page 11 of 22
Page 11 of 22
It's not blood, it's Scarlett

It's not blood, it's Scarlett

Oh Dear God What Is It? Handily, this one comes with a photo of the original, to prove it's Scarlett Johansen.

What It Actually Looks Like: The biologically impossible lovechild of Jodie Foster and Avril Lavinge.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: The world's leaders would quickly surrender in the face of her threat to make sequels to The Island , The Spirit and Scoop .

Page 12 of 22
Page 12 of 22
We're not in Kansas anymore

We're not in Kansas anymore

Oh Dear God What Is It? Judy Garland as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz .

What It Actually Looks Like: Hilary Swank, so hell-bent on winning Oscar #3 she'd even kill Toto.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: Murders in the style of Oz - houses dropped on passers-by, boiling water in the face, specially trained monkey assassins...

Page 13 of 22
Page 13 of 22
Depp-ravity

Depp-ravity

Oh Dear God What Is It? Everybody's favourite pirate, Johnny Depp.

What It Actually Looks Like: A predatory salsa teacher.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: He'd appear unannounced at children's schools and make them dance until they cried.

Page 14 of 22
Page 14 of 22
McGonagall to Hell

McGonagall to Hell

Oh Dear God What Is It? Hogwarts' Deputy Head Minerva McGonagall, as played by Maggie Smith.

What It Actually Looks Like: An albino egg on stilts.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: Muggles beware! This one will go loco with unmentionable curses.

Page 15 of 22
Page 15 of 22
Leedle foe

Leedle foe

Oh Dear God What Is It? Tony Montana, aka Al Pacino.

What It Actually Looks Like: A perma-tanned disco dancer fallen on hard times.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: The X Factor would have its sternest judge ever; perform badly and face Tony's 'leedle friend.'

Page 16 of 22
Page 16 of 22
Dark Arterton

Dark Arterton

Oh Dear God What Is It? Gemma Arterton, in her guise of Prince of Persia's Princess Tamina.

What It Actually Looks Like: A haunted tree.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: That St Trinian's mischief and cunning goes global, with a death trap around every corner.

Page 17 of 22
Page 17 of 22
Dunst Check Out

Dunst Check Out

Oh Dear God What Is It? Spidey's ex-screen sweetheart, Kirsten Dunst.

What It Actually Looks Like: A squashed potato. In a wig.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: Savagery disguised in sweetness, this demented Dunst will turn her enemies to dust.

Page 18 of 22
Page 18 of 22
The Pitts

The Pitts

Oh Dear God What Is It? Brad Pitt's Detective Mills from Se7en .

What It Actually Looks Like: A sad burns victim.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: Benjamin Button-style, he'd infiltrate families, terrorise them, and then sneak off because nobody's looking for someone who gets younger.

Page 19 of 22
Page 19 of 22
You've gotta be Kid-ding

You've gotta be Kid-ding

Oh Dear God What Is It? Aussie queen Nicole Kidman.

What It Actually Looks Like: An air hostess turned homicidial from too many long-haul flights.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: Everybody in the world would be forced to live with Tom Cruise for a decade.

Page 20 of 22
Page 20 of 22
Mort

Mort

Oh Dear God What Is It? You can call him Strider, or Aragorn, but really his name is Viggo Mortensen.

What It Actually Looks Like: A greasy biker on a medieval re-enactment weekend.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: Mankind would have to fight Viggo in a naked Turkish bath a la Eastern Promises .

Page 21 of 22
Page 21 of 22
Hell Hathaway no fury

Hell Hathaway no fury

Oh Dear God What Is It? Anne Hathaway, a long way from The Princess Diaries .

What It Actually Looks Like: The owl-woman of doom.

If The Puppet Master Got Hold Of It: The Devil would stop wearing Prada and accessorise with human skin.

Page 22 of 22
Page 22 of 22
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