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Jun 25, 2008

Hail to the Chimp

360 Review

360 - Hail to the Chimp - Hail to the Chimp

Did you ever order lobster bisque in a fancy restaurant and then have bubble gum-flavored ice cream with gummi bears on top for dessert? Of course not; it's a mismatch. Hail to the Chimp seems to be making the same attempt to merge two worlds, combining kiddie-style, action-packed minigames with a plot and setting that spoofs the electoral process in a way only adults have a chance of appreciating.

In an election to select the ...

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Dec 18, 2007

Half-Life 2

360 Review

If Half-Life 2's nerdy protagonist Gordon Freeman is going to save the world, he's gonna need more than the crowbar he began the last game wielding. Thankfully, weapon upgrades in this first-person shooter come lightning quick. Gordon barely gets to take in any the sights and sounds of City 17 (a quarantined, run-down district ruled by gas-masked soldiers apparently called the "Combine") before he starts blasting, bashing, and exploding the living hell out of everything in sight. It's not his ...
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Dec 18, 2007

Half-Life 2: Episode One

360 Review

Originally posted on June 1, 2006 Anyone who completed Half-Life 2 - one of the most accomplished games ever made - was left with more than a few niggling questions. Did you actually save City 17? Will hero Gordon Freeman escape from the G-Man? And did Alyx Vance, the game's leading lady, end up on the wrong end of a thermonuclear explosion? We needed answers and, finally, we've got them. Half-Life 2: Episode One is the first in a trilogy of games that continue the story of Half-Life 2 - ...
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Oct 9, 2007

Half-Life 2: Episode Two

360 Review

Oct 9, 2007 It's surreal that Valve are still churning out more Half-Life 2, three years on. As beautifully crafted as Episode One was, it did tread on a lot of its parent's toes. Episode Two certainly doesn't do that. It turbos away from them at 90 miles an hour in a customised Dodge Charger, with Alyx riding shotgun. We won't spoil any details, but Ep2 is what happens after you and Alyx break free of City 17 once and for all. The setting for most of your previous adventures is nothing more ...
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Sep 23, 2007

Halo 3

360 Review

Halo 3 is here. The wait for the most anticipated game of all time is finally over. The fight is about to be finished. And right now, across the world, the hopes and happiness of millions hinge on the answer to one simple question: Is it good? Or perhaps, Is it as good as we want it to be? We won't leave you hanging a second longer. The answer to both is yes - a huge and resounding yes. Every type of Halo fan, from the hardcore to the casual to the brand new, will find something to satisfy ...
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Aug 13, 2008

Happy Tree Friends: False Alarm

360 Review

360 - Happy Tree Friends: False Alarm - Happy Tree Friends: False Alarm

Do not buy this game. We’ll explain why, but it’s important that we get that out of the way to begin with. Put your credit card back in its plastic sheath, so we can talk with less urgency. Happy Tree Friends: False Alarm is about $10 (including various taxes). For that, you get 30 levels, each taking between one or two minutes. ...

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Apr 17, 2006

Hardwood Backgammon - Xbox Live Arcade

360 Review

It's not easy to improve on an age-old standard, so when we downloaded Hardwood Backgammon from the Xbox Live Arcade, our expectations were measured. To achieve greatness in its class, Hardwood Backgammon would have to not only play brilliantly on Xbox Live, but also dazzle us with some cool graphics, nifty animations and clever online innovations. And it did that. Sort ...
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Apr 20, 2006

Hardwood Hearts - Xbox Live Arcade

360 Review

Poker may be getting all the good press lately, but there's another game with its own semi-secret support society, a game of deceit, power, cunning and blatant tricks. You wouldn't know it to look at it, but the candy-colored Hardwood Hearts is a strategy monster. A favorite for years, Hearts is a trump card game, meaning that all four players are racing to collect certain cards while avoiding others - namely, hearts. If you feel like a daredevil, you can intentionally try to take all the ...
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Apr 19, 2006

Hardwood Spades - Xbox Live Arcade

360 Review

Spades is simple: bid for a certain amount of tricks, then take them with your partner while avoiding unwanted bags and feel free to pass when bidding nil. Yeah, we didn't get it either, but the tutorial built into Hardwood Spades tells you exactly how to play this classic trump card game in about 10 minutes. Guess what? It's ...
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Jun 28, 2007

Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix

360 Review

To be frank, if you dont know your Dumbledore from your Dementors, your Sirius Black from your Severus Snape, or your Hagrid from your Hermione then youre advised to run far, far away from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. In the fifth and most recent game tie-in, there are absolutely no concessions to Potter virgins. New characters are at a premium, so instead of getting bogged down introducing more eccentrics on top of an already bloated cast, youre immediately thrown into the ...
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