Getting reamed by a 2x4 isnt the only way to fall into a coma
There are two only two ways to truly fall into a deep slumber. The first, to get knocked out by an unseen assailant. The second, to succumb to the siren call of the tryptophan coursing through your blood as youre rocked gently to sleep in the aftermath of Thanksgiving dinner. And for that single solitary med student that reads this, you can just shut your hole, everyone already knows that tryptophan has little to no affect on the human physiology. Jesus youre always such a partypooper.
If getting ready for your Thanksgiving dinner proves to be too much of a hassle, why not invite your favorite video game characters to come help you out? No promises that everything will go according to plan though. Click on to find out how Thanksgiving affects even the most hardened video game characters out there.
What would he bring: Chocolate bars, batteries, and apples
How he would embarrass your family: By taking over the task of doling out your familys foodstuffs while feigning that he never wanted the responsibility.
The cast from Gauntlet Legends
What would they bring: Meat. All meat, every meat.
How they would embarrass your family: By trying to throw holy water at your grandma after mistaking her for death.
Tidus from FFX
What would he bring: his womanly tears
How he would embarrass your family: HA HA HA. HAHA. HA.
What would he bring: Pac-dots, aka Kix cereal
How he would embarrass your family: By bringing his ghouly in-laws along without permission
What would she bring: leafy greens plucked from her body...she ran out of time to go to the store.
How she would embarrass your family: By making not-so-secret lewd gestures at you involving turkey bones.
What would he bring: Bottles of water
How he would embarrass your family: By stealing a box of nails, a lighter, and the turkey carver in order to jimmy rig a slightly worse turkey carver
Sonic the Hedgehog
What would he bring: Chili Dogs, or just raw insects because hes a hedgehog and thats what they actually eat?
How he would embarrass your family: By slipping tablets of speed into everyones drink. GOTTA GO FAST.
What would he bring: Eggs. Because he looks like one and therefore has decided to appropriate the joke instead of being the butt of it.
How he would embarrass your family: Hed actually be very respectful and shy since this is the first time hes been invited to a holiday gathering.
Gabriel and Simon Belmont
What would they bring: Blood oranges and bloody marys
How they would embarrass your family: Theyd make terrible puns about how they were dying to meet the family.
Super Meat Boy
What would he bring: Probably should have read more into the invitation that said, Well have you for dinner.
How he would embarrass your family: By screaming as you roasted him alive. Ugh, please.
The Spider from Limbo
What would it bring: LIVE BIRDS
How it would embarrass your family: LIVE BIRDS
What would he bring: Quite the scrumptious mixed berry turnover.
How he would embarrass your family: It was all going fine until your uncle whipped out his pennywhistle, then shit got real.
What would he bring: Sausage
How he would embarrass your family: By scooting around in a box all night, quietly slipping entire places of food from the table.
Sam from Gone Home
What would she bring: Tacos
How she would embarrass your family: By forcing you all to listen to her truly awful mix tapes while she talks wistfully about almost anything.
What would she bring: Dinner rolls. Because, you know, she rolls.
How she would embarrass your family: By this point in her life she has a stomach of steel, so what seems like a good idea to share with the family may not actually be polite dinner conversation. Aka the evisceration of giant alien brains.
What would she bring: She brought the stuffing, sweet potatoes, spinach souffle, cranberry spread, grilled asparagus, green bean casserole, and steamed corn on the cob because who else would?
How she would embarrass your family: She wouldnt. Shes adorable. Unless they feel shame because all of her food is better than theirs.
What would he bring: Mashed Potatoes, its kind of his specialty.
How he would embarrass your family: By only being able to talk in monosyllabic grunts and physical assertions of dominance. He might mount your sister.
What would he bring: Creme Brulee, its really cute actually when he uses his fire breath to caramelize the top :3
How he would embarrass your family: ...just never let him back up.
What would he bring: Plastic forks and plates, because there always has to be that one asshole.
How he would embarrass your family: Him and your crazy uncle will get along like peas in a pod, and by the end of the night, both will be thrown out of the house for their inability to hold a tune despite their insistence on singing most--if not all--of Queens greatest hits.