We’re going to get straight to the point: Vampire’s Rain is a wretched game. It hates you, it insults you as a gamer and it plain doesn’t want you to enjoy playing your 360. Forget any twinge of excitement you may have felt from the trailer, or the whiff of promise that wafts out of the Splinter Cell-meets-Dracula concept - this is a game to avoid like Marmite-flavored herpes.
Why so bad? It’s tough to know where to start. The horrible, unrelenting grayness of it all is the most immediate problem. This game is bland from the dull city-street environments, right through to the waxy characters. Even the horror is painfully plain. Shoot a Nightwalker in the head with a sniper rifle and they’ll just stumble around before dissolving quietly into a puddle of green gunk. Discover a trio of your own men impaled on road signs, and instead of getting a quick fright you’ll be dumbstruck at how appalling the gore looks. If, that is, you still have the willpower to muster an emotion as complex as “dumbstruck.”