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The Top 7... New Year's Resolutions for the world of games

Stopping smoking... Losing weight... Being more pleasant to people you truthfully wouldn't mind seeing run over a few times by something heavy... Yeah, new year's resolutions are boring. They're part of the reason January is such a drag after Christmas, and on the whole they're best off ignored.

Except in this case. Because at the end of the day, gaming can't fail to be fun, and anything that enfunnens it with more fun to make it even funner has to be a good thing, right? Of course. So we've laid out a set of resolutions for everyone involved in gaming; a list of ideals that publisher, developer and gamer alike can use to make life better for all of us. Read on, heed our advice, and let's see if we can make 2009 a year of peace, love and unity thoughout the world of games. Answer: Probably not.

 

Hey publishers, picture the scene. You’ve just gone into a high class car dealership and laid down a cheque for the gleaming piece of vehicular porn of your choice. You are informed that only the engine, wheels, seats and chassis are available as the rest isn’t even built yet. You can have the rest in a few weeks, but only after you buy the bare bones kit. And the doors will be extra. They’re coming as premium bonus content next month. Happy?

Starting a new title is an important and exciting ritual of gaming. We don’t want to take home an incomplete game and have it sit there for a fortnight, taunting us with great things yet to come. We don’t want to waste our time half-playing through a buggy mess until you fix it. We don’t want to jubilantly discuss a new game’s awesomness with a friend, only to realise that we can’t share the experience in multiplayer yet (Cheers, Castle Crashers). We want to revel in the whole package, from day one, just as it should be. And we’ll happily wait a little longer for that.



As said above, getting into a new game is always an exciting thing, no matter how many times we do it. What does get old through repetition though, is being told the controls. Journeying home from the games shop with a fresh disc in hand already makes for a screamingly frustrating wait, but having to play for around 40 minutes before we can even get into the real game? Cruel, devs, very cruel.

Do we need you to check up on us to make sure we understand the full implications of the phrase "Press A to jump?" Pressing A always makes us jump! Always has, always will. We don't need a worked example to understand such a heady concept, no do we need one for "Move right stick to aim". The sentence is pretty self-explanatory in itself, and if we get really stuck we can always read the manual. Because, you know, we can read and stuff.

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44 comments

  • AbleCluster - January 3, 2009 4:15 p.m.

    Personally, I would be happy with a new Zelda game! Jess www.Privacy-Center.net
  • iluvmyDS - January 1, 2009 7:26 p.m.

    Great article Mr. Houghton. Let's hope that we the gaming community can learn from this. And you developers that are lurking about.
  • Rampage911 - January 1, 2009 7:43 a.m.

    just have fun- brilliant
  • oreomonkey - December 31, 2008 11:56 p.m.

    Pie
  • Pablos102030 - December 31, 2008 7:05 a.m.

    "Pressing A always makes us jump! Always has, always will." See: Shadow of the Colossus. Triangle is to jump, not X, if I remember correctly. But that game didn't even have a tutorial, so eh.
  • ceoofmedusa - December 30, 2008 5:51 p.m.

    @Tomsta666...I agree 100%. How over-saturated is that genre. Like fighters in the 90's. Good lord. Gamers are too smart for developers to live by the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" motto. We need innovation !
  • chillwill0330 - December 30, 2008 3:10 p.m.

    I'm glad Fallout 3 has the option to be 1st or 3rd person. I like the 3rd person view alot better.
  • Cernunnos - December 30, 2008 12:52 p.m.

    @ Romination: actually, my 360 isnt constantly hooked up either, but so few games do this that it hardly poses a problem even for those without constant XBL/(psn). furthermore i would recomend buying a wireless reciever. i costs round and about the same as a launch-day game and allows you to hook your 360 up to LIVE and your computer, which is well worth the money. if you are a hardcore gamer, and plays for several hours on end, i would also recomend buying a USB-extention as i've heard of incidents where the wireless reciever actually melts from the massive heat produced by this gens best console. taping it up on the wall is also useful if your signal is poor.
  • Elbo444 - December 30, 2008 6:14 a.m.

    i agree with all except i only half agree with the first person thing, i like games that you can switch like oblivion or.. some others that i can't think of right now, but yeah there are some tasks that are easier in first and others in third
  • bron1417 - December 29, 2008 11:39 p.m.

    just what i wanted to see after my trip nice artilce guys
  • camo510 - December 29, 2008 11:07 p.m.

    i hate ps3 vs xbox fights... i have my opinions they have theirs and im fine with that.
  • Thequestion 121 - December 29, 2008 8:44 p.m.

    Nice Article. i agree on everything you said.
  • xenomorph99 - December 29, 2008 6:31 p.m.

    Great article. I think developers should take heed when it comes to listening to what fans want, not producing uninspired dross that ends up in the bargain bin a week after release.
  • masneppihs02 - December 29, 2008 5:51 p.m.

    Last
  • Romination - December 29, 2008 5:05 p.m.

    Cernunnos-yes, that's a good point, but still, not everyone is hooked up to the internet. I myself have to haul my 360 from one side of the house to the other in order to hook it up for anything, and if I have to do that with every stupid game that I buy JUST because the developers decided to ship it early... I start to lose out on the reason I bought the game anyways. Remember when games shipped complete? Like...a generation ago? Ah...let's all...let's just go back to then and remember how nice it was...
  • tirrandir - December 29, 2008 2:21 p.m.

    The Capcom vs. Sega thing is disgustingly true. I don't know how Sega keeps deliberately avoiding the advice everyone gives them. I think a large part of this is that Sega is very Japanese, while Capcom is all over the map. SF is owned by the USA Capcom, BC was made in Europe, and Mega Man 9 was probably one of those games that went over way better over here (though I'm just talking out my ass). I somehow doubt that things are run the same way on the other side of the pond. Sometimes that's good, and sometimes that's werehog.
  • Cernunnos - December 29, 2008 1:46 p.m.

    everything else are just perks, that is...
  • Cernunnos - December 29, 2008 1:45 p.m.

    i must say i disagree on 2 ponts here. first-person view is great for shooters, whilst little else. 3rd person is kinda crappy on shooters, but can work wonders in other genres. Gears are good games, indeed, but in my oppinion shooters should be F.P. releasing games before they are done is a way to let gamers have a huge go at the game earlier than what would have been possible otherwise. as long as the DLC that finishes the game is free and does not take too much space it is a good thing. bickering aside; the rest i must agree on. oh, maybe except 7. exclusives are what makes any console worthwhile, everything are just perks. lol
  • SkullSplitter - December 29, 2008 1:38 p.m.

    THIS LIST CONTAINS TRUTH!!!!
  • Dr.Salvador - December 29, 2008 11:57 a.m.

    first. makes a lot of sense... that saves me the trouble of finding a NY resolution

Showing 1-20 of 44 comments

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