Christmas is nearly here, and we can’t wait for it to be over. After spending over an hour in line with a stressed out mother struggling to wrestle candy from her brood of bratty toddlers, we desperately wanted to punch her screaming cubs in the face. But it’s not just the crowds and children that we hate. We have plenty leftover for all the gaudy lights, too. How wasteful! Why not turn off all those ugly electricity eaters and conserve our dwindling natural resources? While we’re at it, let’s turn off the life support systems, too. Old people are always so hard to shop for.
Fortunately, there is one thing we do like about Christmas. It gives us a chance to channel all our Christmas contempt towards the worst games we had the pleasure of hating this year. So join us, in what is fast becoming a GamesRadar tradition, as we take a tour through our seven favorite “bad” titles that you definitely don’t want for Christmas this year.
7. Tony Hawk Ride (360, PS3, Wii)
The reviews have arrived and it’s official: the Tony Hawk franchise is dead. The motion sensitive skateboard controller could’ve helped mark a fresh start for the long loved series. But the frumpy controller, which sends you weaving wildly through each level like a drunken elephant on a unicycle, makes Tony Hawk Ride feel more like an expensive funeral.
Rest in peace, Tony Hawk. We’d like to take a moment to remember the good times, like grinding rails in Venice Beach and stringing together tricks with manuals to create near-infinite combos in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. Connecting tricks like this is what made Tony Hawk titles so much fun, but all the fine precision and timing from previous titles are absent in Ride. In their place, wild sweeping turns that send you straight into walls every time you lean, tricks that feel accidental when they work, and frustrating when they don’t. The hefty retail price ($119.99/ £111.95) for the game and skateboard controller adds insult to injury, making this not only a bad game gift, but an extremely expensive one, too.
Above: We’ll just have to take it one day at a time
Above: The skateboard controller is quite sturdy, but grinding rails and doing tricks just isn’t fun anymore
Above: We don’t think gamers or skaters will like THRide. But if you’re a total douchebag with a designer apartment, it might be perfect for you
What you should do if you got this for Christmas: If you can return or exchange your copy of Tony Hawk Ride, we’d recommend you pick up a copy of Skate 2 for the 360 or PS3. Skate It is also a good choice for Wii and DS owners. Plus, you can always return to retro classics for your skating fix. Swap meets are great for finding classic games like Skate or Die and Skate or Die 2 for the original NES!