It’s a given that, to enjoy a romcom, you need to suspend disbelief. The Accidental Husband requires even harder work. First, believe that Uma Thurman can do charming, ditzy and funny. Then, buy into the premise that an uptight, Colin Firth-engaged relationships guru (Thurman’s Emma) could irritate a gruff fireman (Clooney/Bardem love-child Jeffrey Dean Morgan) so much that he’d hack into public records to make her officially married to him (Naturally, the animosity slowly melts into affection.) And finally, swallow an excruciating scene where singing badly with a mouth full of cake like a borderline manic-depressive apparently amounts to the most adorable behaviour you’ve ever seen. Even if you can clear all those hurdles, what’s left is still limp, transparently plotted flight fodder. Jilt it.