The 15 stupidest game types Wii invented

Unleashing innovation in hardcore abundance

Thanks to Wii, Lawn Dartsare enjoying a bit of a renaissance after nearly two decades of banned sale in the US. Okay… maybe the activity technically killed a couple of kids, but courageous developers have finally defied the enemies of fun and released several versions of the latest murder simulator.


Above: Uh oh, the guy on the right looks like the first tragedy


Above: Wisk yourself away to exotic locales and pristine beaches… to throw sharp contraband short distances


Above: The other “24 Games” are more than likely things you haven’t seen before



Above: Neither stupid nor impractical

It’s debatable whether or not gaming is to blame for current obesity epidemic, but no one can point a fat finger at digital food. Get ready to burn as many calories as repeatedly scooping handfuls of Cheetos from Costco bag to face… fake culinary delights are a flick of the wrist away!


Above: Place open palm on flapjack griddle to save game


Above: See ladies, Mama’s looking out for you


Above: Yeah bitch, fire roast them pancakes!


Above: The new Mario


Slow down there, Slick McWilly! For over three decades games have been stereotyped as interactive experiences requiring skill and reflexes. Thank goodness we’re finally getting with the times. So, while a large portion of Wii games do focus on dragging fish from water while performing the Arsenio Hall cheer, others boldly let you relax and get your look on.


Above: A Blue Tang clan ain’t nothing to f*** with


Above: Our love is real but they are not


Above: All this AND Math?!


Plenty of peripherals have allowed you to control games with your legs. Unfortunately, it’s usually a snowboard, skateboard, or some other “game-like” purpose. Luckily, Wii Balance Board was designed expressly for leaning’s sake. No ollies, no powder carving - just pure old fashioned body slanting represented on screen.


Above: Strike a pose in this superior mirror


Above: Ultimatum Statute 4.2.1.1: The player must start in a PS2 launch game


Above: Downward Facing Doggystyle


Without a doubt, Bowling is the most popular thing Wii’s got going. However, in a very close second, you’ll find the ever-growing pastime of Not Bowling. Oh, Skee Ball and Bocce may look like bowling, employ the same control scheme, and involve “bowling” a ball, but the differences are many and vast.


Above: Did you know “Bocce” is Italian for “bowl”?

Fact: Bocce is slower than bowling... so there. And you don’t get tickets redeemable for slide whistles and paper hats from bowling, do ya stupid? It really is unfortunate not every game can be bowling, but at least that doesn’t stop developers from trying.


Above: Our grandma’s favorite screenshot


Above: Don’t let the name fool you. There’s almost no skill required


Above: Canadian Bowling


Above: We live in exciting times


Above: The green ones make you feel buyer’s remorse


Above: You’re fooling no one


Above: So good they made it again!

Apr 16, 2009


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I LIKE TO MAKE THE GAMESRAIDER!!!!!!!1
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