Technically, that's not correct...

Nerd rage activate! It’s time to pointlessly nitpick games that don’t deserve it!

CoD 4 fairly accurately depicts what happens when a person is shot in a non-vital area with a moderately powerful handgun – it hurts like a bitch, but with enough adrenaline and training, the fight continues until a couple more bullets are pumped into the aggressor. But where it fails completely is with the assumption that instantly-lethal knife strikes can be performed with absolute consistency. In actuality, most knife wounds won’t immediately stop an attacker, but somehow these soldiers are so good they can always slice open the jugular. HAH! THAT’S LIKELY (not!). Technically... all right, you get it by now, just look at the pictures.


Above: Another bullshit kill


Above: If Call of Duty 4 is to be believed, this scene should have turned out much differently for Indy


SUPER MARIO BROS. Shells aren't Accessories

Turtles cannot "crawl out" of their shells. Their shells are fully integrated with the rest of their bodies. So they definitely can't pop out of their shells and then slide back in. They would die if that happened. There would be blood everywhere.Children would be crying. But look at this shit:


Above: Wait for it... wait for it... yeah, technically, this isn't correct


Above: A real turtle. Damn that's a cute turtle. Why does Mario hate turtles so much? Let's call PETA and inform them that there's a fat Italian man jumping on innocent little turtles just to see what they do.


LEMMINGS You got Disney'd!

Lemmings don't throw themselves off of cliffs for the hell of it. That's stupid as shit. What species would survive this long if its favorite pastime was dying? No, Lemmings will occasionally jump into bodies of water and swim across them. Disney threw them off a cliff in their documentary White Wilderness. So the game, Lemmings, which depicts the noble creatures as imbeciles who have no issue with walking off of cliffs and falling to certain death istechnically not correct. Pretty addictive though. Die stupid Lemmings!

Aug 25, 2009


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Associate Editor, Digital at PC Gamer
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